Seven seconds of the ray
seven colors all long day.
Seven spaces in between
Seven characters all one scene.

Tree trunk growth
In stretch then girth
What lies beneath un seen
Only those feathers protected
And beautiful
Glistening and gorgeous
Are displayed for the world to see.


But those uglier apendages
Those tentacle whites
Those bulging twists
Those dirt covered whiskers
Which search in the darkness with ease
For miles unseen...
They are hidden.
And exposed to the rays of the sun
They wood turn to dust.
But hidden in the filth
They sustain that which is beautiful
That which is seen
That which is offered to all.

I doused myself in gasoline
And set our bed on fire
Before I went to sleep
I told of my desire

The ashes are now
What we used to call comfort.
The flames dissappeared
Into a savior of some sort.

The springs are still glowing
The passion is dead
The drive to keep going
Was found in the bed.
And in me.
But I doused myself in gasoline.

I set the bed on fire

But before I went to sleep
I spoke of my desire.

Where is the center of me
In side tubing
Or clipped to the blinds?
Seizure sedation
Coma dream
I'm shaking my own crust
At a whim to escape.
Do you see with those eyes
Which looked disfigured
To my insecurities
My own temptations.

My failings say you are faulty
Can I accept we both have our
Trials.
And that intolerance of your blemishes
is fear of my own.

If this pressure is definite
Why does it sway my contractions.
How could I be so strong
to crush my body under my own tension.

I'm watered down.
Weaker than before
Not quite as concentrated
Not so focused.
Losing grip on what I want
And some how reaching out
And grabbing hard
For those things
That I hate.  
I had a dream I was gathering
Sticks
In my neighbors yard
He was a greedy blob.
So I had no mercy on his
Pig brains.

Further more what are you doing to mine?  
God please don't waste my time
My thoughts are like post it's  
Scattered along my bed room wall
All the things to remember
All the people to call
And the books to read
The things to learn.
How much time to smoke ****
How much time to yearn
When's my next cigarette
How long since I ate
How's the kitchen look
I've been staying up to late. . .

Where in this exactly is the mind
I can not see I must refine.