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 Nov 2013 F White
Nameless
Contagion
 Nov 2013 F White
Nameless
Take caution when you peel back
the layers of my skull
and look inside my mind

The human psyche manages to be, perhaps
simultaneously
the most dangerous
and the most breathtaking
place to visit.

It houses every part of a person.

And not all of those parts are ones
we want to see.

There lives the nightmares,
the self hatred,
the pain,
the hollowed out shapes that were once called
hope.

It’s too late to turn now
shut the lid and
walk away pretending you saw nothing
until you believe it.
You are held in place
forced to watch as the black swirls
consume that person.

But even worse,
are the light parts.
The pieces of them still
filled with color
and signs of life.
The fire,
the innocence,
the good that refuse to be
taken.

Worse are these parts because
they force you to realize,
as you watch them try to survive,
that no matter their will to live,
blackness will always cover up light.

And as soon as you understand this,
a piece of your own mind
fades to black.
 Oct 2013 F White
Seán Mac Falls
Who said cemeteries are for the dead?
For those who celebrate such silence
A commotion’s something too.
Crow about the stones, smeared by sun  
All gawking formal and sharply dressed, rung  
A black congregation that drilled and sermoned  
My ears down to coffin nails beneath  
My feet, a voice that hung the wanting
Waves.  

And over head I saw the braised yearling  
Eagle bobbing past the undivided sun,  
Who tottled about the sky in circles out  
Of center, a wearing down of gear
Churning with the grave
Bruising birds, that spoke  
And wheeled over dusty  
Stones.  

Sea spray, leaning trees, slant  
Of cloud, spilt green grass of one  
Sided mosses all pointing which was to be —
The way,  

And leaving there, I saw the sign and it read:  
    ‘Ocean View Cemetery,’
Opens at sunrise —
Closes at sunset.
I want to unknow myself,
So that I can read my poems
And build up a picture,
Understand what people see.

I want to have an opinion of that person,
Without knowing wider context
Inner workings,
Motivation,
Or history.

I speculate, that perhaps I seem
Schizophrenic,
Perhaps I seem
bizarre?

If I didn't know me
Would I even want to read
that person’s work?
Or would I dismiss it as
The sentimental ranting
Of someone needy,
(self obsessed?)

Would I think
That person is
clearly ****** up?

Or worse,
Would I just think her writing is mundane
And not worth following?

Would I read one work
And judge all the rest,
Skip over the name
Whenever I saw it
Dismissing all, as trite and overblown?

I hope that I would recognise
A kindred soul.
It depends, I guess,
On who I would be
If I were not me.
 Oct 2013 F White
spysgrandson
I do not know why you moved to this side  
long ago, before your city became a **** zone  
maybe you knew something I did not  
you knew many things I did not, which I discovered
when you politely corrected my grammar  
though it was my native tongue,
and one you learned reading our newspapers,
watching our television
listening, more carefully than most,
to what the gringos said  
you told me tales of the arena,
usually after dinner, on your back porch  
when the shadow of the mountain covered our houses
like a quiet blanket, blocking out the blistering heat
of the desert day  
you would offer me a soda, always  
before my questions began  
your civility was strange to me at first,
the adults in my family barked and cackled  
your words rolled out like sweet liquid  
and left me wanting more  
I never asked why you had no woman,
you were as handsome as any man I knew  
later, years later, years of name calling later
I guess I understood,  maybe
that was why you left your home  
though the blind blood of bigotry
ran freely on both sides of the Rio Grande
and I knew you to be courageous
for when you told me the stories,
as the desert sky became violet and cool,  
and the few cicadas began their song,  
you boasted not of your dangerous dance
in the packed dirt of the ring,
but of the art it took to silence the beast  
the lost look in its red *** eyes
and the silent sadness you felt  
as the crowd cheered
another beautiful death
 Oct 2013 F White
spysgrandson
will I put lipstick on you  
when you lay still and silent
as the last morning
  
or will you pull the sheet
over my face gently  
with a surprised sense of relief  
when my final breath
marries the gray air
  
will it be in the room
where we slept
under the watchful eye
of children and grandchildren
their timeless images nailed to the walls  
ever present but mute
while they navigated worlds  
with horizons we would never see

or would it be in the
hallowed house of hospice
where palliative words like
“we will miss you”
“not long now,”
“you can go, it’s OK,”
float above the beds  
like birds stalled in flight  
riding unseen currents, but
soon to swoop down
to perch on mystic memories,
briefly,
before flying into
the karmic night
Listen.
Somebody is whispering a secret
She needs us all to hear.

Look.
She has carefully removed her heart, from her chest
with a sharp edged scalpel
And placed it on a plate
Beating feebly, drained of blood.
She anxiously awaits
Our inspection and response.

With each reaction
It beats with a little more conviction.
Just a few more
And she'll be ready to return it to its place.

Tomorrow
She'll remove her heart again
And hide it somewhere close
She has to make it harder
But she'll whisper where it is.
Will you listen?
Will you search?
 Aug 2013 F White
Daniel Magner
Pulsating ache from my heels,
don't hesitate to collapse
and peel off my clothes
wrapped up
used up
bruised up
Daniel Magner 2013
 Aug 2013 F White
Daniel Magner
Food is finally
a possibility
Daniel Magner 2013
 Aug 2013 F White
Chuck
Funeral
 Aug 2013 F White
Chuck
Vial taste lurks in the back of my throat
An overwhelming sense of dread shadows my soul
Push it away, man up, do the right thing!
It's not about you
 Aug 2013 F White
Daniel Magner
Orion's Belt
burns through the midnight quilt,
imaginary lines
like the scars on my thigh
and the one near my eye.
The doctor said I was lucky
to still have the ***** of sight
but I feel like it was lost
for I am
blind.
Daniel Magner 2013
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