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When I was little
I would pretend to be asleep
So my parents could believe
They didn't need to worry
And I'd wait until they'd walk down the stairs
And I'd tip toe out of bed
And sit at the top of the stairs
My head leaned against the wall
Listening to the laughter below
Imagining ball gowns
And glasses filled with bubbly drinks

So why can't I fall asleep?
Because the night has also held too many secrets
For a curious child
Who loves to dream
Take as much air as you can
In one inhale
Then let it go
And try to let everything else go with it
Even for the split second you're exhaling
Just so you can see
Even for a moment
How simply beautiful it is
To live with out all these heavy things
That make breathing so hard
I have all this energy
All this love
And no one to pour it into


                                         So why am I am unlovable?
            Because there is too much love inside of me.
 Jan 2014 Gary Z
Yara Mrad
Say you'll save me from myself
From the monster living inside of me
Say you love me as well,
Say you'll help me be
The best of me you've always wanted to see
Say you'll detangle my fears
Hold me tight, let me know you'll be here
Carrying my heart in yours
Taking care of my soul like it's your own
Look into my eyes and just assure me
That everything's gonna be alright like you've always said it would be
Let me wrap myself up in you
So that i can rest my head in my usual nest
Listening to the greatest symphony coming from your chest
The sound of your generous heartbeats
Keeping me company while your protective arms surround me
like an army
Let's just stop time and have our own little silent party
We'll dance to the beat of our united joyful hearts
While you spin me around singing "we'll never be apart"
 Jan 2014 Gary Z
Deedee Culp
Months later as I ponder over all
that you were right about,
and all that I was right about, too,
I can’t help but wonder how
two people
that were so right could be so wrong.

After shamelessly dissecting each waking moment
from the first time I saw you across that crowded restaurant
to our series of wrestling matches and late night talks regarding our pasts
and the future that awaited us,
to the last time I bitterly, with tear-filled eyes, shook your hand goodbye,
I’ve concluded that everything said
was of the utmost truth
(with a few exceptions, of course)
and that your love for me was more genuine than most.
So why is it that I am asking myself this question for the
hundredth time
as I sit on my balcony watching the sun rise to the tips of the
dead, filemot colored hills after another
sleepless night?

Maybe we were too right.
Like two pieces of a puzzle that fit too tightly to be a match
no matter how hard you try to squeeze them together.
One always overpowering the other.
And so back we’re thrown into the vast pile of pieces,
perhaps finding each other again,
but never truly fitting until we realize that
maybe we weren’t so right after all.
 Jan 2014 Gary Z
Paola Lopez
No words can describe my feelings for you.
You know how to make me happy.
Put a smile on my face.
I don't know what it is.
Something about you is just so
addicting.
Is it your smile that melts me.
Your nose that fits perfectly next to mine,
as you plant a kiss upon my lips.
The wonderful kisses you give me,
randomly, passionately, but delightful.
Your perfect eyes that just look into mine.
The way they look when I catch you
staring at me.
You say so many word
in silents.
Could it be my heart
pounding rapidly
every time I see you.
Or is it your cute bear hugs
I just cant get over.
Squeezing you tightly is just amazing.
Having you by my side,
feels like heaven on earth.
Your personality is on the dot.
No word can describe my feeling for you.
You know how to make me happy.
Put a smile on my face.
I don't know what it is.
Something about you is just so
addicting.
 Jan 2014 Gary Z
Olivia Kent
Life’s much too Short
For another million years I’d love to write.
Burning passion inside.
Death, the night of life will take me away too soon.
Carry me into the doom.
Into the dark land of once was life.

Keep my poems safe and sound.
While I’m sleeping underground.
Want no more to live and breed.
Just to write and read.
Find my name in a bibliography upon the shelf.
Maybe In the library of heaven, should I find the truth inside?
Does heaven truly exist?
(c) Livvi
 Jan 2014 Gary Z
Lunarian
Happy Birthday
I sing with noone in front of me
noone beside me and
noone behind me

A stupid cake with silly candles that represent 20
and happy birthday with no name scribbled in blue icing
sit on the table before me, along with my favorite ice cream
Your favorite ice cream.

I remember because we used to play 21 questions
asking each other nothing of importance
assuming we'd be friends forever
as if somehow our friendship would be preserved forever and ever

I smile as I remember each fond moment with you
as I blow out each candle one by one, in remembering you
the stupid things we said and would do
and the stupid way life tore me apart from you

As I get to the last candle I can only imagine where life would take you
and I hope it takes you farther than what I dreamed you would do
I am happy for you, dont you see?
so please ignore the tissues in the floor beneath me

I do not know why I decided to be such a girl this time
when I do this sortof thing every year to remind me of a time
where me and you could've been an item
but now we are lost and out of time.
this is only a small story.. from a disturbed,lonely character named Jordan... she is too not be confused with being real. lol

ohh and this is her diary entry before she tried to **** herself. (dont worry her other friend ,Alexa, stops her)
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