It's that moment, on a road trip
When all the snacks have been eaten
And there is nothing but time ahead of you.

And there's music over the radio,
Taking turns playing our favorite songs
Our laughter melding with melody
As the sun begins to set.
And the warmth of that sun
Blends into the warmth in my chest

And I look

I look at him

and he glows with golden light.

And time slows down,
Every detail, in perfect clarity
Every second stretching into a lifetime
And my heart beats with so much love.
So much warmth and joy and hope.
And I look at him,

And he is beautiful.

And everything just feels right.

And I know it'll all be okay.

i feel heavy
in my mind and throat
a familiar feeling
certainly.
sometimes it feels like the only way to
ease the weight
is to dig it out
grow claws and sink them in
behind my eyes
under my jaw
into the soft space below the back of my skull
rip it all out
tear away at whatever it is
until i feel empty
and clean
again

i want to be loved horribly
love me until i shiver and scream
i want to be loved in such a way that it draws the blood from my skin
love me in a manner that kills me
when it ends

somewhere deep within
there's a little me
who got buried under the weight
of every single day
years ago
she got lost to time
i want her back
she wanted to stay alive
and i need that drive
i need me
as i am today
to find her fight
her desire
to survive