dad
how many bottles of alchohol
have you taken in
on this lonely hour?
do you ever think about me?
it's been 11 years since you've seen me
all I can ask you is why,
why would you want to do this to me

how many lines of the white "lifesaver" have affected your nose tonight?
do you see
how you're actually killing me
I hate you for everything
that you've done to me.

my family has really been hurting me lately
and please hear me out
I've lost all 3 of my aunts
and 1 of my uncles
within 6 months of each other
so everyone is always so stressed out

my mom has been abandoning me
but hear me out
she works a full time job
12 hours a day
and its not her fault
but its starting to hurt that I never see my mom

my little brother is treating me like ****
and calls me by names like *****
hear me out when i say this
he's only 12, I know
but it hurts like
anything else
would

my sister moved out after christmas
but she seems much happier
please just hear me out
id beg for her back
but why should
i try to make
her when i
would do
the same

now all im trying to say is that
life is giving me hell to
******* pay and
im so broke
because  
i lost
my
job


im sorry maybe i can give the payment for life next month?

my mental tiredness
is finally catching up
with the physical meaning of tired
and mom, no you aren't helping
stop letting my brother call me a ******* *****
i'm a ******
so I can't actually be a *****
mom you keep telling me
stop sitting in the darkness
well mom the darkness is me
and I can't escape
you say
go with your friends
go party, be like normal teens
mom the only friends i have
are the ones mentally here
the party is in me
and I wasn't invited
i dont know where this is going
but all i know is im sad and i want to cry

would it be bad to say
after sitting through a funeral
I want to be dead?
because they all talk like
heaven is a great place
why the ****
do I have to struggle here
when there is a place filled with
happiness and no more tears
I want to go
so im going to say goodbye
to all of the rest of my
teenage years.