You tell me that You love me
that You just want me just as i am
that i can take off the mask
i wear so often in front of others
just to make it seem like i'm doing "good"
when really i am hurting
broken
weary
yet You still love me
even when i fail
mess up
every day
sometimes i feel like i don't deserve Your love
and i still question if i even deserve it
but You sacrificed everything for me
so i pray that i would be able to truly
love You in return
fully

sometimes i get scared if tomorrow is my last day on earth
so i reflect to myself
all those times i felt like i wasted my time
scrolling through my phone
doing nothing
when i could have used my time more wisely

like calling my grandma
who i haven't talked to in several months
telling her that i love her and i miss her

leaving a message to an old friend
picking up a new hobby
learning a new language
reading that book i still haven't finished but could have finished a while ago

i guess i could do all these things
but what matters ultimately
is living in the now
to seize the day
and make the most of it

everyone has experienced today in a different way.

i try to speak, but my native tongue is silence.

tell me about the things
you've been proud of
or wished you've could have done

"Sometimes I'm the mess.
Sometimes I'm the broom.
On the hardest days, I have to be both."
~Rudy Francisco

there's the saying that "time heals all wounds"
but what about heart wounds
the wounds that can't be mended by time