last night,
you asked me
if i was the falling star
who falls to love
darling, i couldn’t tell you
i couldn’t tell you
that i am more than
just a shooting star
because i was once an angel
— a fallen angel
who sinned for love

like a shooting star
that falls to the earth
i fall for you, i fall to love
lethal yet exciting
crashing with passion
burning away with desire
like a shooting star
that leaves the heaven
to be where it wanted to be
i fall for you, blissfully falling
i fall to love, rushing for love

la luna captured me
and i suffocated in melancholy
it reminded me of a lone wolf
down below, howling from afar
for the love it couldn’t grasp

the silence of the night
it keeps me awake
waiting for you at my bed side
oh it makes me ache

the silence of the night
the absence of your scent
i want you at an eyesight
empty space is a torment

tell me, how many
of your poems were about me
if those flowers that bloom
and colors your white paper
represents our happy memories
or if those gray clouds and rains
and hurricanes in your canvass
were our breaking points
tell me, those love poems
those hate poems, those drunk poems
those empty, those pleading
those happy, those waiting
tell me, how many
how many of your poems “were” about me?

the way you speak
the way you kiss
the way you grin
oh i read poetry in your lips

come to me sad soul
i do not promise healing
i do not promise saving
just a temporary shelter
for your temporary sadness
come to me sad soul
together we are alone
together let’s feed our starving souls
together in this temporary bliss

love of my life
let me be your
eternal shadow not
your temporary sunshine
love of my life
my queen, my lifeline
my love for you
is within every breath
of this lifetime

i’ve got the brightest halo
amongst the devils mob
and behind these smiles
are the sins i hide

i breathed you in
and filled my lungs
with every ash of you
inhaling every smoke of you
they say i’ll get sick
they say i’ll die
of too much cigarettes
but they didn’t know
i’ll die if i breathed you out





—you, my cigarette

i watched you slipped away
slowly taken away by time
the morning
you died in my arms
i didn’t know i could die
a million times

i’ll pull you out
of the blackhole
and if ever it swallows me
love, isn’t it beautiful
that together, we’ll get lost
in infinities?

starry eyes
starry smile
you’re a universe
on earth
too beautiful
too bright
for this world
maybe that’s why
you’re not meant
to stay

there is familiarity
in being lost
there is freedom
in isolation
i’m not scared anymore
trust me, there is comfort
in not being found

in between the words i speak
there are secrets that i keep
in between these lines i write
there are words i decided to hide

you are the bee
in my garden
i let you sting
my honey nectar
now i drip with
sugary words
dripping in my stem
your hunger
triggers my thirst
so you **** until
my last petal falls

nightmares and demons
creeps in the dark
lurks in my bed, in my head
pills, they gave me pills
to make them go away
oh doctor, your prescribed
medicines don’t help
the monsters are at bay
sometimes they are quiet
but fck, they never go away

rest your head
on my lap
the ocean waves will
sing you to sleep
sigh my friend
cry if you must
those tears are
the way to comfort
those tears will
cleanse your heart
let it all out and come to rest
for when the sun rises
flowers will bloom
from the tears you shed

you’re still here
why do i miss you?
but the words are trapped
afraid to reach you
if there’s a place
where unspoken words go
it’ll be crowded
with all the words
i wish i can tell you

all i ever wanted is to hear
you say that you’re jealous
secret love, when you do
i’ll stop this madness of
baring pieces of my soul
to people whom i tried
comparing you

i love you
so savagely
that i pluck
you out
of your roots
only to plant you
in my heart
and water you
with my love
but my love
turns out
to be lacking
so slow
you suffocate
in my ribs
you start
to wither
so i water you
with my blood
my tears
but still
not enough
so slow
you wither
so slow
you die
caged in my heart
i loved you
so savagely
yet my love
you died
.

i’m jealous
of the kid
who once lived
in this heart

a woman named Tomorrow
sits in the future
takes her time
as she awaits for her love
named Yesterday
little did she know that
Yesterday is gone
little did she know that
Yesterday is past
little did she know that
what is past... is gone...

there is an abyss within
your ocean heart
a depth only a few can grasp
and those who don’t fear
the swallowing waves
and those who aren’t afraid
to swim and dive
will be the lucky ones
to find the beauty you hide

.
its clearness is vague
i can’t figure the water
if shallow or deep
.
.

let these sobs
speak for the tiredness i’m feeling
let these tears
fill the emptiness i’m feeling
just let it be, let it be
eventually, the sobs, the tears
will soon tire and will finally
find their way to stop

it’s so hard
to walk the talk
when you are
as selfless as a candle
-burning yourself
just to give light
to others

you’ve tried to hide it
but it’s too late
i already saw it
the hesitation
the hesitation
in your eyes, in your voice
i told you it’s fine
to spare you from explaining
and to save me from shame
but i saw it, i knew it
the hesitation
the hesitation in your heart

believe me when i say
that these scars
are not a reminder of you
believe me, these scars
are a reminder
of how deep my love can be

i lost to lust
and let it win
now i feed myself
between your legs
hell indulgence
tastes like heaven
let it consume me
until i’m done

iloveyou
without a space
there’ll be no room for mistakes
no it doesn’t make sense
it’ll make no difference

let me
just this time
let me walk away first
spare me the heartbreak
of watching you leave
spare me the pain
of setting you free
let me, just this time
let me walk away first
let me feel the pride
of the one leaving
not the pity
of being left behind
let me, just this time
let me leave you first
i’m tired of watching you leave

lay me in bed of flowers
i want roses- white, yellow, and blue
i also want a red dress
put me a make up with shades of blue

keep the lights on
i want my place bright
sing me my favorite song
don’t leave me at night

let my friends- fake and real
say all the nice things
let my family cry and feel
all the sadness and loss that stings

mourn, mourn for me
give me your best cry
say you’ll remember me
with eyes of jeopardy

but on my last day here on earth
don’t make me feel that i’ve lost to death
instead please tell the afterlife
that i’ll bring sunshine and light

Hatred

your kiss felt like Judas,
— a betrayal
and if my forgiveness
is your pass to St. Peter
i’m telling you,
you better make friends
with Satan now

time and space transcend
you float in the sky
as thin as the air
the lightness of your being
made you feel like flying
no weight, not heavy
is it the same with being empty?
ease to unease, until it scares you
because the absence of weight feels like unreal
feels like you’re leaving the earthly being
while being heavy, pins you to the ground
closer to the soil, the earth, the more real
in moments where the soul can be pure
the unfamiliarity is threatening
and you’re left to wonder which is positive
the empty lightness of being
or the heavy value of existing

you are an expert at sorry
and i’m a master of forgiveness
ohh together baby
we make a perfect mess

this is not a poem
but a declaration
of defeat, a concession
the things i can’t change
the feelings i can’t make
as i comeback to this world
i’m not even whole, not even healed
from whatever diagnosis
from whatever disease
that sicks this life
that plunges the heart and mind
i swallowed pills, the happy ones
i even injected acceptance
i’m not even sure if it will lead to healing
or just a temporary silencing
of the chaos, of the storm
that lives within my soul
but whatever it might be
wherever it might take me
i now understand that not all lost battle is a defeat
and not all who concede are weak
and now is my turn, ohhh
i concede to this beautiful life

i’m tired of you leaving and coming back
and me accepting you like nothing happened
i’m tired of starting again and breaking again
and collecting pieces again and starting over and over again
i’m tired of investing then detaching
then boom it’s a ******* **** cycle
i’m tired yet i still go back and back and again and again
and forget and forgive again
i’m tired of you changing your mind
and me not even changing a heart
i’m tired, i’m so ******* tired
but I love you, i love you still
i love you with every ache of this heart
i love you with every stain and scar
i love you with every fiber of my existence
yeah i’m tired, but i said i love
and when i say i love you, i mean it forever

there’s a little light
peeking through
the small crack
enough to create
a spark, a fire
that will finally
set her free
and make her shine

the answers we seek
in history, has been taught
time and time again

This is me
and too bad
i am no Cupid
to shoot an arrow
into your **** heart
to make you fall in love
with nothing but all of me

you make me melt and burn
i don’t even know how is that possible
until you touched my soul
you say all the right words
and everything that comes out
of your beautiful mouth
makes me tremble with love and lust

what we had is beautiful
too beautiful that it seems like an illusion,
a dream, a fantasy, a conceit
too beautiful that it scares my existence
as if I don’t deserve this
too beautiful that it hurts so bad
knowing that everything
— even beautiful things
must come to a ******* end

you are my rainbow,
the beauty after the rain
the peace after the storm
you are my rainbow
turning black and white
into colorful hues
you are my rainbow
my glimpse of paradise
but you won’t even last

it’s been four months
since you closed your eyes
and never opened them again
it’s been four months
but i replayed that scene
over and over again
it’s been four months
since you left me in pieces
and I haven’t really collected myself
it’s been four months
since you’ve been gone
but why does it always feel like it’s just yesterday?

it lingers
amongst the pillow
the roses you left on the vase
it lingers
in the air I breath
on my closet
the scent of you
it lingers everywhere
leaving me yearn for you

from my sky
you pulled me down
now I’m your Angel in disguise

i thought it was the sun
but it was your smile
oh you’re a culprit in disguise
you stole the sun’s shine

akala ko ba pera pera lang
yung oras ko lang yung binayaran mo
pero bakit parang pati puso ko?
gago ka ba?
wag naman tayo mag- gaguhan
akala ko ba sugal lang?
oo nga sugal, sugal ng puso
kasi kung hindi daw pag-ibig
mas malaking sugal daw
o ano susugal ka ba? tataya ka ba?
sa gagong pag-ibig na ito?

in this lifetime
there is you and me
and once we were meant to be
but this is not our universe
and our story is a curse
and so the galaxies conspires
to take away what’s not ours — this love
this love has never been ours.

i touched your soul
and scribbled my name on it
love, you’ll never get lost again