Why do I constantly dream about you,
With impure thoughts circling my mind,
I'm suffocating in your pool of lies,
Barely breathing; baffled and blind.

I told someone we're having problems

I don't know if that was the word for it
But lately I feel like your hiding things
Even from me
I know we're going through
A rough time
But I hate feeling so far
Like my own heart is floating away
And I know yours is breaking with each word
And I'm just making things worse
Because thats all I'm good at
And I'm sorry
I just want you back
Your smile has vacated
And you seem so numb
You distance me
And act like I don't care
But I do
I want it all to work out
Just as much as you
I want you in my life
I want you to stay forever
I wanna be your wife
Forever loving and faithful
But I feel so far from you
And I feel your loneliness even now
I feel your wish to be at home with me
Cuddled in a cacoon of love
But you know my goals require me to stop
Taking so many days off
And it's making me feel like
I'm trapped between a rock
It feels as though I'm in that room
Where the walls are closing in
And there are no ways out
Or simply too many to choose one
And I just want you back
And I know you have to worry
But since all the stress has arose
You kiss me less
Hug me with desparity
Begging to be saved
When I'm in the same situation
You show less emotion while showing
So many
You love me
But it feels colder
And I'm scared
And I miss you
And I don't know when things
Will get better
But I'll always be here
Waiting
I'm not the type of girl
To give up on what she loves
Baby I don't want us to cry anymore
I don't want to hurt
I don't want us to live our lives
In a loveless love
Please show me you love me
Just hug me with a smile
Or kiss me with a passion
That's not a solution
Kiss me like you want me
Because you love me
Hold my hand and squeeze
Smile at me
Smile because we have each other
Smile because we're soul mates
And we're engaged
Chase me
Tickle me
Ressurect our love
And please stop worrying for one second
And just be with me
You are my sun
And you are clouded
I'm here and try to help you shine again
Believe in my love
Trust me
Come back to me.

there are things in this world that aren't ******* fair
like children who believe they have ADD
and avoid dealing with what they really have.
like mothers who tell their children lies
about fathers
like children who adopt monsters that don't belong to them
personas that they try on like sparkly ballet flats
writing poems about being abused
and having ADD
and a ****** life
some children are wrong.
and i only know because i am their sister
children learn to tell lies
it's not their fault
i must remember not to blame them
but it is hard
there are people in this world who were truly abused
and you, sisters
befoul their anguish
with your wolf-cries.
i will never know how many times i must say this
but you weren't ******* abused
and you don't have ADD
and your mother is a ******* liar
i love you both
but i cannot listen
any more.

maps don't exist for
the hardest routes,
instead only for those green diamond
lines playing over manuscript flat paper,
long like flutes extending out over and up
mountain ridges, down across narrow
beaches leading to fisherman rooftops
taking hits from the ocean in front.

We must make our own way lost,
ending up somewhere ill and icy,
dressed up in the frost in nothing but socks, unwashed
from the running, screaming grace from the
windowsills;
it's a place most won't meet, won't want to meet,
but will nevertheless greet with wide open, French patio door
arms.

You've changed,
My heart broke but only temporarily,
Because there will be better guys,
Who will love and care about you for who you are.

How do you know....
That you've grown old

When you see a luscious
human creation,
And don't think
Hot damnation

How do you know...
That you are an adult

When you see a diving board,
And think holy sht,
As a seven year pushes past you,
Climbing up, screaming with glee

How do you know...
You are married happily

when each of you knows
The other snores,
But neither ever mentions it

How do you know...
it's time to file

To divorce the twit you married
When you were young and so dumb,
When you introduce her as
My Wife but think secretly I'm wasting my life

How do you know...
You will be an ok parent

When you offer to press your  lips
To a child's cut, wounded knee,
Proclaiming confidently your kisses
Will make the boo boo feel all better,
And believe it is the  absolute truth

How do you know...
It is genuine 100% love sickness, heartbreak disease

When you see her at the cafeteria, a conference,
She doesn't glance your way even once,
And you can't take your eyes off her skin,
And the chronic ache in your chest that has been there
For months, suddenly become a full fledged pain,
Again


How do you know...
You-believe -

Is when
The question
No longer occurs

How do you know...
When you have acquired wisdom

When you hold your sobbing daughter of eighteen
In your arms, saying over and over,
It will be ok,
Knowing full well
It will be too

How do you know...
It is time.

I don't know, but when I do,
I will surely tell,
With that titled poem,
**One Last Write, One Last Rite.

That beautiful glorious space of
"me loving you,"
That's where
We won't both go.

Yet my heart goes there
Often, when swollen with the
Wondrous, Wonder Ours, of our
Emotions.

But when that refuge closed,
I shrink beneath the pain
That is now homeless, like me,
For there is only a pace and a place called
Nowhere,
For them to go.

i found you on the side of the road
like a bright, yellow leaf that just left its home
a shiny penny in the gutter
drowning in the street.
you didn't want to be collected
but good luck getting away without any feet
i won't let you leave
me.

if i ever become a mother
i will clip my wings
and do my best to stay grounded.
my mother -
a flightless bird
got away despite everything
but i will let you put me in a cage
if we have to
i will not
leave you

i promise