in the end, it doesn't matter. it'll always be the memory of the one who got away that clouds your judgement and ruins your conscience. the one who destroyed the word love for you. the one who made everyone else meaningless.
as dreadful as it sounds, you crave that hurt because it's so much better than feeling nothing at all. even though, you cry yourself to sleep and try to numb the pain in any way you can. you want to feel, then you long for the numbness that leaves you when you do. -hvj

the clouds looked like they were suspended there by strings. and you were the puppet master for this show. you called all of the shots and there was nothing that I, as a simple puppet, could do. you were hypnotic, mesmerizing me as I followed your every instruction as you moved your hands about. that's all that it took; a simple hand movement. I couldn't stop myself, I really couldn't help it. I had no choice but to fall into your every word and trust that every action you performed was for me. my heart. my soul. my well being. however, you were truly only putting on a show. it was for audiences' entertainment. it was never for me, or even remotely about me. you then retired from your position as a puppet master and moved on. as you have left me sitting on this shelf, I am tortured by her presence in your life. yet I am but a puppet, your puppet, and I cannot seem to break this spell. if only I were like Pinocchio. maybe if I were a real girl, you'd love me too. -hvj

the tie dye sky could hold thousands of us. people like us, wishing only to create something more beautiful than ourselves and what we are. we only want to breathe in the universe and take our interpretation of it as an art form. we are artists and we deserved to be loved. loved like the deserts and the oceans and the mountains and everything in between. we deserve to be loved like the people love the California sunshine. you can be my California. you can be my hopes and dreams. I only ask that you don't go ripping at the seams. I don't believe in true love but I believe in soulmates and as far as I'm concerned, you're mine. so play your music and let's travel into the deepest crevices of our minds as we attempt to figure each other out, only mildly surprised when we find that we cannot. after all, what's the point in understanding something as beautiful as each other? -hvj

In the depths of my mind, I'm stuck somewhere between being a major part of the universe and have several galaxies inside of me, and being such a small part of the universe that I do not matter at all. I'm constantly making the journey back and forth, from new ideas to old ones, never really settling on one. Not on any of them, really. And it is here that I find myself most often making a journey from one thought about you to the next, wishing I could spend more time there. Oh how I long for and would love so very much to stay there longer. You've begun to get caught up in my thoughts and ideas, ranging from the stars to the moon and the center of the earth, all the way back out to the ends of the Milky Way galaxy. It is within these travels that I start to wonder if you're really even worth thinking about. If you won't give me the time of day, I should not be spending hours cradled in the presence of those eyes that look like oceans or the sound of your thick accent as it rolls off your tongue ever so gracefully. I should not be thinking of how the stars seemed to be twinkling in your eyes as you looked at me. Or how your teeth glistened like the ever so shiny pearls fancy women wear around their necks on every occasion. I should be thinking of how the sun shine feels in the summer time or how beautiful the sky looks. Instead I'm just stuck here; thinking of you and all your beauty. -hvj