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241 · May 2018
bones won't do me any good
Blankets cast up in the air
And float down like some beautiful veil
Comfort warmth and sweet incase
Cover up your lovely face
And keep your truth away from me
Cast my view of what I want to see
But I don't want your skeleton

I don't want your skeleton...
That's all you are to me
But I want you to be more.

Take down my walls of belief
Remove my perspective from me.

I don't want your skeleton.
240 · Feb 2019
Crisper
Candy soaked and rhythmic
see the words they make no sense
But the feeling that i'm feeling
I swear must exist


time is fully passing and the feeling is profound
like my atoms smashing every time i move my mouth
and speakings coming out, like it wants to feel so proud

but its only atoms smashing when i move my mouth
240 · Feb 2017
WHo I am
Cheap skinny insecure. tell her who she is.
If she thinks you love her your bound to get a kiss.
Mangled broken ***** girl where has she been.
Promise her freedom and she'll forgive your sin.
Beautiful weak broken nails,
 tired oh so sick
 listen to her heart beat listen to her tales.
Oh so tired and sick
Happy on the outside ***** deep with in.
Staple labels on her fore head, stick em in with pins.
Shes so so stupid and shes so so lame.
Shes been so so good, while in such such pain.

Cheap skinny insecure. Tell me who I am.
Broken down little girl, ******* little lamb.

Cheap skinny insecure locked in my own head.
Halley Layne tired and bored. should have stayed in bed,
240 · Mar 2017
Gasp
You string me like a fish
on the edge of a lake
wanting to swim
but it hurts to take

I see the water and the sun
beaming down
I feel like I am the only one
tied to the ground

Who are you hear, reeling us in
who are you hear, giving our end.

I feel like a fish
strung on the bank
and before i get released
it will be far to late
238 · Feb 2017
Back bone
I broke that middle bone
the one they call the spine
It fell apart today
while I stood in line.

I was waiting for some love,
or some appreciation
I broke my back to day
in mid frustration

while i handed my pride to you
and begged that you would keep it

Keep it clean for me,
cause later i would need it.

My back bone broke, it even might have bleeded.

and with out that stupid thing i dont think i ever would have
succeeded.

So now that my back bones gone
my spine has dissapeared
I guess i will just wither away
This is always what I've feared .
237 · Jun 2018
everything's alright
I'll question the sanity of the world
I'll keep my darker thoughts to myself
I'll pretend trust is real.
I won't breathe.

I won't twitch
I'll stay in line.
237 · Mar 2018
No risk
Fallen from the sky
with feathers of an angel
and fire of the gods
I wasn't turned away from you.
Though the stories and lore
Warned against those come from heaven
I knew jesus was the same
Cast from above
Light bringer
To the deprived.

Revelation I encountered
Thought producing thought.  
And you in my mind.

Terrible thing to not care
Whether he be devil or angel
God or not
His light burned so bright
I knew in my heart
this is who I follow.
237 · Sep 2018
Some Strange Thing
Oh, your giving into your second guesses
Like so many times before
And yet you went to sleep last night,
with your keys still in the door.

Panic never fills you
when the time is right
Show me all your logic
Darkness ridden in its light.

Betray is such an easy word
an easy form an easy play

Hold me against all this world
For one night for all days.

Beg me for my understanding
Oh I'll give you understanding.
Make me your martyr
I will suffer
ever harder.
237 · Apr 2017
Childs play
She likes warmth and venom
She says it stings inside
and when you try to lift them
All the bugs crawl and hide

But dont you ever question
where they crawl off too
I know I have been wondering
What they ever will do....

Seems they burrow under
Layers layers of rotten flesh
from trees and plants
and birds and things.


You know I have always wondered
Where they ever will go
when i turn a rock over
and crouch down real low
and all those little bugs and salamanders
run for the hills
they climb inside of holes and caves
it must be quite the thrill
to live with in the earth
a cavern safe and sound

Buggies little slimy things

I see them and my heart pounds.s.
236 · May 2017
ornamental Leaves
My leaves have all been picked this year.
My blooms, the petals gone.
My truth has all been covered in fear
I am desperately awaiting the dawn.
Losing touch is easy, fading out is quick
Eyes which glowed once, will soon turn grey and sick.
Excelleration will slowly slow, motions comes to stop
No vision of where to go , so your body begins to drop.
Death is such a progressive thing, a sinking in of presence
Sometimes I find it filling me, A quite uncomfortable essence.
How often have I given myself to death. How often have I called it.
How often have I begged for it, to confront my issues and solve it.
Who is death and what is it... Why do I feel it, even though I am alive.
How can something living, COmprehend death... Why do I know what dying is like.
Why do I want to die?
I see winter coming, and Know deep in my bones, I haven't gathered enough resources to make it on my own. And death will make it so, that I do not suffer long.
234 · Feb 2017
Legendary Divorce
She said "your wasted and your wasting time"
She said "your bringing this on yours and mine"
She said "You ****** up and I stopped breathing"
She said "You broke me, now my hearts stopped beating"

He said, "Mine Minds broke and I am about to loose"
He said, "the only thing helping is the *****"
He said " I love you but I love me more"
He said, "i will be the one to clean your blood from the floor"

She said, "honey I need you, and your an hour late"
She said "baby I love you but its turning to hate"
She said "lover I' strong but I'm starting to faint"
She said if you ever get ahold of yourself it will be to late"

And he said "you want me, take me, Like I am"
He said "you say you love but you would love any man"
He said "you want to change me, but thats not the deal"
He said "im telling the truth, and I'm speaking whats real"

She said "dude your a child lost in your own world"
SHe said "I've been here a while but your about to lose your girl"
She said "I've been strong and I conquered my vice"
She said, "now you conquere yours or you leave my life"
234 · Feb 2017
little
I wish i had, i wish to hold.
Extremely tender, when I should have been bold.
I wish i had you in my arms.
Sadly i could not stop the harms.
You have vanished before we touched.
In my heart i have you clutched.
I don't know why i long for you
but its all I ever do.
233 · May 2017
I wish
Blank stare at the wall
but a million miles in between
what I want and what I have.

You could lick it clean.
232 · Feb 2017
Truth
Edgy yeah thats the way I have been
Sick and ******* tired of trying to be a friend.
Tell me now, have you felt that way before.
And if you have, could you tell me something more?

Are you the one always trying to make peace?
Are you the one constantly kissing others' feet?
Are you the one simply wasting away
While you sit and listen to ever one elses day?

**** that, You've been to good to them
And now its time they try to be a friend.
You've listened to their problems, whiny *******.
But if you try to share your art or poetry they wont sit.

They wont listen.
They have better things to talk about.

They dont care about your problems or how you've turned them into art.
They are just waiting for you to shut up so that they can start.

God i ******* hate selfishness.
232 · Apr 2017
BLueto
I'm severed heads in
sheets for beds
but lane across a high way.

You want me to comfort you
But seen across the fly way

You lift off a stop to short
and end up in the by way.
232 · Jan 2017
waterloo
can i get some more, of that from you,
can you give me.... watterloo.
another set back, who would have knew
, i can't tell you what to do.
if it was a fight, i want to lose,
and if it was a song, I'll sing the blues.
Can you just give me waterloo
i can't tell you what to do
give me give me water loo.
If you can i'd know what to do
18 15 your team my team.
play me win me
wake me from a dream.
waterloo
belguim too.
who knew  he would loose.
1815 your team my team
play me wake me lose me in a dream
231 · Mar 2017
Seven
seven seconds till you wake
Holding you until I ache
Seven seconds till you come
Seven serpents come undone.

Seven holes in the seams of the universe
and seven topics for the streams to converse

Seven days until we made it all
Seven tears until a cries a call.

Seven ways to show you love
seven failures, will end in shove.

Seven lies all right to your face
Seven Idols all in disgrace.

Seven Gaping vortexes waiting to be full
Seven lonely women thinking they are dull
Seven sad sadistic lives, all lived once
Nobody ever died twice.
229 · Jan 2017
Serpentry Rising.
Its psychedelic to lay with you
So I close my eyes.
I watch the darkness come over you
As you slip beneath the lights.

You seem so beautiful
in shades of black and blue
It seems so magical
To just lay here with you.


Its like your glowing
Eyes closed but view is flowing
I can see you in this darkness.

The serpent comes out to coil
Its up and down our spines
She lets us know we are royal
As she dances in curved lines

The Serpent fills me full
I can surge it into you
I can feel you pull
We both know what to do.

Ascension happens here,
In this loving bed.
Ascension happens here!
Not later when we are dead.
Raising the kundalini with tantric rites.
228 · May 2017
your cute
Its not right,
Not exactly what I Thought
it might
be because
What you have
is
very very new.
228 · Jun 2017
OverJoyed and UnderFed
We were destined to come alive
To be here together,
We were destine to collide
Becoming never ending pleasure...
and pain
They never stressed the latter quite enough

But I think i can understand....
what its like to relish every single terrible thing that has happened
because I know that its How you take your pain
that measures you happiness.
and I am yes I am yes I am
So terribly aching...
That my life yes my life yes my life
is an ****** in the making.
228 · Jul 2018
Oh I want to be heard.
Geometrically eternal
Like a thousand spinning diamonds
Your fish bowl eyes are spiraling
You pisces jesus man.
And I see my imaginary friend
From all those years ago
In my husbands magnetic aura
And I feel a bit like the time travelers wife
As if gods been loving me from the start
I wanted to grow up and marry the clouds and falling rain
Because they new my name
And they looked at me like I was something
To see.
227 · Jan 2017
Conscious over whelmed.
Today I accepted whats with in.
This one mind, which is every where.
and I accepted who I have been
and i realized there is no such thing as fair.

Today I opened myself to God and Satan and everything in between.

Because i realize evil is something with in Mans Illusion Dream.

So I'm allowing everything
to just  move through me...

But i still am not aloud to hold on.

I am frightened of holding still...
But while i fear I am frozen in place...
I wish that i could move by will
But I still have to many fears to face.
225 · Feb 2017
three I weaken
The flesh is enlarged, bigger than the mind
I am afraid we have forgotten what to find.
And in all of this confusion I still Lose the sight
In all of this ruin,  I can barely fight.
224 · Mar 2017
Who I want to be
I'm like a being of speed and light and agility.
I sway in mad vibration from room to room.
My mind has found wells of new fertility,
and every single petal on my truth will soon bloom.

No one will tear my petals away.

A am a million times unfolding in quiet rooms
In parking lots
In grocery stores

I will force you to feel my presence
You will know my light and love
You will hear my voice and think
differently

The words i speak will change you
as they have changed me.

I am constantly unfolding
in rented houses
in coffee shops
on the highway

Bringing reality to the conversation...

Yeah but how did that make you feel
Okay, but why was that the decision you made.
Did it hurt when your mother passed away
Were you feeling to much pressure
have you ever made a mistake,
and before you answer

know I won't judge, I love you
I want to help you....
Just tell me how it felt when you knew it was real

When you knew it was over,
when you couldn't stop the feel.
Tell me why your angry
and tell me why your hurt

Tell me why deep inside your feeling very burnt.
Your feeling very jaded and you think your shouldn't be
So you've cut yourself off, from them and her and me.

You think your don't deserve to feel justified in this life...
You think you have to struggle alone with all your strife.

Not true, not true,

I am unfolding always
In letters sent to the prison
In Texts to long lost friends
In Conversations on the phone

In saying some things, sometimes, to soon for you to understand....

But you'll get there, I am helping you.
223 · Jun 2017
Sincere
I'm no more sincere
sincere as you could be
and if you need some help
finding answers
never come to me.

I will tell you that I'm right
and your guilt first degree.
I'm no more sincere
sincere as you could be to me.
223 · Mar 2017
Narrow
Your decadence transposes me
I see you there in Jewels and honor
and I am shaken mightily.
With seraphim in my way
I ache for your position.

Light Blinds my mind of such Indulgence
i see slowly more reason for abstinence in all that you do.

You have shown me a worser way
and they call you the pigs.

Those who are disgusting in their wake.
Those who repulse the clean mind .
I see you and I want judgment upon you
But yet again Light blinds my mind
and I still see reason for abstinence in those things you do.

I could never hang you from a cross for your greed,
or for your anger or for your jealousy.
But you would hang me for my acceptance of it.
223 · Mar 2017
Whorship.
Oh honey, you plagiarize strokes of dead legends
But thats just because deep with in you are of them
You do things only you could do, which make my mind bend
but then again its you who I always think of with wisdom.

You greatly seperate yourself from those and what is not
Like a golden God is not a calf but a dying fruit is rot.
You question my movement and intention
but see through all the rest into what I am truly.

You know the fires of my ***** burn for your desire
and that this beacon I am streaming is made only for one.
You know that the winds of my plains scream one name
they only scream one name....

And its you, love of a thousand lives
Oh its you, Love like this never dies.
221 · Jun 2017
Alchemical
Transformation becomes the inside of mine spine
I have welcomed both Master and Servant to dine.
Enter me brave heart and know my confession.
I will roll on cycles of high tide and recession.

This moon which stays in place of Son.
This mother who moves in place of one.
Father would speak but his words fall on none.

My shades are vivid, and then shrouded in shadow.


I see new moons with in the flow of my blood
and when it wanes i know soon there will be flood.
I watch the changing of the fly.
Nest eggs and maggots,
a million will die.

Ascension they say
die you must
body fallen
to earths great crust.

Watch me transform
my flesh to light,

Refuse to lose
Alchemical delight.
221 · Mar 2017
Persptacalculation
Seconds seem alot like sand
Falling through the hour glass
Moving with the second hand
Making sure eternity lasts...

Yes minutes seeem alot like
Rulers on a counter top
and music playing music stops.


Hours seem like prison cells
Counting bricks and Record Sales
Waiting for a strangers smile
To Make a better day.

And days get me started but
I would rather leave the door shut
on weeks and months and years
I would rather be here....
Not counting moments in fear
Not planning to shed tears.
220 · Apr 2017
Attent
I bleed in shades of grey and white
How dare you question my meaning
and in this time we never reach out
TO those in worser need of preening.

You love to talk about yourself
I can relate to you.
But dear  you ignore my ever cry
When you need to lend an ear too.

I bleed in shades of acrylic gel and
Paste to far along the edge.


You scrap the dried flakes away
after You pushed me off the ledge.
220 · Apr 2017
Maggots
A fly, who was once a maggot
Told me of a story
One of breaking bad habits
And it was kind of gory

The fly he said His name
Had always been the same
But his body had been different
Deep with in he changed.

He said once my flesh was juicy
a pale color I appeared
and in the flesh I would eat the flesh
For those who death had neared.

Eating they decay I made the world a better place
But I no longer eat much as a fly
So I must breed more of my race
We must multiply

Our young, Our youth,
they rid the world of corruption
with out us the dead would
scatter like an eruption

A thousand carcasses
No one to like them clean.
220 · Mar 2017
Expectations
Lick me with your fist
Its all I've ever known

Lose me in the mist
Separation's all I've known

Tell me that you hate me
I want to know how that feels.

You've lead me through this relationship
So guilt free so comforting.

You have given me, lack of shame
Lack of pain
Lack of hate
and I fear it will be to late
when you let go
throw your fist first.
I need to quench this sadistic thirst.
219 · Mar 2017
pressure
Sweet talking delirium
Am I losing my composer
Or are these ancient spirits
truly drawing closer

Have I been given some key
Some formatted puzzle
Something to see
Beyond a rebuttal

Beyond some words that can be drawn false
219 · Jan 2017
inevu
From every scattered verse
To every driven hearse
It all but a domino

The affect is felt
The ripples melt
People either die or grow.

Time is spent
Find whats meant
You either stay or you go.
219 · Feb 2017
So Hate
I'm sick of ****, so wasted too
I'm ******* sick youth ****** by you.
I called the cab, who never came
At least before we were the same.

You get to sick you get to ****.
You get under my ******* skin.
Not like the drugs, the needles then
You take me over, i refuse to win.

I need release I need some peace
I need your love to ******* cease.
I'm tired here I'm wasted near
I need no love from you dear.

I'm sick of you. You call me too
Think I'm a friend, an enemy
I'm fed up with you. Just nice to you
I just don't want to be mean.
217 · Mar 2018
Procrastinate
Drymess edges to the back of my throat
I tried to find the spring.
All of the paths had begun to erode
mind just wasn't up to thinking.

We could have avoided this, had we prepared.
We could have lived
Now live's been ensnared.

Survival critical to play anymore
Second guesses were lost time
And I was ready to explore
But God ****** the mind.
216 · Sep 2018
Soul mate is just cliche.
Playful like your lips spitting words
that would be painful if you intended them to hurt
but you love me, because i show you your worth
And I need you cause your the only place on earth
I can go to when the noises get to loud
or I'm shaking, in the center of the croud
How you calm me, with just your sound
How you are me, and everything around.
216 · Feb 2017
U and I
You move in shades of thought
Exhilaration over comes me
You are the heart I've sought
Your flesh and mind succumb me.

I move to thoughts of you
An Angel and a Demon
You are every thing true
Electrolytes and *****

Similarity confines us
But i see differences too
Our Minds bind us
As we rub each other with glue

You are the savior and I am your wife
You speak through your behavior
I guide you in this life

I am the mother, you my sun
You are my brother
My everything and every one
A beautiful experience is spent on psychedelics with the person you trust the most.. Fear and self consciousness slowly begin to fade and you become one with your inner child and your inner demons.
216 · Jan 2018
Sand Cellophane
Sand paper and cellophane
You suffocate me
but there's n o
Pain.

Wrap me tightly
the wound can't breathe.
Just poke holes
before you leave.

Chaff my edges
Grind me down.
Softly now
Please n o
sound.


Just how I like
You package me
changing things
How you see.

Softening edges
adding curve
rougher texture
New things to learn.

Sand paper and cellophane
you change me
but there's n o
pain.
216 · Feb 2017
january didnt survive
This month could have been so stressful.
It could have been impressing.
January had the chance to be so beautiul.
A baby I could be dressing.
Regret is such a small word for the way I feel.
I can't believe this course in life, it doesn't feel quite real.
215 · Jan 2017
Empty
Blank space sits before me,
on the way to the tv or to the lamp.
Its there but I can see through it
I wave my hand to stir the static.
Nothing happens. Nobody Blinks.
Sparks jump like flint here and there.
They fly off my finger tips. Which are cold,
like my bones are mode of ice.
And then I can't stop popping my joints.

Where was I going with this, some place new hopefully.
Some where that my bones can easily melt into my flesh
and I can for once in my life reach relaxation.
A place often ignored by my body.
the base of my spine aches with tension
and I pray to every God there is for relief.
I worship every Idol and go on every journey.
I read every message in hopes of hearing it
Clearly for once.
In hopes of find the way, or a way or something
to hold to.
I know its all about my insides.
Like the kingdom is with in
They say that clearly enough.
But... I think My insides are missing...
214 · Feb 2017
WISH
I wish that you would love me, the way that i love you.
I wish you were sentimental and did the things i do.
I love all of the work you do and how you take care
Its just some times i feel like lifes not fair.
You pay my way and make me proud
please don't misunderstand
You make my heart pound
and I've given you my hand.
But I am a woman insecure
and this i know you know for sure.
So please love me babe like i love you.
Please do the things that i do.
214 · Apr 2018
Broken view
I stand horrified
at all the ugliness you glorified
at all the pain you try to hide
and all the stories you lied and lied
today I tearfully sigh at everything
Not sadly not joyfully
but tearfully.

My face reddens as I listen to the words of others.
Here the sound of the birds out side,
think of my dear friends and lover.
The tears will fall, i can not hide.

Have you ever just ... not thought at all

And in that moment felt a call

a deep panging with in your chest
a deep desire for a very deep rest.
A gull in  your throat, climbing out
emotion from your gut attempting to sprout.

Hot tears will roll and for no reason
You feel this emotion like you are aware of the season.
You know what it is, and that it will be leaving.

But in this moment, its forever and its real,
its the only thing touching you, the only thing you
Feel
213 · May 2017
Aging
I've been living in some strange world,
and I've been loving being your girl.
You've captured, such a beautiful thing here.

You love me don't you, its clear to me
i think I need you dont I, its easy to see.
You breathe, You breathe and you breathe

Dont choke.
Dont let go.
I want to watch you fade
into the snow...

Winters coming and its making a mess
The snow is freezing the hems of my dress
and I want you I need you I love you soo..

I am ready to watch you fade into the snow.
212 · Feb 2017
2.12.15
Satisfaction never quite so painful
as after I looked to you.

For satisfaction never seemed so evil
until you told me what to do.

Intravenously Intertwined,
You just couldn't let me lose my mind.

You could have left me.
If I went to sleep I would have died.
To think i was just resting my eyes.

So tired,
pain brings no rest.  
So wired,
helps me deal with it.

No trust I had none to give.

Collecting my tears in a cup,

collecting will to live.

But it evaportated just as easy as them.

and the drug devoured me limb by limb.
Stale and crunchy Past my date.
Bleeding from the core turning to hate.
Losing myself once more, now who is to create.

The face in the mirror could not be me.
Sunk in and tired, is this the fee?
I'm to used to being waund.  
I dont want her around,
Two me, Two me,
One of me I can not see.
And left for you to choose
which one of me will loose.
I'm still tired, I'm still wore.
My veins, are still, very very sore.
I'm so fragile to delicate to survive
So for just right now I need you to keep me alive.


I dont mind your wieght on my shoulders,
just dont let me get any colder.
212 · Feb 2017
Connection
Make me Your bark
Your branches and leaves
and be my roots
Which bring me life and peace.

You can relax lay upon the ground
And I can be the one that will hold you down.

Make me your ray
reaching into the sky
Fill me with your love
So that we can both fly

Move through my body
into my depths
Lay on the ground
So that you can rest.

I will cover you With my folds.
I will hold you Until we are old.

So make me your woman
Your love your desire
Make me your ladder
So that we both can climb higher.
212 · Sep 2017
Cherry picker
Your fingers sweet and tented red
you smell of trees and grass
you cherry picker picked  my heart
could love like this so last.

You skin burnt son, You hard hard day
You rest your cherry picking way.
You skin burnt son, You day is done
Rest you may rest you may
Rest your cherry picking way.

You pick your cherries from the tree
live this life like eternally
You cherry picking,  have picked me
live this life like eternity

You skin burnt son oh you wake me up
oh you make me up
oh you make such fun


You skin burnt sun of eternity
turn you cherry picking to me.



oh you skin burnt sun
oh you make such fun
oh you skin burn son
you make me up oh you make me one.

You  make me one
212 · Feb 2018
For my sweet husband
Down to the bone
I'm sure your skeleton will look beautiful
when one day we die
and a thousand moments pass us by
for eternity.

It makes me sick to think of your flesh suffocating
your blood clotting in your body
But it will
and my heart will die along with you.

Despite my daily composure
those 18 years lingering between us,
You my senior
jesus christ its agonizing.

At just now 21
and you just now 40.
at five years deeply inlove.
at five years inseperable
ever single day
with the laughter we share
and the compliments passed back and forth
and the moment
oh this perfect moment
in which we float
no time
no age
just you and I
eye to eye
face to face
equals
and then my thoughts fade.
and I dont worry so much
I dont hurt
at the thought
of you dying
and then some one dies.
and im reminded.
That 18 years
you my senior
and the idea
drains me.
212 · Apr 2017
Wedme
Dried flowers catch dust just like Archaic decoration

and You told me you loved me in a kind of declaration


I never wept for joy except for joyful pain

and you never told me anything good

Just made me question sane...
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