In the past you were broken
I didn't understand how much pain you were in
I didn't want to believe it
That you were hurting all the time and trying not to show it
Taking pills and cutting just to erase each day
Finally telling someone what you did
You've changed so much since the years have past
It's like those depressing times were never here
I'm glad you've changed and are on the right track
You keep pushing forward and never look back

its all a lie. let me tell you that. i dont love him like that. i love him as a friend. just remember.




and i never thought he would love
me
or anyone
but as he leaned in to kiss my lips
i felt the slightest tingle
he held my hands and the words
'i love you so much'
fell from his lips
we kiss again
and he holds me
before we bid each other goodbye
as i wait for the next day to come
i am shattered by the loneliness that has over come me
'i need his touch'
i whisper to myself
as the days go on
i see him as much as i can
we fall more in love each day
closer and closer
and being loved like this
felt amazing
but have being hurt before
i fear it as well
his perfection over took that fear
as he told me the same
he loved me and didn't seek for my flaws
and my heart beat purely for him
he made me feel on top of the world
and although he could not cure
the depression that tore me apart
he did not add to the pain
and as we move on in life
he would hold my hands
and help me push my way
he stays by my side
as i never leave him
'forever'
he says
and i answer with a confused look
'that's how long i want to be with you'
and as our love grows into more
then just kisses and words
is stays pure
forever

I stared at the bruises, the scars, and the aches
And wondered just how many times her heart must break.

She was torn and broken,
But a word had yet to be spoken.

Alone and never okay,
By herself from the beginning with nothing to say.

I stared at my reflection and wondered why,
No one ever helped me and left me to die.

You're not eating properly
Eliane's mother said
you've hardly eaten a thing
Elaine who'd been thinking

of the boy John
looked up
through her glasses

at her mother
at the dining table
got to eat
her father interjected

got to eat
my young Plump Hen
her sister said nothing

but grinned
I do eat
Elaine said
but she didn't feel

like eating
it seemed the least
important thing

at that moment
her stomach felt
as if it had fallen
into a slumber

not enough
her mother said
maybe she's fallen in love

her father bantered
Elaine went red
and lowered her head
and began to nibble

at the food on her plate
nonsense
her mother said

it's some silly
slimming diet
I bet
not very successful

if it is
her younger sister said smiling
John had touched her arm

in passing at school
not by accident
but by design
he meant to touch

to bring her briefly
into his world
his circumference

she still touched
now and then
the area on her arm
he touched (at school)

with her fingers
I won't have you dieting
over some silly fad

her mother went on
but Elaine ceased listening
the words were buzzing flies
she wanted to

flick them away
with a hand
John had talked to her

not at her
or about her
(as others did)
or down to her

but with her
in a duel thing
he and she

kind of exchange
she ate slowly
the food almost
making her gag

getting stuck
in the throat
she held onto

the image of him
in her mind tried
to focus
on his outline

on his features
his words
taking each one

she could remember
and turning it over
in her mind
as if it were

a rare gem
girls your age
what are you now?

14 yes 14years old
ought not to diet
her mother said
breaking into Elaine's head

if I see you not eating again
I'm taking to the doctors
Elaine looked up

and put on
her good daughter face
that I'll do
whatever you want features

and John had placed
a hand by her head
at the school fence

his arm brushing softly
against her hair
and he never said anything
unkind about

her dark hair
or the metal grips
her mother made her wear

and her mother rattled on
but Elaine just returned
her innocent girl
stare.

your eyes
resigned and dark
like they've never seen a minute of sleep
(i mean this in the best way)
sometimes i catch myself staring and look away
because i am afraid that
if i gaze for too long
i'll never be able to stop
(please don't be offended)
and your tired voice
as though you feel you have to speak softly
or it will shatter this fragile thing
between us
sometimes i don't understand your murmurs
but they're beautiful all the same
and i don't ask you to repeat yourself
because i don't want you to think
you should ever speak louder
you are
the kind of sleepy   
i wouldn't mind listening to
(or looking at)
(or kissing)
for the rest of forever
your eyes say 'let me sleep'
and the timbre of your voice
replies 'if only i could'
but your words persist
fueled only by
your unrelenting interest
in
me

02.09.13

You, pretty girl, said I’ll never understand how much you love me. But, I don’t know why you love me like you do. What I actually think is; why? I’m nothing special. You could have any boy and I’m just another guy in a band.

But, in another way, I do understand. I know youre hopelessly head-over-heels. And I cant explain how much you mean to me. You are the reason why my dream is now become a reality. You are the reason of the smile on my face.

Believe me, when I said “I love you!” I mean it with all of  my heart. I found it silly that you spend your teenage years thinking about me more than your beautiful self. You said “You are my sunshine” “You saved me” but then you said “He doesn’t even care” “Why did I keep trying” and I don’t understand.

You are everything I want in a person, why are you so sad? Pretty girl, you are my sunshine. I want you to be happy, you mean the whole world to me. Don’t even say I said this to earn attention because I meant every single word I said. You like me, I like you. Its simple.

One day, I’ll find a girl and she might be special. But you’ll always be on my mind. I don’t want you to waste your time on me. You’ll fall in love again, you’ll love him. And I’m okay with that, princess. Youre so beautiful of course any boy will fall fot you. Don’t worry about me. The memory of me will soon fade away. Maybe one day you’ll laugh when you think of me and your heart will flutter, a bit, for me. But mine always skips a beat for you. You are gorgeous and I cant describe how much I want to hold you and whispers sweet nothings into your ear. But I cant. You will find someone that can do that and when you do, please hold him tight.

Find someone who can replace me. Find someone who makes your heart race. Pretty, stunning, gorgeous, beautiful girl, you bring a smile to my face everytime I think of you. Please think of me. Smile like I know you do. And take a deep breath.
I love you, you know that.