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Skye Jan 2018
What makes you happy?

Cat videos?
Rain?
Vocaloid?
Friends?
Memes?
Candy?
Video games?
Snapchat?

Recently I've been struggling to work that out.

Sleep?
YouTube?
Work?
Dark?
Birds?
Introspection?
Warmth?
Poetry?

I don't feel happy very often anymore.

Fields?
Freedom?
Submission?
Alcohol?
Counselling?
Familiarity?
Normality?
Academia?

Just sad and anxious.

Cats?
Technology?
Boyfriend?
Rope?
Scarring?
Stoicism?
Hugs?
Presents?

Just a plateau.

Memories?
Posters?
Care?
****?
Christmas?
Silence?
Headphones?
Money?

Just...

Constellations?
Grandparents?
Politics?
Failure?
Certificates?
Proof?
Phones?
Health?

Nothing.
Skye Dec 2017
She's tired.
She has been for a while now.
Sometimes she forgets things she shouldn't.
Or she thinks too much about death.
But she's just tired.

She's staying inside more often.
She hasn't met her friends for days.
She gets a little sad sometimes.
Maybe she should text them.
But she has a lot of homework.

She can't concentrate.
She tries revising but remembers nothing.
Her grades are getting worse.
She's trying as hard as she can.
But she's just tired.
Skye Dec 2017
My niece told me to tell her a happy story,
But I don't have many of those.
Skye Dec 2017
I wish I could be awake 24/7
Just to be there for you when you need me.

I've slept through your crises twice now
And I can't imagine
The hurt
The betrayal
The disappointment
You rightly feel.

I wish I could be awake 24/7, because
You deserve the world and I've given you nothing.
Skye Dec 2017
I see sunlight streaming through my curtains.
Specks of dust dance in the glow.
And I'm here, sedentary in my bed.
Why should I get up? It's cold outside.

I hear the hustle and bustle of the morning routine outside.
A soft laugh rings out, echoing, echoing, echoing.
I shiver, sitting up in my bed.
Why should I turn the heating on? It's a waste of energy.

Time happily skips along today.
Like a child, innocent and oblivious.
I crawl back under my sheets like a cockroach, resigned.
Why should I go to my lecture now? It's too late.

So I guiltily choose to sleep again.

I don't want another void day.

— The End —