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 Mar 2014 Gwen Johnson
Theia Gwen
You are a star
Shining in the night sky
There's a burning in your chest
A supernova bursting behind your eyes
Full of life, full of love
I can't help but stop and stare
You help me find my way home
By just being there
You're the kind of beautiful
That makes me want to cry
All of the stars could make constellations
And you'd be brighter than them all combined
I am but a speck
Staring at you from below
But I feel a sense of hope
When I see you glow
You'll look down from up above
The whole earth as your view
You'll never know a tiny speck cries
Because I know I'll never be good enough for you
 Mar 2014 Gwen Johnson
Theia Gwen
Monsters have to receive an invitation
Before coming inside
That's what I read in stories
But I never let you in my mind
You didn't come all at once
You came like a thief in the night
But you waited patiently
To start shutting off the lights
You manifested yourself
In comments my mother made
In that sinking feeling I felt
That cut me like a blade
Now that I think of it
You were always there
Reminding me of nights I cried
idontcareidontcareidontcare
You broke the rules
I never gave you an offering
But you didn't care
And now I'm housing all this suffering
I can't think straight
And all my walls are crumbling
It's permeable
And the rain keeps pouring
This sorrow is going to drown me
And I think I might just let it
In a place I can only hear my heart beating
Where I can't take any more hits
It's a truth I can no longer deny
As I'm swimming in this sea
I do not have depression
Depression has me
I've been obsessed with the song I'll Be Alright by Passion Pit recently and that is one thing that inspired this.
 Mar 2014 Gwen Johnson
Sir B
I fell again
From the mile high city for her
Then realized she was elsewhere
And started my journey west from US
Wen across the pacific
And found everyone making love
But not the person who i fell for
Continuing west
I reached Europe
And found beautiful
Landscapes and wondrous cuisine
Wonderful people
And stunningly beautiful natural history museums
Still not the beautiful lady

I then realized she was probably close by
Near where i started
So i made the daring flight
Across the Atlantic
While flying
I became even more lonely
And pondered
"What would i say to my lady once i meet her?"
I left those thoughts aside and
Looked around to see if i was close to home
And in that moment, my heart fell away and went into the enormous ocean..…

I continued now without hope
Reached my place
And looked around
Sure, i found her
The beautiful person
So stunningly wonderful
Artemis would be jealous.
I tried to tell her my emotions
My ever powerful love

Which took me around the world
But when she asked for my heart,
I couldn't contain myself
And told her of my tale
She listened and sympathized
But couldn't help
And then
I fell down
Only to be revived by her
Who told me, she still loved me
That revived my soul
And i found my heart
Quickly after
Only to realize



It was a dream…
Easily weird. Do tell me if you have a better title. Otherwise. I have to sleep and Beware the Ides of March!!!
My favorite necklace
Is a noose
And I laugh when you
Make it too loose cuz
You're always trying
To save me.
You're my favorite
Voice inside my
Head
And the only
Monster underneath
My bed
But you don't
Exist, you're  just an
Extension of
Myself
Just like everybody
Else
In my life I ever loved
Cuz who I am
Is just not
Enough
For anyone to
Love for real.
My whole life
Revolves around
Fight or flight
Cuz I'd rather let myself
Drown
Then let someone
Down
And I'd give it all
Up, the little
That I have
Just to see you
Smile
Just to see you
Glad
To be alive
Even if you only
Exist
In my mind.
 Mar 2014 Gwen Johnson
Theia Gwen
I'm so filled with self loathing
I have a problem believing
Anyone could love me
And then you happened
You, with your perfect grades,
And perfect family,
Perfect everything
It makes sense you'd want a perfect girlfriend
So why'd you settle for me?
Why am I next to you?
Me, the definition of average
It doesn't add up
Why is there an us?
Us, You and I
Perfect and average?
You're not a good liar
I can tell when you do
And it seems you're not lying
When you say "I love you"
I don't know what to think anymore
Because you've told me all the things
I never told myself
And I think I needed that
More than anything
 Mar 2014 Gwen Johnson
Theia Gwen
You never fail
To point out every single flaw
Never forget to remind me
Of everything I do wrong
I was stupid getting 60's,
Still stupid on honor roll
And you never cared about my ADHD
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how worthless I am
I tell myself all the time
No, this isn't teenage angst
I've been sad for years
You've made me feel alone
And that's why I love him,
He told me the things you should have said
All along
I think this revelation is far overdue
The fault isn't in me,
The fault is in you
To my mother.
I want to live my life in every perspective.
I want to feel the emotions and the pain of every single person.
I want to enjoy the world through my eyes shining through the light of another person.
I want to love this life unconditionally.
I want to see the world.
I want to feel it all.
I want to feel at all.
I want to feel.
Yes or No like
Black or White and
Right or Wrong so
Negative so
Positive no
listen to the
madness when
yes is no when
right is
wrong when
people cry from
counter-
positives

Black and white so
true or false no
time for maybe no
time for grey
I need an answer
now
now
now like
a ticking clock with
words to choke on and
quiet to drown in a
tick and a
tock and a
flurry of bells a
birth a
wedding a
funeral an
*end
I don't exactly understand this myself.
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