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him
i finally understand
   what all the sad songs are about
i finally get it
    that feeling that your beating heart
has been torn from your chest
the sick feeling
that constricts your efforts to breathe
the tears that will not stop
puffy red eyes and lips
the feeling of complete terror
that you have somehow
lost something beautiful and rare
that you have let him down
finding the desire of your heart
a direct connection - electric - maddening
and you know
this is exactly what i've always wanted
crazy c r a z y hope
gone in the blink of an eye
but i had to try for him
i had to
he was something worth fighting for
and i won't take down the drawing
and i don't want to forget
and i can cry to sad songs if i want to.
after five years
when I write her a love poem,
she is always surprised,
her unexpectation
so very pleases me.

after five years
when I write her a love poem,
I am always surprised,
that a new way to say it,
uncovered.

but this I can tell you,
not once
do I ever write
nor will I ever pen
those I love you words.

they are too easy, too cheap,
a dime a dozen,
naked words make me weep,
dress 'em, cloak 'em, try to
Pradip 'em in
mystery, charming humor,
use conjuring spells of
Bala imagery unreal,
Bzynga!

work hard to tell her why,
work hard to guard your originality,
work hard to tell her in ways
that her into me
smiling, crying, punching.

so I write love poems,
every now and then,
special ways recalled,
teasing her about her forgetfulness,
about her teasing me with rhyming
that is less than spectacular,
how my body has
reshaped itself to fit her.

tell her
I love you,
plain,
well that be downright,

pffft.
(an interjection used to express or indicate
a dying or fizzling out)

the key is to tell her
in a fashion original,
personal to us.

that what all these endless
love poems here strive,
but too oft, fail to arrive.
all tricked up, too direct,
passion burnt used up
after but a single read

stroke her cheek
with soft stanzas,
torrential directness,
no subtly,
fizzles.

write for the long haul,
words that five years hence,
words that five hundred years hence,
make her into me
smiling, crying, punching,
like the first time
she read them,
like they did
five years ago.
Jan. 9th, 2013
1.  My mind is a 20/20 vision pair of eyes.
I can see the specks
and seeds of irritation before they grow.
Plants,
They were never really good for these eyes.

2.  Let's go to the moon.
And I assure you,
While you sink your feet in moon dust
And swim in empty craters,
While I worry about how dark it is out here,
I get to enjoy the simultaneous twinkle of the stars.

3.  And because I'm paying too much attention,
I might even get to see one fly.

4.  You're thinking about how delicious this lunch is.
I'm counting calories.

5.  So,
what's for dinner?


6.  Hey, if she is
Indeed
Stabbing my back
With word weapons,
My 561-letter comeback speech
Is always ready
in the front pocket
Of my school bag.

7.  Its always  just a headache,
Never brain cancer.

8.  I love the newly opened eyelids,
In the mornings,
My first breath is a sigh of relief,
Yes.
I didn't die in my sleep.

9.  She's got a great body.
Her bones read,
No food and a ton of gym time,
I'm sure it's to make you smile.
And I hate to brag,
But I'm mentally fit.
I get to exercise
Analyzing every single detail
Of the twinkle in your eye
Of the flick of your lips
Of the depth of that frown
When you said
you were leaving.


10.  I think I've figured out why.
Hindi ba umaabot sa langit
Ang mga panalangin
Na binubulong ko sa hangin?
Masyado ba Kayong
Malayo
Para makita
Ang mukha kong
Nalulunod sa luha?

Habang Kayo ay
Walang imik, walang kibo
Ako ay napupuno
Ng mga problemang walang solusyon
Ng mga tanong na walang sagot.

Pero sa aking pagsapit
Sa kailaliman, kadiliman
Doon ko lang natanto
Ang dahilan kung bakit
Ako'y tila inyong
Tinaguan, tinalikuran

Dahil sa inyong
Nakakabinging katahimikan
Ako ay nagising
Sa aking napakahabang idlip
Kung saan nilamon ako
Ng aking mga
Makasariling panaginip.
Namulat ang mga
Nagbubulag-bulagang kong
Mga mata sa
Katotohanan, kalayaan
Na nasa harapan
Ko lang pala.

Doon ko rin lang naalala
Na mahal Niyo pala ako
At walang ibang tunay na ligaya
Kundi mahalin din Kita
At tsaka,
Natuto na akong
Maghintay ng may
Karunungan at
Umindak sa sayawan
Sa kabila ng Inyong
**Nakakabinging katahimikan.
It feels great to be back after a long writing hiatus.
If I told you that I wrote this
from the love I have for you
would you give it a second glance
would you read this whole poem through
would you look at me and just "tsk tsk"
this simply just won't do
If I wrote I until I could no more
would you read this
or would you still ignore
the me that was with you
through the times we used to adore
and would you go back to your house
hop into bed and begin to snore.
Even though its the middle of the day.
Looking @ my phone hoping she calls
Wishing shed text I miss her company
Only if I could make it right tired of it being wrong
She saw something in me when I don't believe in myself
She came in my life and now she's gone
Went all in.and she baled out
I loved her flaw and all her silence gets to me
Its hard to walk away when she pursued you
Its over one more chance to find closure
Id like to be friends  but you cut the cord
If I could get you back id find away
Departing ways wishing to find love together and stay
I've watched the world
Entangle
Everything I love
Into a changing embrace.
And I only hope that
One day,
It
S t o p s
Always!*  
fall in love with a poet,
they cannot disguise the truth,
yet, soften it when needed, somehow,
for the only words they possess
are kindness and kindness...

Should you travel with a poet,
new ways of seeing will they introduce,
delighting you, and for ever in you, delight,
for every word that passes thru their lips,
gifts to keep, for the days of when...

There cannot be always good times,
poets know, so they write today,
for when tomorrow's intrusion is
the other end of life's continuum,
their words recalled, restore, revive...

Poets are the predecessors,
your torment, anguish, they have known,
so when they write today, it is
preparation when the future demands,
changes that require tissues, shoulders, arms...

Worry not about their torment,
t'is a seasonal change, comes and goes,
but in the winters of your life,
yours - warm fire, warm poets, summer kind words,
so, always, always,


Always fall in love with a poet...
A riposte to Mr. Hawkins of Canada
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