Silence has never been so beautiful
Silence has never been so loud
and I swear I can watch her sleep, and I won't even frown
I don't even feel the need to speak to her, cause body language is **** loud
I just have to feel with her,
and I swear a kiss between our shoulders almost feels like universe

Fatal attraction…

Because all I do is fantasize
All I do is daydream
and I swear I'm so use to this…
Her endless moonlight walks in my mind, and the melody of each of her breathes
I'm so use to this…
Enough to know that after this all that will be left of her will be crumbs
Enough to know that after this,
she'll only be a poem
A poem…
because every lover leaves, and leaves me with a simple poem…
All that will be left of her and I will be this poem…

Fatal attraction…
Beautiful Tragedy…
                                                                           - F.V.

My genitalia, I  have no control over
It's not my fault my body wanted it...
No control over the unwanted arousal
Unwanted but pleasing arousal that arrived with every violating,intimidating meeting of skins
In fear, but it was delighting to feel in power
Feeding of my woman nature,
the ****** power of a woman
He controlled me with the fear he fed me
I controlled him with the pleasure I provided
What a pleasure,
what a guilt
what a guilty pleasure..
Egos face to face
His macho begging me to be submissive
I kept trying to convince him,
I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn't weak,
for the weak is the one who desires
He desired..
The weak is he who needs,he was in need
Although thinking he was in power,
I was in power, for I held what he desired…

- Frida Virrueta

Is this what love is?

I craved, almost needed, practically cried for warmth - my days were so cold

I finally found myself a fire place, it feels like home, it hugs me with its flames

But it begins to burn
Burns my walls
My soul
My sanity
And even my humanity

Masochistic to this flame, I do not move
I wish to when It's burning, but when It's warming it feels so good ...
It makes the burning tolerable

Is this what love is?
Accepting that flames, although warming,can sometimes burn?

         - F.V.

No right way to love
But don't tell me you know how to love when you run for your life every time you're not receiving the same kind of love,
That's nothing but selfish love…  
Don't tell me you know how to love when you can't carry your lovers pain on your back,
That's nothing but selfish love…
Don't tell me you know how to love when you keep trying to save yourself from heartbreak,
That's nothing but selfish love…
Don't tell me you know how to love when you know nothing but selfish love…
Don't try convincing me on your form of love when you know nothing about selfless love,
When you know nothing about giving in and loving without mercy

All I know is that it's not meant to be pretty
And it's not meant to be sugar-coated

Emotional connection was never meant to be pretty…

Not exempt from fears
Not exempt from tears

Not beautiful if not bizarre
Not beautiful if not chaotic

So why are you still insisting that love be so sugar-coated?

So now…
Remove the sugar coat,
And let me lie within you,
I'll just feel you…

- F. V.

I'm high off the heart-breaking but life-giving, innumerable thoughts of you that approach me every millisecond
I quit drugs after visiting multiple rehab institutions
but they never warned me about hope-giving , spirit-feeding, and addictive drugs like you
Drugs that with only a touch would immediately teleport me to another dimension
Drugs that would pleasure each pathway that lead to my soul
Wheres rehab for drugs like you?
Drugs that over-power me
Drugs that have me writing poems at 2:56 a.m.
Drugs that are the cause of the never-ending emotions that hit me like meteor showers
Where do I go to lose addiction to drugs my soul keeps asking for?

I've fallen in love with a storm,
it's a "she"
But I've always found inspiration in a little rain
And I'm cursed, for I've always been fond of what everyone else is afraid





               
   -F.V.

Hi,
Here you are again...
I've been trying to neglect you for a while,
how foolish of me...
- introvert

I think the only thing that's kept me alive is my high tolerance to pain
I always feel like I can take more,
I know I can take more
And we've all experienced pain in our own little ways,
in its own little,passive aggressive ways
But I know for a fact one never gets use to pain, It just fails to hit you by surprise, but still no restrain
But these cuts don't stay as open wounds, they become scars
and at one point you realize life aint **** but scars on scars on scars
and you live your life healing on healing on healing
and you get so comfortable with being uncomfortable
pain even becomes your comfort zone
And the next thing you know, you're a graduate with a  master's degree on pain
          - F.V.

She's both the start of war and the end of it...
                        
   - in love

trust me, the last thing I want to do is give my emotions a second form of existence by turning them into words,
but the only reason why I ever did write was because I never had anyone to share them with

- loneliness

That idolized word of yours - "virginity" - and my nature fail at getting along
Virginity steals my freedom
Why does my desire for ****** activity have to make me impure?
Why must I disengage from an uncontrollable arousal to be considered worthy?
You make the most sacred activity seem so unsacred
As if with every touch I lost my value
Why do you make my nature seem so unholy?
As if with every touch I stained my soul
What am I losing ?
If only gaining physical,emotional, and spiritual insight

THE JUSTIFICATION OF A LITTLE EMOTIONAL PAIN
Truly loving someone means that you're gonna have to let go of the idea of "self-love" at least a little
Your lovers words will sometimes hurt - naturally, for as like you, they too are human
They will speak of things that will make you feel like your relation with them is at cost, they will think of things that will make you think their love for you doesn't exist
THE JUSTIFICATION OF A LITTLE EMOTIONAL PAIN
Truly loving and accepting someone means that you're willing to stop loving yourself a little
It means that you will listen to your lover with an open mind and an open heart, accepting that they are only human, a human who feels things and thinks things that will make you feel at risk
You're gonna have to let go of yourself a little...
It will hurt...
but not on purpose
It will hurt because authentic love will force you to forgive, will force you to understand - things you don't wish to accept or forgive - It'll force you to hear words you don't wish to hear
Truly loving someone means that you're gonna have to stop loving yourself a little
You will hear words you don't wish to hear
and yet you will still love her
And if you're lucky enough she will speak to you about what she thinks, about how she feels, and those things will make you feel at danger, will make you question her love for you, but yet you will still love her
She will speak of past lovers, she will sound broken, and that most likely is because she is still broken
It'll make you feel like you aren't making her happy
It'll make you question your ability of loving her correctly
It'll make you feel like she deserves more and that maybe you deserve less
But yet...
you will still love her
She will lay in bed and cry and you won't know why and she will almost make it sound like it's your fault
She will lay in bed drowning in her own tears, submerging you a little bit
She will lay in bed drowning in her own tears, unable to swim
vulnerable
  broken
  needy
  anxious
And it will transfer into you, her feelings will becomes yours, and sadness will feel like a virus spreading through every **** kiss, yet also injecting immunity  
She will lay in bed drained by her sadness, feeling hopeless,making you feel hopeless
and yet you will still love her
she will question your love, your honesty
and It will indeed make you feel belittled, It will all make you feel belittled
belittled, vulnerable, weak
and yet you will still love her
She will stare at you and although you feel safe, you will feel scared
Scared of her feelings, scared that it means that you don't satisfy her, that you are incapable of making her happy
She will stare at you and you will think that she's thinking you're not enough
and in most cases it will be the complete vise-versa, but you will still feel weak
Weak because of her
her
her
and yet you will still love her
Crying she will insist on leaving you, or that you do yourself the favor of leaving her, and although It's because she is just simply broken and emotionally exhausted,
you will blame yourself
You will think she wishes that you leave because you are not enough
and again,
you will feel so small, so weak, so so sad
so broken
and yet you will still love her
Her feelings and thoughts will affect you, will make you question yourself, will make you feel weak
even needy
and yet you will still love her
I swear to you that the next morning she will turn around and look at you and tell you that she loves you, she will tell you that she's sorry and you will say that It's okay, and she will say It's not but you insist it is because
yet, you still love her
The next morning she will turn around and tell you that she loves you, she will tell you that she's sorry and you will say that It's okay
You will say that It's okay even if the night before she unintentionally shattered you into a million pieces
You will say that It's okay and she will say It's not but you will insist
Insist that real love understands, forgives, lets be - even if It's disaster -
You will insist
that
yet
you still love her
THE JUSTIFICATION OF A LITTLE EMOTIONAL PAIN...
letting her be will hurt you
She will hurt you unintentionally
She'll tell you she loves you, she'll tell you she's sorry and you will say that It's okay
and even if it hurts you'll let her be
You'll stop loving yourself a little, so you can love her a lot, because thats what real love does
You will let her be- even if she chooses to be a disaster
and yet you will still love her
THE JUSTIFICATION OF A LITTLE EMOTIONAL PAIN
let her be, even if It's chaos that she's being
she'll unintentionally hurt you
and yet you will still love her
and yet there's chance she might not love you
AND YET YOU WILL STILL LOVE HER
unconditionally...

- vulnerable