Early July
and Judith sat
on the wooden fence
beside you

over looking the pond
which she called the lake
dressed in a plain grey skirt
and green blouse

her brown hair
brushed untidily
as was per norm
her hands beside her

balancing her
on the top beam
mum said men
are not to be trusted

Judith said
me included?
you asked
you especially

she said smiling
she didn’t mention you by name
just said men in general
and my dad looked at her

sideways on
pulled a face
then carried on
with his breakfast

a jackdaw flew across
the pond noisily
making Judith jump
****** bird

nigh on made me
wet myself
she said
following the bird’s flight

what made your mother
go on an anti men campaign?
you asked
watching two ducks

move across
the water’s skin
I think she saw us
coming through the woods

behind your house
yesterday after school
Judith said
we were too close together

mum said
but where she was
to see us I have no idea
hanging from a tree maybe

you said
don’t think so
Judith said smiling
maybe she’s spying on us now?

you suggested
Judith looked around her
then back at you
don’t say that

I almost had kittens
it’s not kittens
you have to worry about
you said

sunlight flickered
through high branches
birds sang
white clouds

moved slowly overhead
you touched her hand
with yours
felt her warm skin

her fingers
her short fingernails
she looked at the flickering sunlight
I know

she said softly
come on
let’s go near the lake
she said

and jumped off the fence
and so did you
and walked over
the grass

to the pond’s side
under a vast sky of blue.

"You're afraid of growing up."

Perhaps
but I see no shame in that
why would I ever want to grow up
if it means being
miserable
lonely
and drunk
like you,
Dad.
-

I killed then what I now love,

offended then what I now defend.

Practiced what I preached

but now I’m preaching something different.


I could care less about it then,

honestly,

but today I feel more alive than ever.


I dodged a bullet or two,

don’t get me wrong.

But the good die young

because they never belong

in a world of flesh,

where it’s “dog eat dog”.

And cannibalism is hidden

under a thick, sick fog.


Some said “maybe you should end it all”,

but perseverance stood me up tall.

And even if I have to crawl,

I swear to God

I’ll get there,

to the top of the mountain.


‘Cause I robbed Peter to pay Paul,

but don’t you know,

I used to be Saul.

"He was just a pity ****."
That's *******, you know that
You said it, that's a fact
Proves to me you're just a ****


He Helped you quit
You denied it
Cut to the core
sharpened your tongue
We've heard enough
You're done

I wish I was thinner,
and I wish I ate dinner.
I wish that it didn’t smell
like peanut butter in here.

I wish she’d stop talking.
Or at least stop stalking
outside of my door.
I’m so sick of her voice.

I wish I could sleep.
And I wish he would creep
in my bed and lay with me.
But he won’t.

I wish he would call
Or acknowledge me at all.
I wish I didn’t care.
Cuz he’s not that cute.

I wish I didn’t blame myself
for things that I can’t help.
Like not being thin,
and the loud girl outside my door.

And the fact that he doesn’t like me...

You're making me cry and I've only just met you

I hate you already

you're too nice
you're too beautiful
you're too funny

you're too perfect

for words

yet I keep wasting them on you

I want to not want you

but I do

I want to kiss you
all over

in your house

in my house

in public

in private

I want to peek at chu from afar
and drink you in when were up close

you smell so good

so so delicious

I could eat you for breakfast

I could sleep in your bed and make you hot cocoa

we could be afraid together

we could laugh and laugh

and laugh

I'm so awkward and
you
are too weird for words

you make no sense

we make no sense

I don't even know you

you don't know the real me

not yet

but you might if you keep this up

this act

it's so convincing

I want to believe you

in all of you and everything you're saying

I think back
and remember
it was so
wonderful

I worshipped that

it's a weakness

you're my weakness
now

I know what you're saying

it's probably not true

you just want it

like everyone's said

I mean I kinda want it too

and your lies are so good

your lies are exemplary

they're better then mine

so I'll play along

I have too

I'm hooked now

don't let me go
don't leave me
keep me here in this fake heaven
this cloud nine

I'm skiing your body with my emotions

I like it so much

I'll smile back

please

please just don't stop smiling at me


I think it will break me.

I'll keep a rag and dust pan handy

I've been told

I'm a fantastic sweeper

There's something about Luke that draws me in.
Maybe it's his sandy hair,
Or his pale blue eyes,
His bright smile.

Perhaps it's the way that boy plays the guitar,
Or his gentle laugh.
Maybe it's his voice,
And how he reminds me of the summertime.