bursting
blooming
i am
growing
making friends
good friends
friends i love
friends i can trust
i am just a bud of a person
just now learning who i am
but i like what i see
and im glad to become
something beautiful

you seem happy whenever im around
and i hope to the gods that its true
because you deserve happiness
whether you believe it or not
i care about you
again, whether you believe that or not

hop skip jump
to the worst conclusions
she doesn't like you
he's going to leave you
they all despise you
you're the worst
anxiety and paranoia
tickle my brain 24/7
til' i hate myself
and you too

who am i
but the memory of a friend,
a ghost of the girl i could be
when i wrote more than words
a real poet, i was
when i was more of me

i should feel bad
for losing a friend
to the demons that chase me too
but in his eyes
i was never enough
and that will always be true

i am so sick
of feeling my own soggy brain
drag itself in circles
around the same old ****
i am so sick
of caring about people
who want nothing to do with me
i am so sick
of trying
and trying
and trying
keeping myself alive
for a fantasy
a joke of a life
that i'll never acheive
i am so incredibly sick
of pretending to be okay
so i can be there for the people around me

we're not friends
what we are is a joke
just a pair of kids
playing some ****** up game
where i try and try and try
and you give nothing back
when have i ever not been there for you?
have i not been good enough for you?
because even now
im sitting here
thinking about deleting this
because i know itll hurt your feelings
and *******
i love you
and i cant stop loving you
believe me
ive tried
so sure
go **** yourself
because nobody cares
nobody important at least