i am a person
built out of lies
look close and you'll see
the decaying of my mind
years of my own mediocrity
has put a fog over my eyes

i'm nothing special
nothing big, nothing great
i'm not even good
i'm something to hate

up and down
and up
and down

it'll stay that way
for a long time

the up and down
the dark water

coming up
rising high
crashing down
suffocating
then relief, again
briefly
for a moment
air
space
wide, open space
the nothing
before the roll and crash
of another wave

yes, it'll be like that
for good long while
maybe forever, even

speaking of summer nights
reminds me of warm skin under dark skies
when dreams float heavy in our eyes
connecting your mind to mine
keeping my heart in line

its not that i don't love you
(although i really don't)
it's that i can't keep hating myself for you
i cant keep saying im sorry

i love you
i love you
ill say again
and again
as many times
as i have to
to get it stuck
in your head
i love you
with no reason
i just do

i like it at the bottom of the ocean
even if i drown
at least i cant feel the waves
tossing me around