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feel it inside of me.
I feel it being pumped through me.
I feel it moving like sludge,
Almost as if it’s mission is to slow me and my heart.

Falling into Abyss.
Falling into darkness where happiness is lore.
Falling into a vortex of nothingness,
Where there is no time or space.

The only way to continue is to hope.
The only way to live is to cope.
The only way to “be” is to absorb the emptiness,
And pray tomorrow is better.
Aye
I and Thou
Eye to eye
I and eye
I to I.
We sleep in seperate beds...

thousands of miles apart

and yet

we share one dream.
Memories of my school days,
I remember being in class,
It seems like only yesterday,
Now the years have come to pass.

Looking back in years gone by,
There were happy times and sad,
Playing in the school yard,
The lessons weren't all that bad.

I didn't like maths at all in class,
My favourite was always art,
I always enjoyed the break times,
A fight would sometimes start.

We had assembly in the mornings,
We would sing and we would pray,
Walk in single file to the classroom,
I loved coming home each day.

The happiest times of our lives,
They went so quick somehow,
My school days are all over,
They are all behind me now.
The feelings I had for you are finally fading
I’m so happy this hurt is ending
I’m moving on
Because my heart is strong
I don’t need you
I don’t want you
You’re finally out of my head
My heart no longer feels dead
I am now finding myself looking at you
I’m so happy, but you don’t even have a clue
You put me through happiness, confusion and hurt
I hope you’re the one who will soon feel like dirt
I hope that girl you like, breaks your heart
And I hope she leaves you in the dark
After that big storm that occurred weeks ago
My heart is mending and it’s not going slow
I hope one day you’ll get to read this
Then you will know what you’ve missed…

By Raena Kidd
When I fell in love with you
I thought I knew myself.
I told you all about who I thought I was,
and I might have been right.
For the time being.

Now I know that I don't know myself
and that everything changes
including my self.

I no longer feign understanding of who I am,
I just have to live and find out.

Words make things seem so simple. So concrete.
In 'reality', nothing is further from the truth.

I am a myriad of things which constantly change in a plethora of ways and which defy definitions.

Not only do I not know what will change, nor how, nor why,
but I also don't know when nor how quickly.
Not to mention what events these changes may set in motion,
or what motions they may stop.

It is evident that some things have changed.
In me. In you. In the world. For better and for worse.
Some things have indeed stayed the same. For better and for worse.
Some events have been set in motion. For better and for worse.
Some motions have been stopped. For better and for worse.

We need to allow things to change or stay the same.
For better or worse are matters of perception
and thus are relative to each individual
for better or for worse.
Only by letting go can we keep hanging on.
This world we live in,
It's not supposed to
Be that way.

Hell is supposed to come after.

Instead, we suffer through
Hell every day of our lives.

Heartbreak, lost friends, abuse.
The list goes on and on.

The very thought that
There is worse to come
Scares me out of my mind.

Is there truly another hell
Or do the "bad" people
Simply get sent back to
Earth as their punishment,
Forced to suffer life again?

That seems to be enough
Punishment to discourage
Wrongdoings.

An eternity on earth
Forced to deal with evil
People and forces all over
Again.
for better for worse
the club of Christian happiness is now open
patients are granted a place in heaven
dead or alive
the pharmacies are closed
doctors ***** their nurses in utility rooms
and paramedics race each other on the motorways
no tires spared
no lives to spare
the morphine of happilyeverafter has cured
all dead men walking

put
that
pill
down

your slippers on
remove your needles the plasters the bandages the tubes
[they’re all in your head]
lift your knee, now the other,
again
and again
and again
does it hurt?
good
'[the pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it]'
keep eyes forward
I’m here, by the lifts
I pressed the button
we’re going down, baby,
way down

put your hand up
right up
laugh and show death the finger
(not that one, silly, the middle one!)
what now?
now we walk out through the double doors,
rip off our gowns, our labels, our old selves
we make snow angels in the grass
then
do the ***** in the pool of love



[quote from The Walking Dead]
when adrenaline hits you fight or ..fly.
like the flap of butterfly wings,
and softer, smaller, thinner things.
golden shimmer blackened rings,
the tips of your limbs fluttering,
landed weightlessly on my skin.

tickling to my bone glowing hot,
you whispered in my ear, the *****,
hairs at end by winds collapse,
revealing secrets, treasure maps,
weak rubberband encircling snaps.

the spot was marked by sweat to graze
the endless fields of goosebumps raise
an image of a butterfly, it plays,
and whisked into my range of hair.

when i can smell the sound it makes,
and feel its taste in stomach aches.
the butterfly of the body shakes.
into its home, my heart, it takes.
and wraps in black my golden shimmer veins.

your breath the breeze that brought the butterfly's
wings to form to speckles of your eyes.
and lashes batting winked into the skies,
and kissing cheeks and spaces between thighs,
to make goosebump mountains to scale.


when you feel the flap of butterfly wings,
in your bones valley, in blood springs,
into your ear a hush, whisper, the insect sings,
and pulls you in by golden harp strings,
wrapped in black in ropes and rings.
a melody in passion, it begins.
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