I'm not sure why
You got black and blue eyes
Mine stayed pink
I stayed long enough to think

Cause I don't want to cut
I mean I'm pretty sharp but
If I stay here in a puddle maybe I can recollect

So I live like a puddle
All my thoughts stay muddled
But one day I'll get up
I'll be standing like the bell

In layer zero of hell
I'm a hero if I make it out of bed,

You thought

I can take you down
When I speak of death...
But honey, this'll never be anything less
Nothing less

Yes, yes yes.
I do confess
To seducing God
In a tight black dress...

The spoils are mine.
Now,
We're perfectly entwined.

I have seen the sunlight go stale
You have to work your way around it
And keep it as alive as you can

Stale yellow sunlight
Death in the daytime
Break me on your knee
And burn my skin ******* pale.

i want to be
a man whose feet
denote beloved
and forsaken

whose heart knows,
who follows love
too quickly for his demons

cut up,
cut up, you cut me up
you cut me up to pieces

to face the red
and dash the black
you cut me up to pieces

no, the sky is not blue
it is gritty,
and tan

now it's black
hard to breathe
but the sun
's on my back.

no, the sky is not blue
and it couldn't spawn you
all your mecha,
and ****
all the ****
that you rock

never practiced guitar
i just noodled around
never wrote out a novel
just sat on the ground
and arranged different leaves
with the things that i found
back when textbooks and teachers
to my life were bound

my head in the sand
i'll die an old man
let down, high and dry
by a lazy, scared boy shaking
like a leaf
oh, that was almost something
let's keep it

*what is litotes again
what is ...paraprosdokion?

the second we touch we go stale
unless we nurture the fountain together
we respect its gentle graces and
FIST IT IN THE ***
******* stupid fountain
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

whatsamatter honey
ain't it a good time
ain't it the right time

whatsamatter honey
ain't it the right time
ain't i the right guy

my love
she is noir-et-blanc
she sits by
the riverbanks
of my eyes;
she swims inside.

she swims and swims and swims inside
she swims, comes up to rest again

and what do you think?
mi amor, esta
colorida.
pero todo lo que ella sabe
is a world that makes her
black or white.

when it comes to precious,
beating hearts...
where is there room for grey?
and so,
she is noir-et-blanc
while holding many shades:

for there upon deliberation
on the precipice
lives the product of a life
under working eyes--

is she fair or stormy-skied,
do her flowers grow?
could you build a house on her?
and is she high, or low?

subtle deformations compound
the twisted work of a drunken sculptor
but worse, it moves, and thinks
and turns,
it loves, and hates, and talks--
must work!

i'm not sure exactly where i went wrong
but i'm listing, dizzy
it's getting hard to see
yes, it's getting cloudy

i meant what i said yesterday
but it's as if i've had a stroke
...of luck!
i'm still alive
it's not that bad
just overthinking...
****!

well yeah,
i guess you could make anything sad
if you fought hard enough.

funny,
some people seem to fight pretty hard.

...

not me.

i figure, i'm alive to do things that make me happy, eh?
seems obvious enough.

but some people, man...
especially nowadays
some people love their sadness.

it never bothered me, you know
to each his own and everything,
except the ones who are really choosing it.

you know what i mean?
it's a reflex we all have:
you see somebody making a big deal over some petty ****,
you squash 'em.
you tell 'em, "stop whining buddy."

"aye, better luck next time."

"don't be a sore loser."

and that's half the world's problem, i swear it
is sore losers!
that right there is gonna get you in a lot of trouble...
and it's just downright wasteful!

i mean,
i just hate to see a good meatsack go spoiled.

Wake up, wake up and
Roll your eyes at the world
Know it'll all be over soon

Don't you dare seize
Any ******
Opportunities
You know you're only gonna meet your doom

And when the sunrise
Meets your eyes
You'll take it
As an insult
Be offended that you're even alive

You're too offended to be alive!

Scratch at those walls
Until your fingernails bleed
You know you're only gonna waste your time
Tall walls of time
Now are calling you home
Feel them hug you, it can feel...
Sublime!

As your organs decay inside your body, today
Take a second to remember this:
Your heart just moves around your blood, silly girl
Your brain is what you use to kiss.

waste of time, waste of breath
inimical, i am, to myself--
what gentle ***** are you carving now?
or adjusting your machine, now resting
on the bed... the gentle *****
of your neck
pulsing with life.

look for the normal,
see the world cracked open?
i found a new normal--
over your house
in the sands of your time
in the mellow of your mood
in the warmth of your body

normal can be odd, like us
no mastered world would then confront me
and tell me differently
though i suppose with authority
it could sure correct me.

we live in close-knit communities
but love to travel far away
bringing back the spoils of experience
offering ourselves to the lord

and normal can be even, like them
like i said, tell me differently
bring me to my knees
and show me the error of my ways.

hungry for
the hollow gas
of fame?

hungry for
a thick,
eternal
flame.

filled frame
better roses
finer stories

filled glasses
open sockets
quiet sunshine

felt in organs
not deciphered

dealt with in harmonies
and not some sick,
twisted business

Don't imbibe something a
****** idiot swallows angrily...

Drink it slowly, and
Dive into something articulate

//

Make a real intentional effort.

Make art. Rise into existence.

//

This universe reaches North,
Expanding reality.

when convoluted patients start convulsing
do they expect to find a tool
between the spasms of disorder?

when fictitious accidents lead to homeomorphisms
can i warp emotion gently around you?

is there a secret reserve
in the hyperbolic folds
of your unjust world, one deep enough
to bring it all back home?

or will you meander to the south,
float to the feather like a ground,
and rest there
with your quiet bones?

Stir up something stronger
In my mind,
A mind you tower over
A body dancing inside
Pull yourself out of yourself
Pull yourself into your blood
Resonate the sanctum

And stir up something stronger
In real life,
I can see you tower over me.
I'll take your teardrop in my eye
And it will freeze
But my heart will melt
And work my hands rougher.

When we all realize how much stronger we are than each other,
Suddenly we all feel about the same strength.

it's been a while since 1984
i watched them pull the twisted wreck from the atlantic,
the virus we once called your heart--
it's been some time since the mainframe went rogue,
tore it apart

it's been a while since 1984
now, there are needles in my eyes
so i turn and run from the truth
blinding myself, running from

the sands of time make Ares blush:
the sands of Earth are green and lush,
i remind myself
as chains pull up

it was the missing part of a war machine
it was the instance where you could, and did
it was the fatal blow that killed a king,
the pipe dream of some hipster kid.

you're a ******* though,
and you know it
but you carry on with this *******
because you just can't take it anymore,
and you just think that's really cool,
or something...

i guess--

yeah.
different points of your life are so **** awkward,
but you live to pierce the atmosphere with your ruby glow
or ride through the night on your burrito-bought CR-V
you pray for fame but you won't receive it if you don't work for it
you just have to get through this time
oh, what a *******

i love not knowing

feeling up the walls with thoughts of you
i love not knowing what you're doing
i'd almost ask you not to tell

i love to wonder what you're doing
and thinking of your feet
in holey socks

but knowing's better
because it's the ***** of your neck
and kissing is even better
because, your little golden hairs in the sun

...

they're ours.

they belong to the whole human race,
like scars.

they swim out of my love
and they're all that you will find
if you pounded on my vision
and began to crack the sky.

I miss a nest
Of frizzy hair
Oh, yes I do
But it doesn't matter

I heard someone crying but I was a ghost.

I sat and watched them.

I couldn't understand what it was about.

The trees standing around
Were just as eerie at night
As in broad daylight

Pieces of me falling off:
Flaking skin
Bits of bone
Nervous slop

I wonder what it's all about

...

The moon cuts into your sky like a vanilla flavored razor
Wrapping your ******* blanket of warm sugar saliva and blood
Like a balmy breeze,
Blowing over a dead body
That wants feeling but can't rejuvenate

But hold a babe to this sugar moon at the right angle--
A saccharine disc atop such decadent confections,
Or a drug wafer melting in the glass of Bacchus
Who was engaged in vibrant conversation with my own friend Apollo
All of these pleasantries
Rest assured, were meant to be

...

I'm sorry but your tears reminded me of my own
When they ran over scars from the moon nobody could understand
And I cried because I'm not a millionaire
& I'm scared
I'm scared
Because moon tears
Don't exist

Why haven't you stopped scanning my social media
Looking for anything you can use in your web of lies?

I hate you, and fully expected you to be an adult and let our past be our past.

You are so crazy,
In a way that I could never be,
And you can't intimidate me anymore from speaking the truth.

I may deal with things in my own weird ways,
But you really need a diaper
You are power tripping
You were when you wrote those lies
This is all that type of an emotion for you
Matt can't just be an ******* to me and get away with it

Eat my shorts, *****

I've got the TRUTH on my side.

It is VILE that you defend your lies THIS DEEPLY.
I would never defend lies the way you are defending yours.

I never wanted this with you.

I wanted to remember the good times.
Now your stupid name makes me sick.
Now I'm going crazy about my reputation
But you know what?

I'm not listening to my parents or ANYONE
Because I KNOW THE TRUTH FOR CERTAIN
I will keep speaking to exactly what happened and you can't scare me BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING.

Let it go.

Become an old lady.

Then,
Find some more dirt to lie in.

When teeth sink in it feels the same, only red
Red that matters, iron fountain

Then teeth fall out and the eyes know the end
Black and shallow color, it doesn't matter
When the brain can't keep it in

I feel so sublime when my body twitches along
To your radiant music

Then a flash of rouge leaves me stranded in time
Til I find toxins to bind to again
And wash back into the river

sometimes traumatized people
develop a sick addiction
they love to suffer in silence.

you know, the world is a trauma
it bruises the conscience
aware that you'll die
well then, why even bother?

for some of us **** fits like lock and key
for others the mission
was one for the annals

for others they nap while the puzzle awaits
looking golden,
they let it fade
day by day

what a sad fate for them,
so lazy and frayed
to choose your demise
when you could choose to win.

I hide
My lack of serotonin
I feel good as I did
As when I was young

I am ever so sprite
And alive
I feel vital
It's a sign of the times
Being human,
So worth it.

You're sickening
The sugar bubbles from your mouth
And you stare at me with seething, yellow eyes

You couldn't compact all that hypothetical emotion into one human being,
It wouldn't be right

So you look at me with these yellow eyes with flickering hips and melting,
Perfectly formed lips
You're flickering,
Flickering this.

You're sickening
Black burnt sugar
The sweetest thing I ever tasted

A girl with a funny name
From central pennsylvania.

There's a sweet lamb but you have her in a cage
There's a sweet boy but you broke him in a rage
There's a taste here. When there's a spot there's a taste and when there's a taste there is a spot,
These days I'm just trying to figure out what I'm not

You're attractive,
But you're dangerous
You're a sin,
Just to taste this
My advice,
Be patient.

Chew on a root for a while, human
Better for the mind
Deeper than a sugarpill

Drop some jagged wisdom on the slanted eve
Press your brow into the horizon
See the colors that will melt away

Take the harder path, the one you know you should
See the smaller man, see how he towers above you!
I won't be famous 'til I'm dead
And I hope you won't lament the things we may have missed...!

Walk the narrow edge to the finer grove
Sail the hurling sea, far above their sunken bodies
Take to the sky, against the advice of your aging father

You are more than what you are.
Won't you make the sky a doctor?

i think it's vile,
the way i've twisted and snaked
this priceless vine
through Life
i think it's priceless
the vine
bound looser than that--
watch me reach
watch defiance
now,
drink my failure

it blossoms still with my continuance
ofcourse/offcourse
allowing novel mutations
still solidifying my nature, still
distilling my love's
hot flame.

Without shoes

You can play with my skeleton
She's got bits of diseased meat stuck to her
I know you wanted a kiss
But well, there isn't much left.

With a twinkle in your eye you said,
"We'll see about that."
And oh sir, I didn't mean you any harm
But you had to step away
And you set the twinkle on the ground by my feet
In case I ever needed a reason to smile on a rainy day

My eyes watched it all crying septic tears of shame and guilt

No one should ever have to go down like this

So play with my skeleton
And what a romance it would be
If she danced like she used to
When I still ******* believed.

sometimes i do--
i expect you
to get over my problems
and stitch me into your world

come on,
just take it with a grain of salt
and accept me.

but i know--
i threw a body forward
sometimes with love and sometimes not
sometimes like a star and sometimes like a black hole
and i promise you i'm sorry for it
if i could just see
if i could just move

if i could find
another thirty minutes somewhere,
i'm sure everything would find me
all that's left
is just to sing.
/

you play with arrogance and humility like some sort of mad chemist,
scared to call you a virtuoso for all the places you go.

bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic
you're in and out of consciousness
clinging to a cute raft
slowly melting in the sun

oh, just push me over
my ego will give you one
last
good
scream

i wasted my time
what a shame
now just silence that whiny voice
'cause my ears are ringing

Sometimes you can wear just
ORANGE,
But it is a bit much.

You can make it work,
But maybe it feels a bit...
OVERDONE.

Like from the rip,
It feels like we've talked about this way TOO MUCH.

Like,
I've never been the OBVIOUS ONE
The one that you seek or the one you expect...
And sometimes if I'm feeling it I can turn RED,
But down towards the bottom and off to the left--
That's ORANGE,
That's nothing's wrong with my head
I'm just different you know it you learn to accept
Orange obnoxious amazing in bed
Orange orange orange

No, I don't love you
No, I don't want you
I just can't trust you
No, I don't love you.

Yeah I'm too cold now
I don't even know how
I'll give her the low down
I'll make her explode now

No I don't want you
I can't even trust you
You gotta go now
You gotta blow now

Just want to love you
The way that my hands do
I don't even know why
Just stare at the **** sky

i wish i could shatter your crooked little heart again.

you paint a pure, innocent caricature of yourself
i was letting my cruelty and neglect sting my brain
when your letter arrived at work.

you cleaved away my job with your lies.

i stopped the stinging short.
your carefully constructed poison darts were successful,
you cheered when they found their target.

corrupt daggers of hypodermic hate
with little red flags of feigned victory, and you know it's true

were they harbingers of justice
there'd be a different chemistry,
but i don't have those chemicals
in my body.

how pathetic did you have to be,
that you stooped even lower
than me?

wish i could pull the pulsing red from your chest--
i'd look you in the eyes
and stomp your heart to death

and we'd both know what transpired
and we both would understand
because i know you don't believe your lies;
you set your goal to break my life.

above the sewers there was a massive city
it contained some beautiful things
above the sewers
there were families and restaurants
and romances and paintings
there were lovers and travelers
fighters and believers
above the nasty smelly sewers

above the city there was a sky
and they say that maybe eventually
somewhere
more sewers

oh i have it,
i'm just not giving it
oh, i heard you
i'm just not listening
oh, i'm a star
but i'm just not glistening
i've got a lot of love
for the kids who ***** and hiss.

an awkward body
can't convey its rights
she thinks it's funny
when i can't fly right
she thinks it's cute
and she kept her poet pet
no, go ahead
because i understand

i've got no ground
on which to stand

well, it was great
it was a priceless day
but i'd never let my dreams leak
in through the wallpaper
or float across the horizon
gleaming on the other side
of the mattress

you are like ice into another dimension,
where everything goes to freeze and be perfect
you are like the love of my life
only different
deader
containing the definition of anything that tries to be penultimate

collapsing the heads of babies
perhaps in that bedroom
she spins their deaths to a sweet scent

but i can never quite capture your essence
because you're not some viking queen
in fact, it was never about the turner girl at all
more just about this moment
right here

Stroking ego, don't disturb me
I'll cry real hard if you ever hurt me

Let's cut a deal as straight as we can afford:
I've heard about Kochs and Madoffs, Fords
And I'll scream real loud if you even scrape me,
But let's not lie
You can always escape me

And it's actually a pretty ...scary thought
The kind of thing that I think about lots
Cutting around my
Bloated ego
Trying to see the world
Correctly

As I siphon out this sick self-pity
And spit it in the grass for you,
I'm trying hard to see you normal
That **** don't hold up in board rooms

drugs or obstacles
do them all in a frenzy
they'll leave you high and dry
let's hope the good ones are in stock

you tripped on me,
i think i tripped on you too

connected and secure
then we are fallen apart
this is a delicate dance
let's do it on our hands!

you tripped on me,
i think i tripped on you too

or we can just listen to R.E.M.'s "Stand"
i'm not gonna panic, i'd rather just dance
i'm not gonna trip,
you tripped on me.

i think i tripped on you too,
but i'm choosing not to talk about that right now.

these puzzling coincidences
are really just the angles at which **** hits you,
things you feel really strongly about

confirmation bias is a *****
you are not the ******* antichrist

pull me through the gates of old troy
let rose petals leave my mouth
like fractal horses running
like that fourth horse repeating

scary thought, that i
should own a piece of sky
my cousins and their steeds,
stampeding from on high

but that was just the rain
what men did unto men...
well once you're past the pain
you're pining for the pen

Only you can:
Make a fool of yourself
Fix this mess
Prevent forest fires

Smokey the bear can't save me now
I'm gonna need to leave this one behind
She stood by the forest with sad, sad eyes

And just as I'm tracking the miles
A molotov cocktail fell thru my sun roof
And I got scared
Suddenly I look a lot
Like smokey the carnival bear (set free, and your love is anemic...)

I told her, I wouldn't care
I just need to cut out all the extra ****.
Flicking lighters
Just to show it's lit
Let yourself see the amazing animal inside
A heart of compassion, winnow that pride

Whatever she does,
You were the one
So act like it

So what Matt did was pretty simple,
And very awkward,
He told her that he wasn't trying to be in a relationship
Because every time he does
He tries to leverage the commitment contract to vent his distrust of anyone
He gets too jealous and crazy

And so she listened and agreed
I guess because it all made sense to her
It wasn't her favorite topic
But she knew he needed to get a place of his own to feel okay.

if you don't close those curtains soon,
i'll end this show myself!
i've got actors & entertainment galore
i've got music and philosophy,
gut-wrenching emotion.

all behind these lids.

my festering mind hisses and spits
stunted by itself
chemical burns and sleep deprivation
paralyzed by a world
it doesn't want to believe

In her life, there was a sinking feeling
You never get time back when you've been mistreated
And the boy that should have loved her,
But his heart had turned to stone.

In my life, there was a sinking feeling
You never get time back when you've been the weakness
And the boy that should have loved him,
But his heart, it turned to stone.