And I swear to God
That the passion burned
more fierce than it has in a
long time as
her words scorched hot
across the night sky
and left burns upon
my tattered soul
only to leave scars that
I would not forget.

There was somebody out there.

My whispered words fall softly,
Upon downtrodden ears.
Even now I wipe away,
Your quarter crystal tears.

You come to me in the silence,
Your anguish knows no bounds.
I hold you and I love you,
Listen to your tearful sounds.

I run my fingers through your hair,
Tell you it will be alright.
Clutching you tight against me,
As you shiver through the night.

When morning comes I wake you,
Beautiful as you sleep.
I try to imagine the terrors haunting,
While you sink in dreams so deep.

I take your hand and raise you up,
And show you to the sunlight.
I hold you tightly, yet again,
You made it through another night.

I pack you up, gather your things,
The ones left laying by the door.
I whisper gently, yet again,
And pick you back up off the floor.

I can't help but help you,
Your tears scald my heart.
I can't help but hold you,
When you beg me play the part.

---------

So many nights I held your hand,
Trembling but unbroken.
I learned to love you a little more,
With every heartache spoken.

Every time you found affection,
It brought you so much pain.
I died just slightly, every time,
I watched you circle the drain.

Sometimes I spoke harshly,
And let my rage fly loose in ink.
But never did I hate you,
When you pushed me to the brink.

I'm sorry for those days of anger,
I just couldn't take it all.
Just as soon I held you close,
When you would stumble and fall.

It's been five long, painful years,
That I lived and breathed for you.
I'll still hold you, dear Madeline,
Though our time is all but through.

The pain I feel at our parting,
It tears away a part of me.
Now I must trust in you,
As I am forced to set you free.

I hope you can remember the nights,
And live them through with memory.
Remember sunlight and your daisies,
Please, live amongst life's beauty.

--------

My whispered words fell softly,
Upon your delicate ears.
I hope that I served my purpose,
Easing your midnight fears.

I ran my fingers through your hair,
I told you it would be just fine.
Clutching you tight against me,
Your tiny body trembling against mine.

You grew so much in that time,
I hope you now see the beauty of life.
Remember that I will always love you,
Forever my friend, in darkest night.

Haunted by a terror past,
Hope blooms for futures bright.
I whispered words in the silence,
Just so you lived another night.

Hey kid,
I remember you from a year ago, Not knowing where you're going to go, Watching the snow, Drift down from the loading docks, And staring counting down time on clocks, Im telling you to not rush, but that's all you want to do, And its not till you are on the edge staring at the blue, Drinking way more than one or two, You almost will die more times than you'd like, And you have dreams every night aboot you're faceless wife. Don't worry kid, its the worst year of you life, But you make it through, Like a champion, you stand gallantly with armor made of everything that tried to **** you, You'll realize you're parents deserve better, Even though they will still say, "you're the best thing that has happened to me son." in their letters. You're friends are the strongest crop you know, And all you'll want to do is show, Everything that they did was not all for nigh, So hold your head up high, Hey kid, I remember you from a year ago, And I want you to know, Everything will be fine.

Why are you so distant from the earth

i can't  reach you anymore

and pull you in close to me

oh ohhh oh

snowing on the hearts of love

were did it all go

those shivers
of octobers fall
oh oh ohhh

slipped away
like the rain
off my tanned skin
Gone
like  the summers ray
never did i
feel so alive
oh oh ooo

driving down the night
smiling like the moon
thought i  was better
but am just rushing time

gotta sit back
and see the worlds fumes
pass on by

oh boy

I am keeping these journals just in case something may happen to me someday. I want the world to know of my work. I want them to understand me.


How can they ever find my name out, when i don't even know my own name? In fact, in the oldest memories that I have of myself, I was just like this...nameless. That has to be at least 40 years ago. It is only in the last 2 years, that I have been killing though. I fought the urge for so long. One day it hit me like a ton of bricks why I am here. To punish the unrighteous ones. That means almost everyone...

Don't ask me how I know which ones to punish, because I just know. Children, for example, will never be punished and by children, I mean 18 and under. This leads to a dilemma of course...since they still want to **** me...

I get a feeling, and I know it's God telling me. I know it has to be God because I know nothing of evil. I have dedicated my life to God, and I have never so much as touched drugs or liquor. I have never even watched television. I had always tried to help people, then God told me that I wasn't helping. He told me that they weren't like me. He told me of all the evil in their hearts, and in their homes. When I get close enough to someone, I can sense their life, their intentions. God has truly blessed me...

I rarely ever have any remorse for torturing and killing people. They have it coming to them, mostly. I say mostly because sometimes I do feel like such suffering and then death is too harsh of a punishment for sins like gluttony, or sloth. I mean, I can't go around killing people just because they are fat, or they sit around a lot. Some people have problems and I always try to consider that. The only reason that I **** so many overweight people and people on welfare is that they are easier to get to. I have found that low income housing and welfare apartments are good places to do "my work". The cops just don't care about them. I also punish my share of rich people, but I have been labeled a racist and sociopath. HAHAHA! Me. A racist! Even as dark as my skin is....of course, they don't know that.

I always know as soon as I see someone whether they must die or not. I can't really explain, but it's just a feeling that I get, and it's like a movie plays in my mind. I can see their life. I can see the bad and good they do. Some people do a whole lot of good, but they still must be punished. The rules are simple. If they have broken any of the Seven Deadly Sins, they must be punished, then killed. I have seen the movie and felt the truth every single time...besides one...just once. I call her Aurora, Goddess of the Morning Dawn. That was the first time I seen her, at dawn. I never believed in a Goddess until I seen her. She has to be, because I have never seen a woman so beautiful. I have also never not gotten the movie from the Lord. I only ever really get to see her in the morning.

She leaves her apartment every night at about nine. I have followed her many times, but I have never found out where she goes. The problem is, I have my work to do. Every time I try to follow her, she walks into a pretty bad neighborhood of drugs, strip bars, and casinos. I don't make it far in those neighborhoods before my senses go crazy. I am always left to do my work, while she strolls on so beautifully. I often wonder if she does the same thing that I do. I wonder if that's why I can't sense anything from her. Maybe that's also why she goes into the same area almost every night. I wonder how many of us are here and working for God. She is special either way. I just haven't been able to figure it out exactly. I do feel like she is meant to be near me for some reason.

Eyes of the greenest dawn
a heavenly scent, sunlight spawn
to your door I am always drawn
only to find you gone

My morning mystery light
the sun rises at your sight
you make my days shine bright
but a creature of the night?