The end, when it came wasn't really out of the blue but it still struck me with surprise. I guess I thought I was ready for it. The pain however was something new entirely. I've never felt like dying before, never had a reason.

This is not your loss
For it is mine
We shall meet again
When I run out of time
Sit and wonder
Things of the stars
Caught between here
And the days of youth

This fragile life
Like broken glass
I cut my hand
Picking up the pieces
You speak of times before
From back and beyond;
Places where we stayed
People who we loved

Forever we will tell
Forever letting go
Colour golden highs
Painted black the lows
What has gone before
Will go again
And I'll see you there
Take care my friend

You walk round again
Nothing's wrong or gone
Sunshine tinted moments
I still hear your song
This won't hide in shadows
It's all in the light
Life is made from time
And everything's alright

How does it feel? It feels bad
The acid burns, the anger stabs
What do I do?I don't know
Do I let it sit or let it flow?
Is this the end or the start?
It kills then breaks my heart

Where does it go? Does it compete?
It's all pain with no treat
Hating me, hating you
Going to see it through
Is this the end or the start?
To separate, to fall apart

Goodbye, goodbye
To all I know
Things they change
Things they flow
The light has died
You never saw
I should change
I should grow

Thirsty, thirsty
Need to drink
Fill me up
Before I sink
Hungry, hungry
Need to eat
Take my fill
Let me sleep

Shadows move around
Things which are still

This drunken encounter
Under beams of the moon
Time won't come quick enough
But it will come too soon

Surrounded, arms wrap around
Encompassing bodies of fire
Playing these well worn games
Like puppets hung on a wire

Emerging, I shall tomorrow
Into this pretty skin
Where everything starts again
This new life shall begin

This darkness consumes me
I fear when it's finished there will be nothing left.
Hollowed out from the inside
When it escapes this world will cease to exist.

But I like it
I embrace it
It talks to me
In shades of black it speaks

This hatred becomes me
To isolate and with it this power grows ever strong
My mind feels corrupted.
When I speak it feels like a different voice

But I like it
I embrace it
It talks to me
In shades of black it speaks

Our greatest glory is not in failing,
But in rising every time we fall.
Rising every time we fall.
Rising every time we fall

Keep company with those who make you better

Once we were young
And ruled the the world
We saw things
We did things

The photographs
proved we were there

Who are you with tonight?
Pieces of me fall away
Reveal my  circuits
components laid bare
Some of them broken
None of them spare
Now look  inside
I'm all metal and wires

I don't feel pain
but i can feel
I'm not alive
But I am real

Who will share with you?
I don't need to breath
But I can't move forward
down on my knees
I was never alive
And I'll never die
to mourn this loss
But never to cry

I'm not a machine
I'm not a machine

Sleep, I've forgotten what that feels like.
Counting the minutes to each new sunrise
Whilst watching the days get shorter
Medicating the pain into the background

Eyes open, each movement screams awake
A thousand needles move under the skin
Weaving this tapestry of flesh and bone
An endless picture of what I've become

Shaking under the strain, the cracks appear
Small, too small to notice darkness creeping
Eroding the wall that holds back the dog
Waiting to charge, waiting to bite

Weeks pass as moments when the pain fades
But like an unwanted guest, refuses to leave
Reminding me that this is not over
Invading my dreams and crushing my will