she posted a note

I wrote this for a Irioc vet's wife it wasn't what she said this was my interputation when she said you don't know me you only know what I let you know to me it was a person hurting trying to be tough



Telling

The telling by night and day she stands in the dark glen her
Thoughts and troubles make the surroundings turn from airy to thermo brooding dark and mastic a
Black stallion stands near with its hostile significance obvious as a nightmare colt now full grown it paws
The ground deep and wildly like her own thoughts the night changes from different shades of black as
She reels in the tumult that varied troubles bring the wind begins to rise the branches begin a violent
Torrent of complaint great torment is displayed outward calm belies the war within how quickly time
Changes things long ago in another time and place blue and white clouds could be seen through the
Blazing foliage an aura highlighted splendor tinged all elements that were in conscious view the black
Stallion was replaced by the grey gentle even the face gave wonderful expressive peacefulness its stance
Was as if it gave an outline to mellow you could see her standing as in an arching trellised gate blossoms
Now gently blow where before only thorns gleamed as lighting flashed and you could see in her eyes a
Wounded soul that had to bear up under sudden hardship not the kind you grow into but that which
You Are thrown into you have to leap to your feet and try to convince all onlookers you have control
While actually you are just a little terrified girl that must make great strides to become a woman of
Empowered senses the war front defenses are made now in the living room not in far away scarred
Lands soldiers are trained women are the soft spirits that must learn to make armor from brokenness
That is well fitted and enduring while she is the lone sentential in an emotional fragmented world you
Will find love is the greatest weapon in this hidden world where illusion of peace mocks openly but
Freedom is the stronghold of those that love peace and fair play for all.

This was written before the death of Bin Laden it is an indictment against brazen Godless conduct it
deserves to be reread at the end I take up what I saw in the spirit when I looked on the Jordanian pilot

The Flame of Blessing

America’s warriors face dangers untold in a country unlike our own where violent war is a way of life
In evils caldron that burns with natural order hate, teaching laced with poison and ****** is honorable
This can only thrive in a society that kills truth and then in falsehood their black robes invite all strife
Chaos butchery all manner of anarchy is used to try to subdue a people’s God given right to be free
Our troops in one way or another are set to burning Miss Liberty is in their hearts although latent
All that is needed to cause liberty’s flame to blaze is put these blessed ones in contact with tyranny
Every insult and criticism is leveled at the U.S. we need improvement but let evil show and be blatant
Ordinary kids from American streets will rise the last thing you will see is freedom blazing in their eyes
Black hearts are tuff pushing the weak and there fanaticism pretends at being brave every bully’s trait
These cannot be reasoned with madness has one cure annihilation this fight not for the faint hearted
The enemy needs a history lesson Tara, Iwo Jima; Omaha beach a brother hood reborn gun barrel strait
You posses by ideology penned by hell’s most convincing liar we come bearing truth then arms
God’s shadow first then Miss Liberty looms then the unquenchable prayers of a nation they pray for you
Peace, tranquility is worth our sacrifice you are left with a tattered rag a soiled flag marred by carnage
To bleed, true honor the making of a house of arms it will succeed in all war and conflict peace to accrue
We take God given might temper it with mercy and justice for all we are not timid in freedom’s fight
This is the my candle burning


but when I looked upon the
Jordanian pilot I saw the epitome of innocence a softness that melted the bars he was already free
before they set the flame it was to be an act that would shame him the flames were consumed by
glory a soul reaching the zenith of freedom he joined a very rare and select group martyred
instantly he grew in stature to embody all of his people forever he is part of their hearts and
minds as long as they are a people he will be at the forefront beyond life but ever close when
principal and ideals are spoken you need not to look any farther than this hero this man of dignity
and honor that put truth before personnel safety to state the importance that can never be extolled
enough all that I hold dear is confined in the border of my country it holds my God my family
the one cause that cannot be trifled with it is too dangerous and crucial to all public life

Hands of infinite filth closed the cage door in doing so they chained themselves to dishonor and
eternal damnable flames but for this soul now condemned a transformation took place the distant  
pure waters of Jordan were splashing down his head and face with refreshing on the inside his
country sent fresh breezes filled with thanks and prayers of love for their native son who he was
before was changed in this hour of trial any and all errors of thought and action fell away being
replaced by resplendent glory I have over a life time seen innumerable sights in nature and in
people but this lovely man rose above them all it was telling he possessed an admirable
countenance he stepped over his previous linage into the royal house he beamed a silent
resoluteness it was pure vibrancy they didn’t take his soul when he climbed into that cockpit he
gave it to all that was dear and just but what of them this best describes their sick malevolent
existence Voltaire was a rampant Godless atheist he loved the role his whole life how he spoke
and wrote  with such joy but at death he jumped from his death bed he looked across the room
and with terror almost inaudible he said I hear chains and they are for me the Devil brings them
to bind me forever these men turned to mongrel mad dogs will soon have the same end what
fools and what a man of untold courage forever he will be extolled as a man for peace and
justice

Sadly this generation is more familiar with the death star depicted in Star Wars please let me try to
Change your mind the need for this is the war with terror an uncertain future for sure if you are
Only speaking in terms of a natural future it is dismal at best many are turned off by the true
Facts that this world is owned by a singular person that’s because your view is distorted by
Darkness languid stagnation you need to go to the edge of the universe meet the wonder of
Wonders a spectacle will leave you spellbound and speechless draw near and feel the verve
And Pulse of all light see Victoria Falls Niagara Falls but let them equal the globe in size their
Depth and breadth circles the known world instead of water envision light colors so distinctive
Ruby red Emerald green Sapphire blue just to name a few dazzling to the point of confusion in
Other words your minds grasp is exceeded introspection will be piercing the most mundane
Streets of dusty villages before thought not worth the time will reveal secrets swells of joy will
Carry you on their wings you will never view the world the same true dreams will knit
Distortions that are a plague and a Bain they have been fostered in every corner your childlike
Innocence will be restored you will find love that you think no longer exist all that ensnare the
Human community is revealed openly harnessing the light of the morning will realign and give a
True fix so much of life lies in shambles and in ruin with a clear head you will advance and not
Stumble the vexation of death will be transformed shadows will flee away a new day awaits
Pains sorrows will be accredited with unseen value no longer struggling through the mist but
Clarity will give way to adventure you will begin the climb ascend to great heights yes duty will
Still be in play but it won’t be drudgery that will be replaced with thrills stimulation you venture
Forth as kings and queens mapping your great domain anything less is insulting to you and the
Morning Star I will leave you with this so many words are spoken in this life but three are worth
More than all the rest they are of eternal significance they are I made it!

Jesus now I know in a small way how you feel about your missing loved ones thank you for my wife’s sister’s visit. My wife brought her through the door the smile my wife had is beyond compare. That has to be the look you have when one of your lost ones decides to follow you and you bring them in from all mean and dangerous paths that caused them pain, sorrow without end you fretted as any loving parent but more so because you know all that will befall them.

I was given a taste of your distraught state of mind my wife and Mary were just going to the adjacent city it was to be ladies night out. I returned expecting them to be waiting what I found is a small comparison the home empty deadly silent it has to be like so many churches the saints don’t understand why everything is so quiet an empty first the lost are still lost why doesn’t Jesus move and bless any movement is him wrenching his hands as he heads for the door do you forget his word I will leave the ninety nine that are safe and search for the one lost sheep. I called my wife’s name only the silence reverberated then in anguish I shouted knowing it was useless but my mind didn’t care about what made sense. I rushed to the elevator seeing a sister from church I was sure my booming panic filled voice had startled her we both had a question mine have you seen Ann hers you’re not going out in this storm yes I’m seeking two loved ones that I know are in trouble they could be anywhere hurt scared or worse they hadn’t called and left a message The police was at church Brad didn’t say anything I left the elevator quickly went o the front door asked John if he had seen my wife and her sister because they had been going out in the front his no answer was as bad as the flooded streets the panic and fear crashed into my heart sending me reeling. I did tell him if he met up with them that I had gone looking for them.

The storm was only getting worse it matched my emotions the street was deepening even covering up the head lights on the oncoming cars reduced to a snail pace when my heart was racing I wanted to have the car going as fast all I could see was getting the car flooded and then become stranded then any semblance of control would be gone. As each car passed I looked to see if it was the color of their car I left the city limits started to the other town when I finally saw the color that matched theirs when I did get turned around there was a car and a semi behind them back through the same flooded street now I’m really pushing my luck the water was even deeper I had to trail the three the truck the most concern because I couldn’t see the car and then hope they had to turn down our street they didn’t turn it didn’t help Mary turned when she first got to town after already getting here she went fourteen miles more the wrong way when I got behind them and was following I could swear my wife was the passenger but with the head lights I could see it was a convertible so I continued back home and when I blared on the horn what a sight when they came to the window. My heart and mind regained composure not so for Jesus he is still on a stormy sea black as Satan’s heart trying to reach you all power on your vessel of self is gone you can’t make it to a safe harbor you are perishing as mentioned saints and sinners are missing one another in the greatest challenge we can and will ever face. Plenty are the obstacles and that includes life’s hectic pace it troubles that are without end but in the center of it all self the Devil and evil are winning the battle for your immortal soul cry out to him he listens with intense purpose his only goal is to find you he isn’t distracted playing the get ahead game or fighting to hold on to what is already so important or in your mind it is all is going to be burned only spiritual realities will survive do you want a portfolio that matches the rich man oh foolish man tonight your soul is required then who will this belong to. Just one more to rush in and tie himself to a sinking ship as the rescue ship pulls alongside reach for my hand no I can save the ship and myself is the dying words of one self deceived the hands bare the marks of nails that are reaching for you believe he who never lied and be rescued by loves greatest story for you it lives alone so you can have a heavenly home.

Do you walk in a desert the howling wind finds no rest within your tortured breast. The desert scrub can host many realities sadness scraped raw the only comfort rub the wound with desert sand pray its warmth will reach deeper give the hint of comfort long lost on a soul finding it hard to remember kindness and its affects. You wanted only what everyone wants comfort and fulfillment but you have found these have elusive qualities almost ghost like never lasting longer than fleeting moments. Will the road wind filled with expectation only to end in senseless nothingness. How many times can you smile through the tears get up and start again why not change your identity maybe the gods that have it in for you will be fooled give you the blessings that are common to so many. This is not what your day dreams envisioned who ever questioned or dared to think up these black mortifications. You look for a hand to guide but only find those that prize themselves and forget you leaving you even more lost than before. The edges of despair crowd in your mind swirls is their not a promised land for people like me. Maybe a move would be in order a new beginning surely a fresh start will win the day where did I hear that somewhere in the land of the truly delusional you find when yet again you find life shows its power to roll and out of nowhere unseen upheaval throws you for a hard spill. Now you find a veritable waste land but yours is city streets trash strewn among those that walk with empty stares. The hearts silently bleed the well where tears once were formed filled with debris still the echo can be heard from childhood laughter was it that terribly long ago. As it happens on those blessed occasions was it real or a dream you have enjoyed the pleasure of Christmas and the green fir trees that fill the local lots the scent that drifts from room to room the little wild thing setting there all aglow gives the sweetest thrill. What is a blue spruce in my mind I followed this rutted road through the forest green and the mist had settled insulating every living thing with vibrancy this the most wondrous scene the forest truly gleams. Stand among the towering giants what a hush you are bombarded by the silence you are in the greatest ease a freefall into this quietude quiet breathing is all that is heard as wonder destroys every vesture of disquiet and alarm. Your vision intensifies as this endless pleasure mounts your soul grows its edges that were raggedly torn now renewed fully healed. What a fortress this stand of trees a thousand enemies could never surmount this pure airy wood not a king here stands but a poor beggarly soul has found the greatest ****** land bequeathed by nature’s bountiful generosity in any direction even the lofty height held with sterling sites this never could be bought even gold bows its self down to this sacred grove diamonds and emeralds fair no better their worth seems undignified here. The question arises does this place exist a great English writer wrote of the cathedral in the pine yes both places exist the sadness described in the beginning and this wondrous place a wonderful preacher related this story of a blue spruce he encountered in years long gone by it was different than just the run of the mill blue spruce you usually found he inquired of the nursery owner about the shape and color. He was told this one has been grafted by this means it never loses its rich blue color. The point was we need to be grafted into the true vine. The most important guide post to finding this glorious life while on earth is follow the sacred text that says if you truly desire truth on the inward parts you will find it. Many doors are marked holy and blessed but after entering you find only the tormented false ideas of self important men. He is the door and those that enter there will set among angels and the life of the blue spruce will be yours not inferior given to fading to lonely darkened gray but vibrant hues of azure blue your home in that blessed promise laughter and joy your possession forever more.

In this savage land we call home
There is a pastoral valley that has the richest texture of heaven
This treasured sheep gate becons tenderly says welcome
These hills and slopes the repository of our hopes
The savior poised in their gentle steeps, for the city weeps
Sweet spirit that fills this natural expanse soft as the breeze
Each tired weary soul you refresh with a quiet hush
We are shown the wisdom of not being in a rush
Unseen pillars tower revealing your mighty power
Written on the pillars at the world side is come unto me
On the church side seek the lost at any cost
The Devil expresses defiance the church makes Heaven her alliance
Wayward souls tormented seeking an oasis dying of thirst
Today we fill these pots of clay and determine to go out of our way
Seeking those that hunger and thirst by this Christ we manifest
To the world the church is ghostly not completely visible
It shimmers as though it isn’t real blindly they feel about
In your life they find solid ground clear of the mist
They finish a terrible journey now they feed from all their needs freed
No longer exhausted from continually milling about
The Sheppard stands holy watch and cast a confidant shadow
In this respite feeding and richly nourished they grow strong
Gladness quietly cascades from spiritual hills of splendor

I dreamed of an unequal avenue it was splendor manifested before only winged creatures
Enjoyed this freedom tree lined lanes have and always afford peace through the wonder of
Shade and shadow a pleasant flow that is all absorbing the stillness gently pulls reflective
Moods from the soul but this was of the soaring kind it held all the aforementioned affects but
With the privileged thrill of being eighty feet high every attending thought that concerns trees
Was in play but here was profound solitude private stimulation and it stretched as far as the
Eye could see the tree tops bowed toward one another making a ceiling like no other it drew
The power of earth and heaven giving harmony taste and class burgeoning on the spiritual I
Even perceived it as a cathedral that only nature could create the line of trees were its walls
Twenty five feet from this roofed expanse was the floor each tree on both sides reached across
Such a sight of generosity and unity immovable and powerful your feet truly floated down this
Isle of admiration your thoughts wistful colossal every tree continued to give its raw power on
The ground you gave over to the thought and order of being small here you were elevated
Mentally you were this wonder this master a heady being all the confusion that once plagued is
Gone now replaced by a formable grasp your breath draws in and it is as all this oxygen is
Converted to enriched blood that explodes in the mind you instantly distil long troubling facts
Into reasonable conclusions a sweep of inspiration is used to attain the fundamental steps to
Gain new stature made possible when pretense dissolves in these skyward realms and
Imperceptibly almost the mist rises with mystery at its center at the edges it favors the spirit
Collectively it announces a new era dearest Jenn this is your new reality you are standing on the
Threshold contempt and pain behind and before you your soul feels this immense feeling of
Well being the mind bends and stretches to keep in step the very air you breathe is intoxicating
It’s not just traces of love that before was so scares it only made the heart bleed and yearn for
More now a flood carries you forth exhilarating is an understatement all desires of your heart
Are completely satisfied your spirit hangs down weighted by such fullness you have come to the
Fountain empty you leave care free with an abiding joy unforgettable this is just a small degree
Of how it feels to meet Christ just think what lies ahead bless you I’m going to share this that
others can share what’s happening to you