i hate those nasty little ***** of advertisement
that i get on facebook
about melting off my belly fat in "JUST DAYS!"
they show skeleton frames
and expect me to believe
that this is
pretty
right
healthy
correct
wanted
they are trying to teach me
like i learned
as a child
say a word,
show a picture
she will learn,
they say
i fear
that they are
right

you told me i am a touch of heaven
and i said everyone is a touch of heaven
you said no
i said yes,
you just have to
dig it up sometimes

you told me that i am the only good thing in this world
i say
if i am the only good thing
this world is total ****
and that's not true.
it looks like it sometimes
but we spend a lot of time
not looking at it right

you keep telling me you love me
and i keep saying
you're such a sweetheart
because those other words
won't come out of the pit in my stomach

you say
i shouldn't have waited
if god cared he would come down and school us
i say that he does
we're just a bunch of highschoolers who'd rather **** around
than listen

A brand new lock
in my hand the key
No longer home
just leave me be
The lights are off
this abode looks empty

Am I a prisoner or am I free?

Picked up the welcome mat
barred the doors
got a guard dog waiting
on the living room floor
No soliciting sign
for those peddling ******

opportunity wont be knocking
for you anymore.

i opened a text
and then i cried
today.

because the "heeeey :)"
that my bestfriend sent me
isn't a
"let me see
if you're ok"
it's a
"please watch my kid so i can hang out with my boyfriend."

and i
know that you're really happy
that he's made you really happy
but i am so unhappy
and you don't even know
because you don't even ask
you only text me last
minute
and you know
i'll do it
i always do it
because i want you to be happy
but sometimes i want to
be happy
too.

sitting in the living room
on the wooden floor
staring
at
the wall.
alone.
echo-y house,
sleeping cats.
listen to the cars roll by out the window
look at your toes
painted blue.
try not to panic.
run your fingers through your hair
look at the strands
that come off
in your fingers
only three or four this time
not too bad
but how long
will it last
your pretty red hair
that makes you worth something
will it all fall out?

mothers are better at killing children
than bringing them into
this world
she broke me
and left me
a tired little girl.

When I was 16 I almost drowned
I swallowed enough water to sink
Any ambitions to become a sailor
The water tasted a lot like my pride
It left an after taste bitter enough
To humble a King

What we take from the world
Is simply a reflection of
Who we are inside
If you feel like the sun is avoiding you
Like your ex-girlfriend
Then visit the dentist and make your smile
Bright enough to get by
The crowded streets of downtown
Aren’t filled with inept *******
Just you, who isn’t willing to see
That everyone has pain in their eyes
No matter how well they disguise
Their recent demise with ties and lies
Bought online

We fall into the chasm of doubt
That high-fives gravity because
They got you to fall
Change who you are and you’ll
Literally change your world
Because everything reflects
Our character instead of our appearance
Except for cursed glass that
Became a mirror

When you’re tempted to doubt
The goodness of life
Remember that life is what you make it
When God writes your conclusion
To your life’s dissertation
It will simply be a story
Of the dreams you had the courage
To chase

You have nothing to fear
Not even fear itself
Because you are the owner
Of happiness and peace
Enough for yourself if you’re
Willing to share

When I was 16 I almost drowned
I was resuscitated and spit out
My pride and coughed up my ego
To breath in the world
Through unbiased purity
Now I can finally see
I left that ignorant part of me
To fend for himself
I was never a good swimmer

i think i’m in love with you. You have a nice smile, no, nice is a ****** adjective. you have a smile like slow-twisting clouds above the line of dawn, it tears me apart in the best possible way. You make me unable to focus on anything on a continual basis. You

should come over. please?. Someday, i'll stop being so sad. i hope you realise it'll probably be because of you. You + me = well, we could merge escapist tendencies and get out of here, if you'd like.

If i saw you now i’d kiss you. no, i say that, but i’d probably just look at you and say nothing and wish i could say... everything, but all i want is to see you, i want to just smile at you, mainly i want to kiss you. i

would build an ocean, just

for you. If i could sing you any song it would be untitled, like all the rest of them.

We could curl up in blankets and ignore everything else, except one another’s eyes, under the stars.

Love,
sad little tom

(P.S. just try to be happy, ok?.)

*((P.P.S. try to realise how ******* wonderfully i feel about you though, ok? my tongue is a knot, but i really do. next time i see you, i'll tell you. promise. x))

Silver*

is a lot like the night when the gentle moonlight shone through my windows
and I swore it was perfect for a slow dance —
those kind of dances when you feel every molecule of your twirling and swaying;
those kind of dances when you dance to your own music –
legato and occasional staccatos during moments
when you close your eyes and feel the world beneath your feet skip to your beat;
those kind of dances you swore that you could win the title “best dancing couple”
even if you were dancing alone
because your best accompaniment is often yourself.
Silver is a lot like when we wished on that 1111 moment together and
you said you wished for me to be happy,
it may have just been a simple wish but
it sent this tingling feeling down my spine
and I could feel my heart thumping (lub dub lub dub),
pumping the pure essence of happiness into my veins.
Silver is a lot like the day when we first met,
when our eyes first met in this 2 second glimpse
that made the little butterflies in my stomach go crazy.
It’s what I remember my dreams to be.
Sprinkled with glitter
and how I woke up to the freshness of the previous night.
Silver is watching darkness engulf the place where I took a little stroll,
I remembered the crickets chirping to the dampness of the air,
I remembered how the wind caressed my face with it’s soft touch,
I remembered the trickling of the river water
which carried with it so much potential and brilliance.

I remember.