Heaven Dawn

Heaven Dawn May 2014

Never fall in love with a train-wreck,
She'll yell because she's sad, push you away when she wants to be held
She's loose change, or the way sunburn feels across bottom lips.
She'll say I Love You in two different languages, Italian and yelling it while She kicks your self-esteem to bits against your windshield.
She can't form words to **** the elephant in the room, just **** the little pieces of you that were bow-wrapped personally for her.
She,
            she,
                       she, she will repeat through your mind, followed by insults she spewed on nights she didn't want to make-up, just ****-up.
She'll promise to allow you to set her right on her tracks, to
                                              take you down
                                                      with
                                                         h
                                                         e
                                                         r

Heaven Dawn May 2014

And you'll over-analyze this.

And they over-analyze the way I swing one hip, he called me a ******* temptress
a misguided teen with roses on her cheeks and her mother singing "Heaven Dawn, what's that flower you've got on?" while she ignores the fact that her precious daughter is picking her every petal and using them as her favorite chaser.
God, I want to be 7 again, when potions were real, and boys with leaves for eyes were only in the back of my mind and not feeling me up in the backseat of a car that's not even mine.
In reality, I drug him back here, I'm tired of cold beds and Bacardi chasers of sleeping pills, ****, I just want to feel.

Heaven Dawn May 2014

Describing you in 11 words

you are more than just a reason for a love poem.

-h

#short #you

Heaven Dawn May 2014

IS MY VOICE RAISED ENOUGH.

Slowly, I dripped every want, need and longing into my hand, forming in the spaces where you hands intended to be.
I came storming right into your life, arms out, begging, crying, "Take this, and that, have it." Take me
At least that's what it felt like, throwing everything I had or wanted to keep at you, begging for you to somehow love the way I hid these things between every argument.
Screaming things that make no sense to how I'm feeling, things to make me cringe and stomp over every nerve ending for you to leave. And inside I'm begging, arms out, crying "Take it, take every bit of it, have it, please." Take every rotten piece of me
And somehow you've only kept in record of how I say I love you far too little, and kiss any skin available in my reach, and you came gently into my life, never asking a single thing of me.
All the while I'm crying, begging stay long enough to realize I've become addicted to the shivers in my spine, and stars that scream your name.

Heaven Dawn May 2014

It's 5:47 pm and I can't find a sufficient way to say I Love You

These words I am writing will be misunderstood,
you belong between my legs, not in a ****** act but in the way of having you so close that I am more you than me.
Bottling the whispers against my neck close to my heart in vain, selfish for wanting to keep you this young and vulnerable forever.
I want to be able to break your heart over and over until the shards form another wall for me to crash through.
You've translated that wrong, I'm not into sadism, only into breaking you hard enough to forget my name, because I've come to the conclusion of loving you enough to form a new ******* ocean.
God these words are terrible, forgive me for I'm fighting myself in attempt of telling you I love you.
I'll only break you if I'm breaking and I know you wouldn't be able to handle the me that cries at crooked necks of baby birds laying at the foot of oak trees, and the way you won't kiss me hard enough to feel it.
Even I, have misunderstood the meaning of this poem.
****.

-h

Heaven Dawn May 2014

Blood, and the time you needed me.

If poetry could heal you, I would write on every surface in your house, I would write it until my hands bled.
If my words could sink into your bloodstream and became your second savior, I would fog every window in your car with I love you's and words I've only whispered as you slept.
If suddenly you fell to your knees with the weight of the world, I would grab every strong cell I had, to grab the world around the shoulders to redirect it in my direction.
my love for you is inexhaustible.

Heaven Dawn May 2014

And then I was born.

My mother named me wrong.
I am electricity constricted beneath too tight of skin.
I am earthquakes, and dry eyes when my mother is crying at the pills in my hand.
God assigned me a name that made no sense.
Heaven who ended up walking on the edge of hell at 4 a.m
Born a mistake, forgive me for the way my hands tremble at the thought of standards, for I'm as fragile as the topic of ******* in a church sermon.
I am a crude misconception of a woman, with the morals of a man.
I am my fathers daughter if I were to be claimed, but I refuse branding, and I am my own darkness.
I am nothing but I am.