i was
just another chapter
another character
i was
never special
or different
from any of the others
and somehow
i manage
to still make it
about me

i hope when i die
every last one of you
cries your ******* eyes out
i hope you say sweet meaningless things
over my open grave
i hope you say that i was a friend
a sister, and a loving daughter
i hope you all drown in your ******* lies
you dont know me
none of you know me
when was the last time any of you cared how i felt?
how long has it been since you gave a ****?
no, *******, i hope you all ******* burn.

dont touch me
god, dont ******* touch me
i dont know why im shaking
stop asking me questions
its too much for my brain
i dont know anything
i dont want to be alone
i thought i had it controlled
thought this could work
but it isnt its not working
and every step closer is a little worse
this isnt art anymore
this is me dying in words on a screen
im losing it
everything
ive already lost my mind
dont pity me though
i wont let you
im not helpless or pathetic
im angry
because i deserved better
from myself and from the rest of you
i hope when im gone
you all learn how to be human
because now
this world isnt worth suffering on
im fed up with stories and metaphors
pretty words
"poetry"
its not a safe space its a ******* nightmare
nowhere is safe anymore
it all hurts
im a disappointment
and a ******* freak
and i ******* hate it here
i hate my body and i hate myself
who i am
learning who i am was supposed to be
fun and romantic and life-changing
instead it just made me lonely
because all i realized was
ive always been my only friend
the others were imaginary all along