life is not a race.
you’re not in competition with anybody.
not even yourself.
it’s a marathon.
your goal in life is to become more like Christ daily.

there is liberation in showing your authentic self.
no more hiding, no more trying too hard, feeling ashamed, feeling embarrassed.
there's no need to feel that way.
be authentic.

I wanna go on late night drives with the windows down,
blasting loud good music into the wind, to feel alive.
I wanna go to more art museums, to feel inspired by what people can make with their mind and hands.
I wanna laugh until my belly hurts, the good kinda hurt, to remember that it's good to have some humor in life.  
After a hard day, laughing it off helps.
I wanna go on more road trips with friends to the beach and to the mountains, to feel small.
That all my worries compared to everything else are just so little.
I just wanna live my life to the fullest, because it's worth it.

i've realized i have never or rarely shown my real self with anyone
but my family

and this upsets me
because it means
i am never comfortable enough
to reveal my innermost thoughts, emotions & fears
because i am scared i'll be
rejected, judged, and looked down upon

this is why i keep my true self
hidden

these days, i feel like i'm drowning.
stressed.
tired to even do anything...
feeling out of control.
like nothing ever goes right.
feeling distant from God, from everyone, actually...

i know i can come to God as i am,
but i feel too messed to approach Him or pray.
i'll be honest, i haven't genuinely prayed in a long time.
i've been setting my mind on earthly things, rather than of God.
i know no matter how messed up i am, God embraces me.
i need His embrace.
i need His peace.
i need His comfort.
God, i need You, more than ever.
i'm tired, desperate, lonely, afraid, anxious, worried...
give me more of You.
You're all that i need.

we all have 24 hours in a day
the thing is
how you're gonna spend those 24 hours

make it count