i stood out in the middle of the road in the california smog
paved concrete over a desert, we wonder why it doesnt rain
i dont think ill leave here.

i want to go to a natural cemetery, no graves
the earth will be soft and all that will be left is nature, overgrown
they helped build it and i will too.

the funeral was
in his bathtub. a single
guest and he wore red

i spent my teenagedom
checking on a book, in a deep deep vault in the basement of a library
yellow lights, with 1900s girl scout manuals
it is immortal. i am responsible for it

smoker's cough
cough syrup
syrup on pancakes
pancakes flat on the road
road signs
sign language
language is power
power-puff girl
girl with a flat chest
chest full of secrets
secrets of lovers
lovers kissing
kissing goodbye
goodbye for now
now or never
never leave
leave me alone
alone on a sunday night
night whispers
whispers like autumn
autumn weather
weather for sweaters
sweaters unraveling
unraveling thoughts
thoughts on peace
peace and quiet
quiet down
down the rabbit hole
hole in my head
head of the household
household of disfunction
disfunction in my brain
brain dead
dead serious
serious situations
situations avoided
avoided my problems
problems with me
me and you
you are nothing
nothing much
much different
different sides of the world
world keeps spinning
spinning like a record
record speed
speed dating
dating yesterday
yesterday is gone
gone with the wind
wind on my skin
skin deep
deep water
water bed
bed of flowers
flowers in my hair
hair so brown
brown like mud
mud pie
pie filled with cherry
cherry red
red blood
blood oath
oath by the river
river fishes
fishes swimming
swimming in tanks
tanks in the desert
desert people
people without purpose
purpose
purposefully making up my mind
mind your mother
mother knows best
best man
manly faces
faces i can't remember
remember this?
this is where i say no
no thanks
thanks for the memories
memories erased
erased the words
words caught in my throat
throat full of tears
tears on my cheeks
cheeks of ruby red hue
hue of blue
blue
blue
blue skies
skies are falling
falling in love
love you more
more than you ever loved me