sometimes i don't think
i panic
spout gibberish into the night
call it life

you play with arrogance and humility like some sort of mad chemist,
scared to call you a virtuoso for all the places you go.

bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic
you're in and out of consciousness
clinging to a cute raft
slowly melting in the sun

oh, just push me over
my ego will give you one
last
good
scream

i wasted my time
what a shame
now just silence that whiny voice
'cause my ears are ringing

she
wrang
Bobby Brown's
neck

she
wants
ke$ha to
herself

she's there
waiting
with a gun.

I miss a nest
Of frizzy hair
Oh, yes I do
But it doesn't matter

I hide
My lack of serotonin
I feel good as I did
As when I was young

I am ever so sprite
And alive
I feel vital
It's a sign of the times
Being human,
So worth it.

drugs or obstacles
do them all in a frenzy
they'll leave you high and dry
let's hope the good ones are in stock

you tripped on me,
i think i tripped on you too

connected and secure
then we are fallen apart
this is a delicate dance
let's do it on our hands!

you tripped on me,
i think i tripped on you too

or we can just listen to R.E.M.'s "Stand"
i'm not gonna panic, i'd rather just dance
i'm not gonna trip,
you tripped on me.

i think i tripped on you too,
but i'm choosing not to talk about that right now.

In the presence of wolves, they kept close to their guns.
In the presence of love, under the watch of the sun...

But it was said in the hills wolves held thrones over men.

The worried banter
Of paranoid minds,
And not a hair
Would ere you find!

...

But should you eye
Up my canines
And point that thing at me...
I do not skulk about with wolves
So should I keep my teeth?

But I don't walk around this town
Looking for a link
Starting conversations
About teeth,
And what I think...

he doesn't want to know
his clothes are rags
or they deserve to be
when he doesn't care about the five dollars to buy the tool to fix his car
i did
but also,
did not
in so many ways i bought alcohol instead
decades later
he is vomiting, retching down the road
they don't feel bad
but they are disgusted
because they know
he chose this for himself

we string our pasts along behind us
like his decrepit old toy train on a rope
to others
they are jokes

they just care about the brawn
they want a fine and well-spoken soldier
well i've got one thing down

i can't say i love you

i'm peeling back my flesh to black
so i can Understand
so i can **** It Up
i don't love you anymore
stop bothering me
i just want a place to stay
i just want a place of my own

i don't
*******
love you

above the sewers there was a massive city
it contained some beautiful things
above the sewers
there were families and restaurants
and romances and paintings
there were lovers and travelers
fighters and believers
above the nasty smelly sewers

above the city there was a sky
and they say that maybe eventually
somewhere
more sewers

pull me through the gates of old troy
let rose petals leave my mouth
like fractal horses running
like that fourth horse repeating

scary thought, that i
should own a piece of sky
my cousins and their steeds,
stampeding from on high

but that was just the rain
what men did unto men...
well once you're past the pain
you're pining for the pen

This vacancy is different
Not expectant
Heavy with doubt
Silent like the rest
But with splotches of color
From images burned
As lights burn their foes to your sight
Splotches of confusing light
Settle into my brain
Which is peeling up from the back
Swarms attack my house
Which is crumbling from the basement
Satan swallows my body
Whose inner feet are curling at the poison

YOLO
doesn't apply to me
because I
am a cat,
and cats live nine times.

(the poem is over)

YOU *******' *****,
look at you!
reading poetry

*****

like i'll never leave your side
like i'm broken inside
like moonlight
like baby food and formula
like love
like the moral of a thousand words with eddie murphy
like me
like you
like anything except whatever matters
which, by the way
was always nothing,
no one
is safe

or nevermind, i guess
if you're safe you're lucky

and yes i agree
it is stupid to look at things
in such a negative way,
let me play with your head
now go back out

these puzzling coincidences
are really just the angles at which **** hits you,
things you feel really strongly about

confirmation bias is a *****
you are not the ******* antichrist

die ***** i hate you

These days, my veins choke on the poison
My crumbling lips could never afford you
These obtuse vestiges want recognition
But their arms just flail about
Not even feeling for a turnaround
Just twitching there, like a crushed bug

How very sad for him

But my relentless core
Was spun around yours
To the point where your face
Is graffitied over Polaris
And every sunrise pour a splash of you
Into my morning coffee

No, not today
But maybe eventually
You could be my girl.

No, I don't love you
No, I don't want you
I just can't trust you
No, I don't love you.

Yeah I'm too cold now
I don't even know how
I'll give her the low down
I'll make her explode now

No I don't want you
I can't even trust you
You gotta go now
You gotta blow now

Just want to love you
The way that my hands do
I don't even know why
Just stare at the **** sky

A brother told his brother
He was nothing

They were gods.

It was an act
It was the first offense

The elder brother banished him
And said, brother
If I am nothing
What does that make you?
And shut him away

His definition was sealed
His value nullified,
A crass and heinous thing to do for sure.

Now the two brothers
They talk to each other
In my body
A something
In between.

The light's already dancing
On you-- dancing like a fire,
Holding our potentials
Though we surely haven't met.

I can see us dancing
In the middle of the winter
Chemicals reacting
Casting shadows of regret.

Where is the brick that gives way
Where is the secret passage-way?
Where is your husband? Far away,
Off with my head.

And with your stockings on the floor,
Don't think I ever mattered more
I'll be the stars inside a boy,
Too much to live.

Help me
Make sense
Of this.

they say it's best to live with no regrets--
i haven't much to give you yet.
just give me time to straighten out
i ****** the turn,
i've much to learn

i'm driving into your sunset--
it's yours because you wear it well
floating intricacies into the Deep
like you tried to teach me
but i couldn't see

i've evolved into the consequent man

you can tell by the way
the orange light
touches my eyes

whether you're coming back or not, old friend
i will make you mine.

i love the way you think,
i just wanna *** inside you.

woke up wanting ecstasy,
let's not.

let's first get to the party
let's grow our mind green
and learn once again
to feel
a beat.

woke up wanting ecstasy,
brought your laptop to the lobby
looked for jobs
(and not just hobbies)
looked for love
and not just drugs.

yes,
but some holes have brains in them, too.

and i'll be ****** if i don't do something with this.

wrapped my love in cellophane
told her to shut up and shoveled up her grave
come, hummingbird
fly up to a flower
to taste the delicious nectar
inside

inside,
inside,
inside.

wrapped my love in cellophane
no more incongruent pain
no more hypocrisy
just rock your hips with me
just lock your jaw with me

we'll spend some hours in the waning sun
well, maybe you're not the only one

more than a sycophant
far from a martyr--
i knew how to wear
the clothes of my father.

Chew on a root for a while, human
Better for the mind
Deeper than a sugarpill

Drop some jagged wisdom on the slanted eve
Press your brow into the horizon
See the colors that will melt away

Take the harder path, the one you know you should
See the smaller man, see how he towers above you!
I won't be famous 'til I'm dead
And I hope you won't lament the things we may have missed...!

Walk the narrow edge to the finer grove
Sail the hurling sea, far above their sunken bodies
Take to the sky, against the advice of your aging father

You are more than what you are.
Won't you make the sky a doctor?

i am aware of the psychobabble

Sometimes mornings rise up natural,
Times I wake up in their light
Flowers blossom with each action,
Set aside my love each night

Loving leads to satisfaction
Governance and all its might
I hope the spring alights you
Flowers
I hope our love is worth
Something

she asked to be buried in lingerie
and they did it for her, bathed in flowers
and told the children
before they came

crying, she balled up the letter
set it on fire
watched it burn on her bedroom floor

"you can take anything from me,
i'm over."

but she lied:
it was a year before she died,
and she hadn't given up.

want to praise you
don't just want to complain

I miss you sometimes
Like the smallest slice of the moon
That almost missed my eye

What do I do with this light
That just ends me like this

Why'd I pick up this piece of pyrite
Tonight?

Because those times can't be wasted,
They had to mean something
To me.
But then the shard sinks into the sea

They never meant anything.

I'm just being stupid again.

i remember how it felt to be young,
it wasn't like this.

adult life is feeling the twisted metal in reality's flesh
and not wincing, child
for once you've learned
that there is nothing
you can do about it

you see the broken side of man,
no one in particular
but you know the most admirable thing about it
is he wouldn't let them have him for a dollar
at the cost
of being completely disposable

still, it sits in you well
to spur them all on with every earnest beat of your heart
doing little kindnesses all the same

but science weighs heavy on your skeleton
with eyes maintaining meekness
in its waning stead...
science seems to steal from you what you had as a child
a blissful ignorance
and happy curiosity

science rapes your innocence
and leaves you an empty vacuum
hungry for things of science

you've gotten used to the ways of the world
and raised a callous to it
rare is the genuine prideful flag
but fly it
if you can
more than something to be known
oh, you knew it once...
again!

I'll let you know
If it ever happens
If I ever get over that big old hill

You'll see it in my eyes.

But right now
They're flitting about
Looking for
Or running from
The time

Peaches & cream
Every morning

Every ugly face
Met with a sweet bouquet

Mild
Holding in the burning ball of pain

Resting her petals
Here, next to me

But I can't breathe
I think I'm allergic
Or we caressed for a moment
And I scratched your skin up

I couldn't change the angle
You don't want to think about
Me leaving

How unfortunate for you
That you had to meet
How unfortunate for you
That she had to cheat

Yeah well...

She told me I had staircase wit.

It was way too late
Before I got over it!

Now I can't figure out
How not to obsess
When you're wearing
Such a tight black dress

When you're staying
So close to me
So please, darling
I'm on my knees

Oh what did you learn
And who did you kiss
And how did it burn
And who did you miss

I look over at her around 2 am and there are flames.

She stirred. She's constantly having nightmares fueled by past abuses
Traumas beyond any pain I ever knew...

But so much of his cardiac tissue has petrified...
The jagged edges cut into the soft parts as it tries to beat-- *******

I can't feel anything anymore.

The flames.

They're licking everything up
How does she just sleep through them?
Negating everything as the plasma shreds its chemical structure
Pulling apart molecules and sending them off into the sky

Licking my eyeballs, licking her face
Licking what it means to me, combusting this bed

I fill my rocky heart with as much guilt as I can muster, trying to contain these flames with an emotion
Up to my eyes, you know...
Trying to tell myself I'll put out that fire for good.

My eyes just sort of leak.
I watch the bedroom burn
My nerves pop and crackle
In the growing inferno

I become a marionette of the dancing fire
Confused by my own flickering actions
And sick selfish dialogue

Laying still, I watch my life get mocked by twitching shadows
And I can make the flames go away but they're there

my blood hits dead ends in my head
bouncing off inert doors
there is a man inside the room who hears the knocking
he is sixty-four
his feet are up
it's not the nicest apartment
but he is just tired.

sweet generosity spun me with her usual companion,
i guess you're well-acquainted with the smell...

you just knew it when i opened my mouth
t- t- to speak,

an honest and familiar chemical reaction
here on Earth.

well mama, i know you're sweet
but it's your bitterness that really gets me high
ever since i saw life from
...that other side

the side where you gave me the cash
and i spent it on ****
trading future solidarity for THC
losing our love
to a self-righteous heat death...

the side where a butterfly stood by
but never meant to laugh at jesus Christ

see mama? melting my body is easy
we both do it all the time
with sugar, water
or fate's many flames,
which cauterize the fortunate
so many things
that make me melt...

but i'm making brand new molds
(so scattered, mind the scaffolds!)
and if you want, when you feel lonely
you can run your fingers over it,
feel me working in time
and letting in shame
for a walk in my shoes

...to buy himself a new costume
for the party we've been invited to

with enough luck, i'll get really high
and apologize for not dressing,
tell them Rocky came to party

so what if i make the bed before i leave the house?
will my head feel more organized in a clean room,
will i be that much closer to the person
i want to be?

life's just a fairytale,
and i'm the cast of robin hood:
it's easy,
you just steal from the rich and give
to...
the needy.

but for all these Vagabonds! so wasteful of my grace...
oh, what a sad story to tell your mom!
when what you thought was grace
was just a lot of wasted time...
and that clever green outfit that made me iconic!
so convincing it was, that I was carrying off the goods
and sneaking them to a better place.

just another budding alternative artist, no?

but the whole town knew about it--
we all knew you were misled,
on some goose hunt pipe dream
whatever you want to call it--
so many of them get like that,
it's really a pain in my ***...

now the town has him surrounded
and we're just waiting to see
what he has to say for himself
i bet he doesn't expect this...
they're planning to use him for the heist!

(i know)

and isn't it sometimes such a rough art...
being human?

I see it coming
They want to take ME
and paint ME black.

I see it coming
That guy watching me,
Eyeing me up
Do you see him!?

He thinks he's so intelligent

He thinks he's ready to take me down

Find him, you know what's happening to me is wrong

Rather than have them raise me up just to lie about me and make me out to be something I'm not,
Stop that from happening and let me be known for who I am.

There is the way it really is,
And there is the way I see that you could spin it
I just feel vulnerable
No one is fully innocent but my life is void of heavy sins like that
I'm pathetic but I am not an evil person