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  Jan 2016 honeybee
katie
my lungs are heavy again; it pains me to breathe and my eyes have most likely lost their gleam. I’ve been burning candles in my room to try to put the light back in them, but the scent is burning my nose. This reminded me of how my throat felt when i tried to hold back the tears in class the other day when my hands kept shaking like my body was having a mini earthquake. they’ve always told us to “duck, cover, and hold” during earthquake drills at school, but what the hell am I supposed to hold onto if I’ve lost myself?
honeybee Jan 2016
yesterday,
i was the one
with firefly's wings
caught in their chest;
i was the sun
trying to shine
through opaque skin
and clouded smiles

tomorrow,
i'll be the one
with a smile
sickly sweet
it'll cause a
stomach ache;
i'll be the sun
so bright, it will
burn your skin

but today,
i am something
in between

today,
i am the sun
peeking through
rain clouds;
i am a chrysalis
hoping to turn into
something beautiful

today, i am me.
  Jan 2016 honeybee
Charles Bukowski
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.
honeybee Jan 2016
i. i wonder if the stars fight over who's the brightest.

the night sky is a canvas, covered in a million strokes. each shining star in this endless sky holds its own beauty in the masterpiece above us, thousands of miles away. without a single star, the constellations would not be the same shape. without a single star, the sky would not shine as bright.

dear, you are a star. you and i, we fit in this universe, shining brightly for all to see. even though we flicker at times, even though our light may become covered by clouds, we are still bright. we still add our own light to the night sky. without us, there would be no masterpiece. without us, the world would not be as bright.

ii. i wonder if birds mimic melodies to harmonize with others.

not every song must be a duet - a solo love song can be riveting, can be like an orchestra of sounds all encased in one single lover. the songbird can sing symphonies on its own, every note echoing throughout the forest finding its way into each animal's heart. music they whistle with honest notes are the songs that make a lover's heart soar.

dear, you are a songbird; you are a dove. every note you make with your voice is a song; every string of words you say are a poem. your song deserves to be heard, so make your voice louder, higher, stronger. do not hide behind the voice of others, for you are worth being heard.

iii. i wonder if roses grow thorns for a reason.*

they say every rose has its thorn, but they forget to mention that roses don't ask to be touched. the thorns are its warning message: it will harm you if you grab it. it is as if they're building a weapon, rewriting their genetic code to avoid being bothered. a sign to tell us to not hurt beautiful things, for they are armed with knives and sharp thorns.

dear, you can't expect people to just admire your beauty. a dog can understand no, but boys are worse than a dogs. if you keep acting like a daisy, you will keep getting your roots torn out from the ground, and boys will rip off your petals to try to find out what's inside of you. arm yourself, my love. roses need thorns to survive.

“dear, you are a star, you are a bird, you are a rose,” i tell her. “but most importantly, you are you, and you are important.”
honeybee Jan 2016
you keep tugging at my strings,
bending notes on my skin
whispering lullabies into my ears

my voice is out of tune,
i cannot harmonize with your
deep, kind voice for
mine is sharp and flat

i do not love as beautiful as you
i wish i could sing.
  Jan 2016 honeybee
a wildfire
how does it feel
when someone loves every
little
piece
of you?
even the broken parts.
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