You lay there like an angel

Something so exquisite

I can't let you go

I touch your still frame

Why did you do this ?

I  caress you just to see if you stir

You have been my everything for so long

Your hair is flowing

Angel wings protruding like the  ribs on your back

Starved  for attention

I wrap my arms gently around your soul

Whisper into your ear "Why baby did you let go?"

There are traces of white dust on your perfect little nose

The void in your eyes will never leave my mind

I always thought you were perfect

Now just so still like an angel ghost

My baby darling I'm  left behind

As you lay perfectly still

I say some prayers hoping someone,  somewhere can hear

I lift my arms so gently into the air

Smell the linger of your perfume coming  from your hair

Look into your delicate face one more time

From that moment you leave

I have never been able to replace you

It's been forty three days since I have been in a haze
Yet I walk around in a daze
Not sure what to do with my time
Could sleep for hours but the nightmares won’t escape

Your just one more addiction
That I’m not willing to take
If I swallow you down will I fall to the floor?
If I inject you into my veins would I thrive?
If I inhale the scent of you in a fine line
Would I bleed and would my tears dry?
Your just one more addiction that I can’t fake
The taste of you I could drink all day
Make me sober making me mad
As I hit the main line I need more
One look into your eyes I get hungry
I yearn for more
Swimming inside of myself
Drowning into you
Don’t know if I can survive another lie
Your just a risk that I can’t take

I am a woman

Proud of me

Afraid to take chances because of what could be

I am only 32 a mother of three

Been hurt so much its like a ******* disease

My heart is good I mean well

I love too quickly and learn slow

My soul is uneasy

My hair is a mess

My eyes are blue I like them the best

I try to be honest and have lots of faith

Sometimes its hard and it causes me to ache

I am who I am and nothing more

Either you like me for me

Or you can go out the door

I can be to loud at times and push you to the extreme

I can be wild and I can be meek

I am a women of all sorts

This is what defines me

I will not be ashamed

I shall overcome the fears I have

Facing them all along the way

The music settles into my soul I hold you not wanting to let go
I may not know for certain
What will happen in my life
I know for a fact I adore you
As the candle light dances off our bodies
We make one I look into your eyes
Needing your touch one more time
To make sense of this life of mine
To answer all my why's
Deep into the night
Its you I want to see in the morning light
And in the evening making it all right
Touch my face hold me as close as you can
You make me feel youthful in so many ways
Make me alive
I'll make you mine

I like early in the morning everything is fresh and new

I enjoy the smell of your perfume and waking up next to you

I love the sound of your laughter it takes away all my blues

I have so many memories that all consist of you

You and me make two

Then you went away from me and left me all alone I can't seem to find you

We had a love like no other

I loved you better than any other

You would delicately dance so graceful and pure

Your soul is that still near?

I know you had to go away sometimes I may forget your name

May I call you dear? I wonder when I grew old and my hair turned this color?

I look out this window that I now call home

Its not the same without you

Do you dance about so delicately like you use to?

Have you remembered my name and my tender ways with you

My body is so feeble and my mind is too

I am sorry if I forget I don't mean to my mind isn't what it use to be

Either is my body? I sit in this chair I cant hardly move my legs

If you come home right now I couldn't dance anyway

I look at myself and wonder where the years went

Being so young and growing so old

I don't think I look good in old man clothes

I hope you hear me at night when I pray sometimes I cry and want to go away.

I will see you once again up in the sky I can remember the day you died

My heart was broken I no longer cared I miss you like crazy and the wonderful smell of your hair.

I am going to come and see you just wait for me I will unite with you

Have no despair in the mean time I will wait for you

Hoping and longing to have you near

I love you and miss you dear

Melodies weaving tragedies on tightrope bones
As I  cross the scar tissue bridge my grief reverberates
Lacerating the fabric of my beliefs

You are like everything I have ever needed,wanted or desired

Like the 4th of July

Or  a cool soothing rain

You are the reason I exist

The sun that sets way up in the sky

Your my dream come true

Almost to good to know

Its like Christmas every single day

I shall let you unwrap me discover what it means

I let you live in me

See inside my heart

The wind tickles across my face as I step out into the winter night

Your arms embrace me

Making  me need you more

You sleep so peacefully I watch your eyelashes against your skin

Fall in love with you all over again

Wake up in our babies arms

I dont wish for you to be any different then you already are

I will shout I love you from the highest mountain top

I am the luckiest girl

The stars in the sky couldnt make me any happier and

Your the reason why

I scrap and peel the patchwork of the earth
Half written dreams dust the floor
In the crook of her neck we drown
Secrets eat away the floor
The petal of her taste nips the winter pain
Bird travelers taste the treetops
Torn like a page from the language of your touch
I'd split my bones to place you indside
The day seemed so young as the floors begin to moan
A hummingbird sobbing in the deepness of time
As the night dreams

I would like to conceal myself in the bottom of the earth  
Tasting and smelling dirt
I may be cold or would the earth heat the soil?
Could I feel wind underneath the warmth?
Will my eyes flow freely as the tears pour down?
My body will ache with desire but it has no use
I will have no sense of time
In a slumber that is my mind
Nobody could take that away
Peace that fills my space
Oh so silently without abuse
Who’s voice would I hear
Perhaps it could be mine?
I have not heard it in so long would I recognize the sound?
Can I hide never to reappear

I awaken a frail poet
Writing dissolves love
As one dances to his death
Under fresh flowers
Conceals the light of poetry

Broken beautiful yet exquisite
As love spills into repulsive awareness
When the vicious exterior fades and awakens you
These moments delight, yet torment you
The sweet open wounds
The secrets vanish
You can’t repair damages once it is done
Run and be free
Drink up what’s left of my love
But do not give it back to me

I have a house made of paper

A house made of dust

When you put your hands on it there is nothing to touch

Gathered all the strength I had

Put it into this

Composed what I thought I knew

Existed as this

Crumbled falling and poor

Lost along the way my home hit the floor

Searching for something so I know I’m real

Looking to the streets

Looking for a meal

Put this bottle to my lips

I’ll be warm for awhile

My legs are tired my soul is asleep

Then as darkness comes there is a job for me

I’m full of shame bitter and hate

I can defeat

I study the cracks along my path

That I have walked so many times before

I see the same old man

Looking for his dreams under the stars

I look for a moment just to see

When the next one will come for me

Up against the building so cold

I fall to my knees stuffing the twenty dollar bill into my jeans

As this stranger walks away

I raise my hand to the sky and I begin to plea

Save me from this hell I’m in

Wash it away take my sins

I pick myself up off the ground

Go to a little coffee shop just down town

The people stare at me all battered and cold

It Burden’s my heart just to let you know

I want to shout I was once was like you

My house crumbles between my fists

I take the warm coffee let it hit my lips

The lifeless color in my eyes

As I look at my reflection I ask why?

Out into the cold September night

Wrapping my arms to cocoon myself in

Fighting for what

Will I ever win?

As I drift and my mind roams

Looking into the next day

The winter moon will be coming soon

Will it ever erase the pain I feel

Or take me back to what was once real

Something solid something I can feel

As I close my eyes heading for shelter

Hiding behind my enclosure

The rain starts to fall ever so light

I feel the need to just fight

As the streets call my name

Tonight its my only friend

I study the brick like a piece of art

Where and why did this begin

To the stars and tears that fall along my way

Give me hope for one more day

You sure look pretty in that shade of blue
When my hands touch you and what they make you do
When will you listen to the sound of my voice?
Do I need to drown that defiance out of you?
Let me touch your ******* whenever I feel
Don’t act like you don’t like it
It will be fine
Close your baby blue eyes
Want me to cover your mouth?
Nobody will hear you scream
If you do I will really show you what I mean
The scarlet blood is so pretty on your delicate face
Are you worthy for anyone but me?
I don’t think so and you’ll never be free
Come here be on your knees
What you have a word to say
I don’t think you will be heard not today
Look at what you made me do
Now go and lay down and then we will be through
With that pretty shade of blue that brings out the black in those eyes
You know I have no patience
I will not wait for you

My passion is vanishing ,splintering on this battlefield
I changed my makeup and I fixed my hair
I'm grasping at cords and stretch marks
With your **** teeth you have me down on my knees

I do not whisper in the shadows

Or look beyond the sunken sky

I only wonder what happened to you and I

When did my search be empty as can be?

Did someone forget about me?

I shall not forget the darkness for it always prevails

But I can only be what is  true  for me

Another woman who struggles everyday

To weep among the lonely

Fight with no gain

Celebrate on the outside as I slowly melt away

I shall stand beside you

I will honor you

Let you have a voice

Let you speak your mind telling stories of when you were 9

Your golden hair is so pretty and pure

I lost myself in the blue of your eyes

I have no self control when it comes to you

I hold our baby son he is all you

My insides weep for the day that we found out

You may die

Gathering the strength we had and moved forward

I didnt think it would last that maybe it would go away

I watch you everynight as your weary head hangs low

Amazing your still so strong

I cant let you go you belong with me

What to do if you leave

I'll have no purpose or no cause

I just want to spend my days with you

I bring you daisys your favorite flower

You smile at me like no other

Your hands are feeble you try and hold our son

He is getting to be to much for you

He just started to run

I know that you are ready

This seems like a lie

Maybe someone isnt telling the truth

There is a cure and it could work for you

Years of memories

I stand beside you as you close your eyes saying your goodbyes

One day I will be with you again

I'll love you until the end

I will honor who you are and tell our son about his mom

I cant even look at him without feeling sad

I will try and be the best dad

I stand beside you even after your gone

Loving you so much

Missing your touch

When the angel wings touch you as you fly with them

I will know that your safe

You dont hurt there is no more disease

Just a little girl about 9 or so

Playing in the fields

Letting the daisys tickle her toes

I shall love you

So I will let you go

What is the truth?

Who are we to decipher what is hidden inside

To make up the rules of what is believed to be the truth

Prehaps mine are different then yours

Sometimes I just want to give it all up

Head out the door

So many others telling me what to do

Want to hear the truth

Smell it on my tounge

Whiskey will do it

It always speaks for me

Not afraid of ones feelings

Makes it short and sweet

You have a simple choice either accept me for me

Or leave

Shall I repeat myself so that you understand

I will not be afaid of the certainty that I come to believe

Its all I can be

It is all ME