To be depressed
And suicidal.
Crying at the littlest things
Being so upset
You'd end your life
To end your pain.
And some part of me
Knew
leave
now
I'd end my life if I stayed
I had the power
I have the means
And I just wanted it
To
stop
stop
stop
So I ran
I got out of that house
And I ran
To a friend's,
No one was home
Didn't go back
Run
Continue
On to the park
Farther
The woods
Old house
And I sat there
Sobbing
For an hour
Wondering why I didn't
Stay at home
And die
Why I was alive
If I had tried
To not be,
If I had hurt myself
And never told anyone
If I had tried
And almost done it
Almost done it
But hesitated
Why
I don't know
I wanted it to end
But I hit continue
Instead of give up
And gave myself a second chance
That goodness knows I don't deserve
I sat in the woods
And wondered
I told myself
The world would be okay
The world would be better
If I wasn't here
But I made myself stay
And I don't know why
Crying in the woods
I found thorns
Instead of razor blades
And stabbed my wrists
Stabbed my veins
Not sharp enough
But I can't go home
I'd die
So I stayed
And walked around
And I found my feet carried me home
So I went in
And
I found my blades
And I took them to the veins
But I didn't do it
I luv d
Somehow
Someway
I stopped
Myself
And I hit
Continue
For some reason
But I still wanted to
This is what it means
To be depressed
And suicidal