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 May 2013 Haley Rezac
JM
If I
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
JM
am not kissing you
within five seconds
of seeing your eyes
in shared sunlight,
then the earthworms
will swarm to our
feet and by seven seconds
our tongues will touch
and the universe will
stop holding it’s breath,
knowing our time has begun.
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
E B
I don't know how to write
of someone who has given
me so much when I have given
so little in return so I will say only

I hope you are happy, today and always
and I hope you can forgive my
every little *****-up: now and in the future.

I love you more than I have ever shown
and more than I have ever felt
and more than you have ever known.
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
Redshift
hm.
it's may 7th,
isn't it?
12:01am
on the dot.
i forgot...
today is my birthday
today i am twenty
years
old
and i don't
feel a thing.
i am often alarmed
frightened
confused
by my lack of feeling
and everyone says
it has something to do
with depression
hell,
i don't know.

i always used to get
some little tingle
some little thrill
of excitement...
it's my birthday!!!
i'd think...
even last year
the first year
without mom
without anything
normal
i still felt
something...
but there is
nothing.
in fact
i would have forgotten
if some random *** girl
i haven't talked to in two years
hadn't just texted me
happy birthday...

...happy birthday,
littleredwritinghood...
maybe this year you'll get what you want
i'd really enjoy
some arsenic
this time around
i wonder what death feels like
maybe i'll actually feel something
for
once
i guess it's worth a shot
god, i feel like ****. i think.
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
E B
From this day forward, I promise that I
will wake up every morning and say to myself
these simple but important things:

a.
Today will be fragile
and the worst thing that could happen
is that it all comes crashing down.

But if it does, you'll have all these
little cracked pieces to kick around and
that's always fun and you know you're so
easily amused, aren't you?

Today will be very, very fragile
and by opening your eyes right now,
you're adding one more crack to the ones
that already exist, but guess what?

The worst thing that could happen is that
it all comes crashing down at your feet.

b.
There are people who need you.
Beautiful, wonderful people who should
be able to stand on their own, but they can't
because they're just as afraid as you are.

They've got dreams and fears just like you
(and they probably don't realize this, but
the same way they're leaning on you,
you're leaning on them and if either of you
lets go, you're both gonna fall and then where
will you be? I'll tell you: you'll be twice as broken
and three times as hurt as you were before.)

There are people who need you, I'll say,
beautiful, wonderful people,
the same ones who keep you sane and
should be able to support themselves but
they can't because unfortunately they're just as afraid as you are.

And it's your job to make them unafraid because no one
deserves the pain that you are in, not even you, no matter how
much you think that there's a reason for all that you feel.

c.
Good morning, beautiful.

Today you are a butterfly who cannot see
how beautiful her wings really are and
today you are a soldier fighting everything that
could possibly stand in your way and
today you will not frown or cry or feel like
everything is wrong because nothing really is.

Today you are more beautiful than you've ever thought
(although not quite as beautiful as you could be) and
more loved than you've ever really been
(although not as loved as you will be in the future) and
more intelligent than you've ever dreamed
(although not as intelligent as you used to be)
and all of that's okay, because all that matters is right now.

And today you may meet someone who will change your life
or today you may find someone who wants to hold your hand
or today you may make someone's day or save a life and you never know.

Good morning, beautiful, I'll say,
Go out there and make something
extraordinary
happen.
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
Redshift
my dad bought me
a subwoofer
and speakers
for my laptop
as a birthday gift...
my brain
is being smashed
against the side of my skull
repeatedly
with the waves
of bass
that are coming off this thing
sorry, neighborhood.
:D!!!!!!
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
Redshift
yesterday
i found out
my mom sold my dog
and chopped down the tree
that my brothers and sisters and i
spent our whole lives playing under.
my little sister
gave me a sawed chunk
of the Big Tree
to remember it by
everything in my life
is a sawed chunk
a ****** piece
of something bigger
that once was all mine
and whole
and perfect...
mom,
i'd rather have
the ******* tree
i guess she doesn't stop at ruining lives. she goes the whole nine yards and ruins perfectly good ******* landscape, too.
 May 2013 Haley Rezac
Redshift
you spent an hour
showing me your coin collection
and i
obediently examined each one
carefully...
smiled
exclaimed
wondered.

you said you'd drive me home
but you
missed my street
the street that your bestfriend
you've had since a kid
also lives on
(what are the chances???)
you
laughed it off
drove me around
in the sweet
warm night
windows down
wind spiced with summer
blowing in our faces
music up
till we could feel it in our chests
for an hour...

then you talked to me
in my driveway
for another
thirty minutes
engine turned off
the peepers and crickets
singing through our open windows...

i think i
like
you
I would contain it in a bottle
with dead leaves
to remind you
that some time in the past

we're breathing,
inhaling each other's gasps.
That before withering,
we have lived everything we could.
~Lacus Crystalthorn
I love the rush of blood
Whenever you're around.
Stay close
And touch me.
You've awaken my senses.
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