Haley Rezac: Favorites

May 2013 Haley Rezac

rained-on parade

I could take care of you-- I can make up your bed,
make up your mind; I could colour the sky from blue to gray--
not because you are sad but because it is your favourite colour.
I could do the math, hold up the papers, read to you at night.
I would come and comfort you when you cannot sleep.
Draw the curtains to wake you.
Fix you where you are broken; I’ll use the perfect words.
I can make you smile; I could lie on the floor with you
and create dust angels and then hold your hand and watch
the world around us gently fall apart.

I would, because I love you.

May 2013 Haley Rezac

Break

May 2013 Haley Rezac

Teresa Kay Dockery

Break

I don’t think it takes much to fall in love 
Sweet whispers of cute nothing’s 
dance through your head 
because some fool
 spoke a new language to you 
and every word  was magic  
and with every word  you fell 
and your heart  began to love his voice
 And the simple smile 
that shines in his eyes  
like the stars at night  
and only a few see it 
because most are asleep  when the stars are awake  and soon the stars twinkle at you 
and you fall 
The way his hand  made you feel  like the dust  dancing in the sunlight  
light as air
and  full of simple beauty  
and with his touch  you fell 
And by now it’s too late
 because you fell for his
 voice 
smile
 eyes  and touch 
Love 
but for you darling  I hope it doesn’t happen often
 because to have it once forever
 is much better  than millions of times  
if you fall too much 
you’ll eventually break

May 2013 Haley Rezac

In Case You Were Wondering About My Day

May 2013 Haley Rezac

E B

In Case You Were Wondering About My Day

I.
My best friend just texted asking
if Anne Frank was a real person or
just a character in a story.

I cannot help but laugh because
I know she is smarter than I am
and it's quite laughable that she would
ask such a question as if it were nothing.

Maybe she's having a blonde moment,
although her hair hasn't been blonde since
it started growing back a few years ago.

Chemo's a *****, yet all she does is smile.

II.
The boy who was almost mine looks at me
with kind eyes and a sweet smile and we laugh
like there was never any kind of awkward situation
between the two of us months ago.

He's probably got her on his mind and I've got
myself on mine for the first time in a while and everything
seems beautiful the way it used to be before it all.

And he covers my eyes with his hands and we laugh
and I am much too happy to miss the way things used to be
because I am much too content with how things are.

Moving on's a *****, and yet all we do is smile.

III.
The boy who wanted so badly to be mine walks
down the hallway holding hands with someone else
and they laugh and talk and smile, so happy to be together.

And I am happy for him, because I have no time or energy
to be jealous of something that was never mine to begin with.

He does not speak to me
and I do not care because I realize
that everything is beautiful today
and so am I, for once.

Because life's only a ***** if you are.

Kind of my first response to my poem "Good Morning, Beautiful," the poem I posted last night. I recited the poem to myself this morning and told myself today would be a good day and, lo and behold, it was one of the best I've had in a while. And the best part is, there was no huge thing that made it wonderful. It was just simply a good day.

Well, I hope all of you had wonderful days as well, beautiful people! I love you all! :)

May 2013 Haley Rezac

Waking Up

May 2013 Haley Rezac

E B

Waking Up

I grow tired and place my head
down in his lap, looking up at him.
I worry how he will receive this action
but there is nothing to worry about because
he smiles at me as if this were our normal routine.

And to my surprise, he leans down over me
and he kisses my forehead sweetly,
just the way he used to when he was almost mine.
And even more surprising, he leans down again
and kisses my forehead again
and then again
and then once more.

All around there are murmurs of confusion
as no one has seen us this way in a while
but we pay them no mind because we
are stuck in this moment in time.

--
He grows tired and places his head
down upon my lap, looking up at me.
He does not worry how I will receive this action
because everything is too perfect for words right now
and this used to be our normal routine.

And not much to his surprise, I run my fingers
through his hair, tracing over paths I memorized
so very, very long ago.

And I feel myself compelled to lean down and
kiss his lips, but I don't because something is
different, strange, wrong about this situation.

I cannot decide what it is and I do not care
because I have him here and everything is beautiful.

And just before I lean down to press my lips to his,
He is gone and I?
I have opened my eyes.

And I think to myself with a smile,
*what a wonderful dream.

Just kind of needed to write about it, I guess?

May 2013 Haley Rezac

You: 3; Me: 2

May 2013 Haley Rezac

E B

You: 3; Me: 2

Today you came back.
Just like old times,
you said with a smile.

Seeing you across the table
the way you used to be,
I was forced to remember
that at that table, you and I
used to share glances and hugs
and smiles and stolen moments.

I was forced to remember the way
it rained on that very first day back at the
start of January and we were forced
to stand because the tables were all wet.

I was forced to remember how you'd
held me in your arms and wouldn't let go
and I was forced to remember how I really
didn't want you to at all.

I was forced to remember how we were
everybody's ever after, everybody's meant to be
and nobody's disappointment except our own.

And then I was forced to acknowledge the words
that have been hanging on the tip of my tongue.
All this time I've thought of saying them, but then you
would know the truth and I couldn't let that happen.

All this time I've wanted to say,
I miss him being here, with us
laughing and joking, sharing his smile
and his music and his dreams.
I miss him being here, making things
interesting, amusing us all and me
especially.

And I contemplated telling someone
but I feared you would find out.

I'm glad you came back for today.
I hope you don't leave again too soon.
And for making me admit this,
I guess this round goes to you.

You know you guys love me,
you said smiling.
Sometimes, I said sarcastically.
Sometimes, you repeated with a smile.

Still keeping score. The other "You; Me" poems are in my poems list :).

May 2013 Haley Rezac

lucid dreams and other things

May 2013 Haley Rezac

E B

lucid dreams and other things

He's interested in dreams,
the ones where everything is
so vivid and easily explained.

I'm obsessed with dream catchers
because they're beautiful and have
some sort of meaning whether or not
you believe in "evil spirits" or "nightmares"
or "heartbreak" or "reality."
You know, made up things like that.

He writes them down in a little book
and they have funny names and interesting
plot lines and there are some of them I am not
allowed to read and I don't know if that's because
he's hiding them from me or if they are just too personal.

I really should not be wondering if I was ever
in one of his more recent lucid dreams,
if he'd kissed my lips behind his eyes,
if he'd held me tight while he consulted with the Sandman,
if I was his when all the lights were out.

I really should not be wondering if I was ever
in one of his favorite lucid dreams.
*But it would be nice to know.

May 2013 Haley Rezac

I'm tired and there is no sugar in my house

May 2013 Haley Rezac

JM

I'm tired and there is no sugar in my house

I'm sick of writing *******
angst fueled piles of
**** poems about how much
I think about stupid *******
and how I sickly miss their sadistic
tendencies exercised upon my
unsuspecting psyche.

I write of greys and nothings
and try to create murky landscapes
because I'm ******* bored and high
and I know that kind of ****
resonates with some of you creepy *******.

I wrote so many ******* poems for her,
for you, dearest.
So many poems I thought you would see
how much I love you, how much I would give all of myself.
For nothing.
I told you no the other day,
after not hearing from you for months.
That twisted my guts but I asked
my sister what to do and she is
one of the few creatures with a ******
I trust.

I'm sick of reading other peoples
**** of lost love and broken hearts
and **** gone wrong and he loves
her but she likes ***** and *******
empty heads smashing empty hearts
and abuse and neglect and so many
******* gut wrenching tales of woe
it makes me sad to be a part of this..
pathetic conglomeration of fools, humans.

Sure, there is some positive **** out there,
but even that makes me want to puke.
I'm envious and doubtful, cynical and jaded.

I want to believe my one is out there,
but I'm not getting any prettier
or any smarter
and I have grown weary of
even trying to try.

I'm tired and ******
and I just want a soft
sweet smelling pile of flesh
next to me rubbing my
temples and whispering in my ear
stories of bugs and latex body paint
and what dress she is going to wear
for me.

****.

I'm tired of writing poems like this
and I'm tired of reading poems like this
and I only want a sweet dripping ***** on my face.
I never claimed to be a poet.

May 2013 Haley Rezac

drowning fish

May 2013 Haley Rezac

Redshift

drowning fish

today
the entire world
was five minutes late for class.
i elbowed,
clawed,
tore my way
through the throng
lay gasping
like a drowning fish
on the doorstep
of psychology class.
you all need to get watches,
*******

i actually had a good reason, i swear.