I wage war
That's never been seen before
Is sanity worth fighting for?
I'm not really sure

Insanity?
A calamity?
I call it individuality!

Who is Society
To create this hypocrisy?!?
It seems like such a tragedy
To waste such ingenuity
To dull the creativity

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.

I am a poet
And my world is my own
No ingestion of substance can compare

I am a poet
My senses I hone
How else can I color them to share

I am a poet
My pain is my pride
My wounds bleed raw on a page

I am a poet
My hope burns alive
Experiences transform me to a sage

I am a poet
I overflow with love
I accept all for who and what they are

I am a poet
Who needs not a shove
To weave a story in whimsy from afar

I am a poet
My passion rules the mind
However logical I pretend to be

I am a poet
I coax the words in kind
Filled with feelings only memory can see

I am a poet
I see the verse as yet untold
I bathe pages from the beauty of a look

I am a poet
My pen leads to my soul
There is intrigue in every shadowed nook

I am a poet

maybe I like being broken
numb and fine are the same thing
I'm just permanently tired

happiness is exhausting
always having to display it
smiling

I am told I have sad eyes
dead give away
that I'm a liar

but maybe I like being broken
and numb and fine are the same thing
I'm just permanently tired
     she said as she smiled the brightest of smiles with the saddest of eyes

I walk the world with thoughts of you
In every place I go
Your voice is on the winter wind
Your footprints in the snow
And every tool I try to use to scrape you from my mind
Cuts your name onto my tongue
And beats me till I'm blind
I layed my head upon your knees and breathed the air you breathed
I cut myself when you were cut to know just how you bleed
Now as I walk this empty earth with nothing but a face
To breathe me and to bleed me
Until I leave this place

Mistakes become badges
You wear on your sleeve
Preaching "humility!" "kindness!"
Things you have learned the hard way

We stumble, and fall
To only sometimes get up
And walk away from the rubble
That is the monument to the past

We must remember that waves
Are just parts of the largeness
Of the grandness
Of the ocean

And that all things
Are caused by other happenings
That are caused by other instances
That weren't out to get you

We are all the same
In that we are all different
In that we are all struggling
Towards a mountain's peak

What I wish I was taught
Years and years ago
(Or maybe it's just something
I wished I listened to in the first place)

Is that there is no mountain peak
That what really brings all of the everythings of wishes
Is recognizing the wind that rustles a leaf
On a struggling plant on the bottom of a forest

That the insignificance is the importance
That the smallness is really overwhelming
In meaning and truth

When we notice the path we are taking, we find the answer to ourselves:
Always mistakenly thinking it lead to a mountain of happiness,
But realizing it's really a road of joy we've been on the whole time.

*****
I know how to cure it
***** line
like The Neon around the sign
I can be cured
one shot at a time
I see girls talking to boys
boys talking to girls
boys talking to boys
girls talking to girls
and drunks like me talking to there bottle of cheap beer
I spot a girl in the back corner no friends surround her
no boyfriend playing pool keeping a eye on her
I walk my way over
and muster a couple lines to get my way in for a seat
I walk up and ask her what shes drinking
and if she'd enjoy some company
she replies
what makes you different then any other guy
I look her in her eyes
and tell her I just want her for the night
I tell her I just want to see what she looks like out of these dim lights
my place after your drink
she replies yes
as I said before I was *****
I could tell she was too from across the room
easy as pie waiting out on the window ledge
you can smell fresh pie from a mile away
as I lead her into my room
I unravel her clothes she thinks are exspensive
but I'll make her feel cheap tonight
I bite her flesh on her neck and kiss her earlobes
and I whisper whos a little *****
she replies me me me
I take down her *******
and they are actually entertaining hello kitty
as I giggle she giggles
as my fingers rub her inner thigh she wiggels
and arches her back
that when you know its game on
I grasp her somewhat chubby waste
she says at the most random moment a girl can ask
by the way whats your name
I say im Jay and you'll always remember me
I shove all of myself in
and she gasps
and she says
oh yes Jay I will always remember you.
we fall asleep
I wake up
call a cab
and tell her she has to leave
I toss her a cigarette and tell her to wait outside
and to never come back

I sit back and gobble down my dinner
Ramen mixed with Ranch
I sit back and kick my feet up
in this old recliner
it creaks and shifts as my skinny ***
sinks into its old cushion
I smell a cigarette burning
I taste its poison
I finish my meal and flip on the news
murders and weather mixed
with pity to our dieing soldiers
In the midst of this choas
I find happiness
that my day only consist of a ****** meal
and a old chair
Im not that mother holding back her tears
Im not that soldier holding back his fears
and I'm far from the bad weather that devastates
suburbs and already beat down buildings
I'm not that volunteer picking threw dead bodies
and rain soaked pictures of peoples lifes once lived.
Im simply a guy with a couple holes in his beaten converse sneakers
I'm simply a guy who watches the evening news
as I think about the things I could do
But then my laziness sets in
and I just sit back and listen.

Sit by my side,
talk me through,
let your sweet breath
caress my swollen eyes.

I select you.

Tell me about your past,
talk me through,
each misstep and lie,
the cadence makes it fine.

Curl up next to me,
talk me through,
make sure my heart beats,
but don't let me fall victim to dreams.

Call me your best friend,
talk me through,
if I show weakness, tangle about hair,
please don't call me handsome.

If we make it past night,
if you talked me through,
I'll make you breakfast
and you will make laughter.

Will you select me too?

Let's keep the trade even,
talk me through,
I'll distract you, you'll distract me,
from all the old lovers that proved themselves typical.