I never thought it would hurt this much,
seeing the world pass,
people smiling and living,
doing everything I'm not.

I sit alone in the shadows,
hiding from the world,
hiding my true self,
ashamed of who I've become.

A cigarette in one hand,
my lighter in the other,
watching the smoke surround me,
flicking the ash as it burns.

I bring it to my mouth,
another pull,
another thought,
the smile becoming faint.

My only real happiness coming from the rush,
each crave become more overwhelming,
it begins as a few,
it ends as a chain.

The only real thing keeping me going,
keeping my soul lit,
are these burning cigarettes,
yet I'm slowly smoking my life away.

make a resolution when its new years eve
something you can change and something you believe
change it for the best and make the change come true
what ever you decide that is up to you
make it from the heart  then you will be ok
make a resolution on this new years day

At half past ten when alone with my slice
for you had early dinner on doctor's advice
I miss you darling at the dining table
your listening of my recaps of the day's fables!

Now I have my dinner in an empty space
with none to be teased none to address
just eating in silence on my lonely chair
missing you darling wishing you were there.

If you aren't there who do I tease
who do I sell poems who do I please
my avidest listener most ardent fan
I miss you badly my dining companion.

Comes half past ten I don't feel nice
sitting by myself with the lonely slice
now I know dear it's no small price
to not have you at dinner on doctor's advice.

presents they are open now its time to play
pick up all the wrapping and throw it all away
find your favorite thing and put it to the test
when your bored with that play with all the rest
then when you have finished take a rest and then
eat your christmas dinner then you can play again

liturgical language of wind whispers in the pines.
the sky filled with the pearly puffs of Her word.
the hymnal call of the mountains.
angles rise from the depths of lakes.
the taps of rain on the ground proclaim the Almighty.
cavernous churches entombed within the minerals
of Her love.
upon Her watery canvas She paints portraits
of Her ardent, blue dreams of eyes, and erases them
with each passing kernel of time
repainting them just as fast.
paradise.
pinnacle of unselfish endeavors.
untainted beauty encapsulated in Her smile
She is good; She is infinite; She is yes.
my only escape,
ever-faithful,
unchanging beauty.
all is held within the womb of Nature,
waiting for birthing death into the ethereal.
thank god for Nature.

Everyone goes through pain,
everyone suffers,
its always there,                                
creating the latest temptation.

Tearing us inside out,
haunting us as each day passes,
mocking us,
mocking the cause.

Not able to last any longer,
not able to go any further,
the strength turns to weakness,
a cry for help.
                  
A breakdown,
a thought,
a blade,
a river of all that we are beginning to flow,
a last moment,
a last breath,      
a life.