"Do you like me" she blushes
all child like, pretending innocence and purity.
"i like u" he says
all wishing she weren't so filled with insecurity.

This is the role you play when you play in love.

Who will be the savior, the peasant and the Dove.

Who will play the child and who will play the son.

Who will play the mother, when her season comes.

"but do you love me" she asks, smiles and childish charm.

"i love you" he says as he holds to her arm.

She said "your wasted and your wasting time"
She said "your bringing this on yours and mine"
She said "You ****** up and I stopped breathing"
She said "You broke me, now my hearts stopped beating"

He said, "Mine Minds broke and I am about to loose"
He said, "the only thing helping is the *****"
He said " I love you but I love me more"
He said, "i will be the one to clean your blood from the floor"

She said, "honey I need you, and your an hour late"
She said "baby I love you but its turning to hate"
She said "lover I' strong but I'm starting to faint"
She said if you ever get ahold of yourself it will be to late"

And he said "you want me, take me, Like I am"
He said "you say you love but you would love any man"
He said "you want to change me, but thats not the deal"
He said "im telling the truth, and I'm speaking whats real"

She said "dude your a child lost in your own world"
SHe said "I've been here a while but your about to lose your girl"
She said "I've been strong and I conquered my vice"
She said, "now you conquere yours or you leave my life"

seven seconds till you wake
Holding you until I ache
Seven seconds till you come
Seven serpents come undone.

Seven holes in the seams of the universe
and seven topics for the streams to converse

Seven days until we made it all
Seven tears until a cries a call.

Seven ways to show you love
seven failures, will end in shove.

Seven lies all right to your face
Seven Idols all in disgrace.

Seven Gaping vortexes waiting to be full
Seven lonely women thinking they are dull
Seven sad sadistic lives, all lived once
Nobody ever died twice.

I'm like a being of speed and light and agility.
I sway in mad vibration from room to room.
My mind has found wells of new fertility,
and every single petal on my truth will soon bloom.

No one will tear my petals away.

A am a million times unfolding in quiet rooms
In parking lots
In grocery stores

I will force you to feel my presence
You will know my light and love
You will hear my voice and think
differently

The words i speak will change you
as they have changed me.

I am constantly unfolding
in rented houses
in coffee shops
on the highway

Bringing reality to the conversation...

Yeah but how did that make you feel
Okay, but why was that the decision you made.
Did it hurt when your mother passed away
Were you feeling to much pressure
have you ever made a mistake,
and before you answer

know I won't judge, I love you
I want to help you....
Just tell me how it felt when you knew it was real

When you knew it was over,
when you couldn't stop the feel.
Tell me why your angry
and tell me why your hurt

Tell me why deep inside your feeling very burnt.
Your feeling very jaded and you think your shouldn't be
So you've cut yourself off, from them and her and me.

You think your don't deserve to feel justified in this life...
You think you have to struggle alone with all your strife.

Not true, not true,

I am unfolding always
In letters sent to the prison
In Texts to long lost friends
In Conversations on the phone

In saying some things, sometimes, to soon for you to understand....

But you'll get there, I am helping you.

Cheap skinny insecure. tell her who she is.
If she thinks you love her your bound to get a kiss.
Mangled broken ***** girl where has she been.
Promise her freedom and she'll forgive your sin.
Beautiful weak broken nails,
 tired oh so sick
 listen to her heart beat listen to her tales.
Oh so tired and sick
Happy on the outside ***** deep with in.
Staple labels on her fore head, stick em in with pins.
Shes so so stupid and shes so so lame.
Shes been so so good, while in such such pain.

Cheap skinny insecure. Tell me who I am.
Broken down little girl, ******* little lamb.

Cheap skinny insecure locked in my own head.
Halley Layne tired and bored. should have stayed in bed,

Today I accepted whats with in.
This one mind, which is every where.
and I accepted who I have been
and i realized there is no such thing as fair.

Today I opened myself to God and Satan and everything in between.

Because i realize evil is something with in Mans Illusion Dream.

So I'm allowing everything
to just  move through me...

But i still am not aloud to hold on.

I am frightened of holding still...
But while i fear I am frozen in place...
I wish that i could move by will
But I still have to many fears to face.

Sweet talking delirium
Am I losing my composer
Or are these ancient spirits
truly drawing closer

Have I been given some key
Some formatted puzzle
Something to see
Beyond a rebuttal

Beyond some words that can be drawn false

Tension drips from my lips
I tighten forcefully.
I tap my finger tips
recognizably.
Hoping you look over
to see my anger seethe
Notice the chip on my shoulder
And ask it nicely to leave.
Your the thing to calm me,
and my raging head disease.

From every scattered verse
To every driven hearse
It all but a domino

The affect is felt
The ripples melt
People either die or grow.

Time is spent
Find whats meant
You either stay or you go.

My lord such a staking pain
you left me hear, but call my name
I'm glad to tell you you've won
but the feelings just now fun
cause its rushing now away
to a further worser place
and im just another case
of petty self pitty in a pool of drool

I'm sick of ****, so wasted too
I'm ******* sick youth ****** by you.
I called the cab, who never came
At least before we were the same.

You get to sick you get to ****.
You get under my ******* skin.
Not like the drugs, the needles then
You take me over, i refuse to win.

I need release I need some peace
I need your love to ******* cease.
I'm tired here I'm wasted near
I need no love from you dear.

I'm sick of you. You call me too
Think I'm a friend, an enemy
I'm fed up with you. Just nice to you
I just don't want to be mean.

A fly, who was once a maggot
Told me of a story
One of breaking bad habits
And it was kind of gory

The fly he said His name
Had always been the same
But his body had been different
Deep with in he changed.

He said once my flesh was juicy
a pale color I appeared
and in the flesh I would eat the flesh
For those who death had neared.

Eating they decay I made the world a better place
But I no longer eat much as a fly
So I must breed more of my race
We must multiply

Our young, Our youth,
they rid the world of corruption
with out us the dead would
scatter like an eruption

A thousand carcasses
No one to like them clean.

Geometrically eternal
Like a thousand spinning diamonds
Your fish bowl eyes are spiraling
You pisces jesus man.
And I see my imaginary friend
From all those years ago
In my husbands magnetic aura
And I feel a bit like the time travelers wife
As if gods been loving me from the start
I wanted to grow up and marry the clouds and falling rain
Because they new my name
And they looked at me like I was something
To see.

I broke that middle bone
the one they call the spine
It fell apart today
while I stood in line.

I was waiting for some love,
or some appreciation
I broke my back to day
in mid frustration

while i handed my pride to you
and begged that you would keep it

Keep it clean for me,
cause later i would need it.

My back bone broke, it even might have bleeded.

and with out that stupid thing i dont think i ever would have
succeeded.

So now that my back bones gone
my spine has dissapeared
I guess i will just wither away
This is always what I've feared .

Oh honey, you plagiarize strokes of dead legends
But thats just because deep with in you are of them
You do things only you could do, which make my mind bend
but then again its you who I always think of with wisdom.

You greatly seperate yourself from those and what is not
Like a golden God is not a calf but a dying fruit is rot.
You question my movement and intention
but see through all the rest into what I am truly.

You know the fires of my ***** burn for your desire
and that this beacon I am streaming is made only for one.
You know that the winds of my plains scream one name
they only scream one name....

And its you, love of a thousand lives
Oh its you, Love like this never dies.

I'm severed heads in
sheets for beds
but lane across a high way.

You want me to comfort you
But seen across the fly way

You lift off a stop to short
and end up in the by way.

Hello beautiful,
I missed you while we slept
while you drifted off peacefully
i was in a world of clammer
thinking of all the possibilities
and totally enamored

i fell into a pit of self pity and decay
thinking of all the bad in all the different ways
And while your breathing staid so steady
mine became inflamed
and I squeezed you while i held it
choking down the pain

Things flashed upon my mind in rapid repetition
thought after thought
combustion after collision.

As I held you
while you slept
I thought of every possibility
and quietly wept.

Lick me with your fist
Its all I've ever known

Lose me in the mist
Separation's all I've known

Tell me that you hate me
I want to know how that feels.

You've lead me through this relationship
So guilt free so comforting.

You have given me, lack of shame
Lack of pain
Lack of hate
and I fear it will be to late
when you let go
throw your fist first.
I need to quench this sadistic thirst.

We were all three so high
Mommy step daddy and daughter.
I was sixteen
My mom was so mean
She beat the **** out of me
For no reasoning.

And her old man, he had been raised the same
So understood, like we had the same brain
and he loved me, more than his own daughter.
Yeah I loved him more than my own father

He was ******, and i had always wanted to be..
A high school flunky, that was definately me.
A sick twisted mind, wrapped in sick twisted slime
**** I was an addict before my time.
10 years old watching movies about herion,
and *** and ******
and cigarettes and*******.
Needles intruiged me, I was insane.

So when Jon came in to the bath room
and said you wanna shot
I pulled out my arm,
sweat beaded hot.
He pulled out the blood,
mixed with the **** rot
Pushed it back in and it felt like a clot.
Moved to my heart
I could taste it in my mouth
in to my brain
I was passing out.

Its slipping all away from you,
one twenty years and things have past
how did it all move so fluidly
and things you never thought you'd leave
are now long forgotten in photo albums
and vhs tapes.

How time fades into the eons of some one elses heritage.
Did you lose or did you gain?
How could we ever know....

Your decadence transposes me
I see you there in Jewels and honor
and I am shaken mightily.
With seraphim in my way
I ache for your position.

Light Blinds my mind of such Indulgence
i see slowly more reason for abstinence in all that you do.

You have shown me a worser way
and they call you the pigs.

Those who are disgusting in their wake.
Those who repulse the clean mind .
I see you and I want judgment upon you
But yet again Light blinds my mind
and I still see reason for abstinence in those things you do.

I could never hang you from a cross for your greed,
or for your anger or for your jealousy.
But you would hang me for my acceptance of it.

My dreams fall like drops from clouds
down to my feet and meet my gaze.
I was never very... Out going...
I never knew how to take what I wanted
I politely waited in silence for it to be given..

And when it never came I just simply
withered away a little bit more, one at a time
the light in my cells faded to a quiet
dim,
barely lit glow and I am just happy they still shine,
even just a little bit.

But I can't lie, the difference, is *noticeable

There there angel face dont cry
I'll move away from the wound
You can lick it by yourself
Ill just watch you

There there
Queen of the ******
You Lovely women
who love your man
You have me driven
you have me band
I am not sorry.


There there
little girl
you squirm
I am you father,
daughter never learn
There there
little child
don't move
I want to see
whats inside you.

You grow like a wild flower
In the middle of spring
You grow with love and Power
Nothing left to give me

I see you there, child, innocent
I see you clear, My lover,

Increments
of Gold,
and mercury
surround you

Dare not old

Age, let if find you

Wither with me
into age
Fade with me
Fade away

Into finality infinitely

We move into

Infinitely
we move into old age

Giving to you was something
I never really understood.

In my mind idea's were formed.
And to love you was simple.

I knew nothing of giving.
I only knew, receive, admire.

I am a woman.

But I have taught myself to forgo
the urge to receive,
and I have taught myself to learn
the pleasure of giving.

And when you say its instinct
and you think you like it better...
When you say its spiritual
and not just secondary weather....

I see the reason.

Dried flowers catch dust just like Archaic decoration

and You told me you loved me in a kind of declaration


I never wept for joy except for joyful pain

and you never told me anything good

Just made me question sane...

Blank space sits before me,
on the way to the tv or to the lamp.
Its there but I can see through it
I wave my hand to stir the static.
Nothing happens. Nobody Blinks.
Sparks jump like flint here and there.
They fly off my finger tips. Which are cold,
like my bones are mode of ice.
And then I can't stop popping my joints.

Where was I going with this, some place new hopefully.
Some where that my bones can easily melt into my flesh
and I can for once in my life reach relaxation.
A place often ignored by my body.
the base of my spine aches with tension
and I pray to every God there is for relief.
I worship every Idol and go on every journey.
I read every message in hopes of hearing it
Clearly for once.
In hopes of find the way, or a way or something
to hold to.
I know its all about my insides.
Like the kingdom is with in
They say that clearly enough.
But... I think My insides are missing...

Seconds seem alot like sand
Falling through the hour glass
Moving with the second hand
Making sure eternity lasts...

Yes minutes seeem alot like
Rulers on a counter top
and music playing music stops.


Hours seem like prison cells
Counting bricks and Record Sales
Waiting for a strangers smile
To Make a better day.

And days get me started but
I would rather leave the door shut
on weeks and months and years
I would rather be here....
Not counting moments in fear
Not planning to shed tears.

Make me Your bark
Your branches and leaves
and be my roots
Which bring me life and peace.

You can relax lay upon the ground
And I can be the one that will hold you down.

Make me your ray
reaching into the sky
Fill me with your love
So that we can both fly

Move through my body
into my depths
Lay on the ground
So that you can rest.

I will cover you With my folds.
I will hold you Until we are old.

So make me your woman
Your love your desire
Make me your ladder
So that we both can climb higher.

Candy soaked and rhythmic
see the words they make no sense
But the feeling that i'm feeling
I swear must exist


time is fully passing and the feeling is profound
like my atoms smashing every time i move my mouth
and speakings coming out, like it wants to feel so proud

but its only atoms smashing when i move my mouth

I bleed in shades of grey and white
How dare you question my meaning
and in this time we never reach out
TO those in worser need of preening.

You love to talk about yourself
I can relate to you.
But dear  you ignore my ever cry
When you need to lend an ear too.

I bleed in shades of acrylic gel and
Paste to far along the edge.


You scrap the dried flakes away
after You pushed me off the ledge.

I have not yet one single thing
To tell you about the inside
My mind is just a simple thing
and you would find it hard to find.

I can't word the thoughts i hear
and I can't write them either
and if i held you near
You may feel it in my ether.

There is sound on the horizon
And color, shade, and cloud
And its you I keep my eyes on
Bright and burning, loud.

There is vibration in the universe,
I can feel it in the air
and when i took the skin off
It left me looking bare

But i want whats with in
Like ripping the flesh back
I want whats hidden
Like fulfilling the lack

Its you I look to,
and the base of the horizon
Its you I need
Your who i keep my eyes on
You have lit my life,
Brought me direction
Information

Seams so sacred
Till you rip them open
then inside
You've exposed them
rotten sutures
thread destroyed

Silly ideas
You thought
and you toyed

Never work out
You thought and  employed
a thousand wrong examples
To explain the right idea.

A million wrong translations
For a single right idea.

Love your fellow as you would yourself.

Fingers stretch to catch something out of touch
And reach for those things clearly never seen.
Looking for something but never getting much
And still left to wonder what it really could mean.
Wavering, in and out of knowing and unknowing
Simply bidding to short a chain to lead
Chaos is evident in all of this throwing
But there is that ever present need....
And  that liquid relaxation That ever present need,
Weaving in and out of you and them and me
I struggle for foundation and I struggle in temptation
And I haven't even found myself in this wide consuming creation.
Not, just yet, and I plan a head to day but not for my tomorrow.
FOr that ever present need.

Sub sequence
Domino
I am left
No where to go
You are right
and this we know.

Sub sequence
High then low.

You fall for me,
I taper so.

I love you now
You've some where else to go.

Sub sequence,
You move in shades of progression
One step two step
Funeral wake and then per-session .

Your lips look like shades of summer morning sky
and when i look into your eyes the reflections seem like clouds
hovering over two pristine earths, all blue with patches of brown.
You make me stutter and stop directly in my path
I must pause just to look at you, gaze at you, feel that love
that flows so effortlessly between us.

Your eye brows are like the grasses that cover plains so delicate
or like the soft hair whiskers of a feline they protect you in such subtle ways. and I appreciate them for the sweat and dirt that they have help out of those beautiful eyes.

The creases around your face all seem to point to the most effortlessly perfect parts of you and they accent them so humbly.

Enough enough I love you okay.

i can't seem to accept that notion,
or find anything else to do...
but just cry sometimes..

and i cry sometimes,
God knows me well
he knows my voice
, and he can tell I am sorry...
God knows my voice and he can tell
I am greif strickin,
why did we have to lose that chance.

Our own unique....... well you know.

a little ..... something to real to say...

and now an everlasting "someday"

Its everlasting for me, oh orange rings sing so beautifully
like it was made in me....
and it was....

You know it was....
how real was that,
as real as me,
or not quite....
right... not to me.