As I sat outside on this cold winters eve ,
Up to the sky travels my eye
The stars they do hide
But I’m not sure why
Then alone just like me
A snowflake it does glide
It tickles my nose
On its way by
I smile and watch
As it plays in the wind
Then after it’s done
To my cheek it lays rest
And as the tear it became
I heard Andrea’s name

Written by E. M. Rushton
January 2019

I can not see
what's in the bend
a head of me
No paddles I have
I can not stop
I take deep breaths
to calm my fears
The bend is sharp
And swiftly I move
My balance is weak
And over I go
In the water
and under I am
my eyes I keep open
to find my way
One last struggle
and up I rise
from the bend
and all is calm

written by E.M.Rushton

My inward compass gnaws at my heart if I’m going off course .

Little red bat
  said to cat
Lets play ball
Cat grabbed the bat
Swung like a brat
Well, the bat went flying
The cat started crying

Then the cat and the bat
laughed as they sat
On top of a big ant hill
They laughed till they cried
and then they decide
At ball they had their fill

Written by E.M.Rushton

The raging beast ,across it sweeps
Up it roared ,in smoke and flame
Now running scared , none now sleeps
We fight for life , the beast we tame

The sun is hot , our bodies weary
For days on end , this is our way
Its not for all , for most its scary
In soot of black , for rest we lay

My helmet for my pillow
And black soot for my bed
I dream of shade from a willow
But the forest , it is dead

Of twenty four , eighteen we spend
Our faces black , our feet so sore
We know no stop ,until the end
The firey one, you live no more

Written by E.M.rushton.
Aug 4th 2018

I wait for the breath of freedom
That awaits me after my last breath .

Written by E.M.Rushton May 2022

As the trees sang
The wheat fields waved
The Berry’s , they hang
Alone and unsaved

As the brook flows
The clouds sail by
The bees on the rose
Resting to fly

As the warm days end
And fall arrives
The colours ascend
Such a sight to our eyes

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 14th 2018

The air is cool
The Moon sits high
The night is black
As here I lie

The silence is eerie
My ears are alert
The sounds make me Leary
I'm scared and I'm hurt

Sleep forces itself , upon my eyes
I dare not close, for here what may lie
I here the crack of some branches behind
My dangerous plight , and my breath I cant find

The pearly white teeth in front of me glares
The coyote it growls, and at me it stares
Then just when I pray and think I am done
Is the lone wolf of silver, in the midnight sun

With movements so swift, as that of a hawk
He faces my enemy and as a shield he does block
With his head to moon, he cry's out a howl
The coyote backs off and away he does prowl

As the beautiful wise wolf turns his head toward me
He's mysterious but scary and I just want to flee
With a powerful leap into the darkness he's gone
This wolf save my life and now he's off in the dawn

Written by E.M.Rushton

You walked with me
For several years
Then one day
Came my tears

To let you go
Broke my heart
Today I know
We're not apart

For in my mind
You walk with me
But to others
They can not see

In the silence
Your voice I hear
It hasn't changed
From way up there

At night I look
Up to the stars
And see a twinkle
For there you are

When life is hard
I think of you
Then I smile
For you helped me through

I know again
Someday we'll meet
At heavens doors
And Jesus's feet

Written by E.M.Rushton

A white laced dress
Replace the soot
Shinny red lipstick
Heal the chapped
Delicate strapped sandals
Without steel toes
Feeling hands of massage
Instead of mine doing
Life saving compressions
Holding me tight
From emotions I fight
Oh , how beautiful it must feel
to be allowed to be woman .
My dream of it creates fairy tale vision.

The tears of my heart have gone unseen
Deep down within they flowed as a stream
While on my face a smile did show
The pain I felt no one did know

My heart was broken and blind you be
To the pain that lived deep down in me
In time I learned to it hide it so well
While like an ocean my tears continued to swell

I act like you want , so happy and free
You ask if Im better , and yes I agreed
When you turned your back to walk away
I wished for the truth if only I could say

Alone again I'm was better to be
Nothing to hide I could just be me
Another chance the truth to tell
Is gone again in anger I yelled

I lived my life telling this lie
Day after year, I just wanted to cry
In time I learned to hide  it so well
while like an ocean  my tears continues to swell
written by E.M.Rushton

Does fear really exist
Or is it a delusion
Or just a nasty trick
To blind you to the truth

Is it a sibling of doubt
Or a parent of painful worry
All a family within my head
That should be jailed for life

Written by EM.Rushton
August 7th 2018

I’m sitting
Staring
Searching
For words
Hidden deep in my mind
Waiting
To be released
Like
That of a caged
Tiger
With the smell
Of its prey!
Yes
You are my prey
I write
Waiting
to see
If you will
Run
Or stop
And read what
I am thinking.
The release is forthcoming
I am waiting
Staring

Written by E. M Rushton
June 132019

From where she stands, the lay out of the land is different in so many ways,
yet the same in one. The week has been extreemly stressful, with what seemed like
everything going wrong. With her sanity at stake, she stands , looking down off the hill,
to the field below , when Deja Vu  fills her mind. Then the thought of , "Someday, I will
be older and will look back at today.  Then she see's the small child of 8 years of age. The
child is crying and standing on a hill looking down on the farm fields.The woman then shivers
as she hears the the words the child speaks, " Someday I will be older , and will look back at today.
Then with a blink of the womans eye, the child is gone, and woman and child become one. 42 years later, the wisdom
of a child , still gives the woman stenght , when life seems unbeable .

Written by E.M.Rushton

My head is  so full
But of what I don’t know
Like that of a dam
Ready to over flow

To many thoughts
Fighting for space
Like weeds in a garden
That are out of  their place

I just need to sort them
The good from the bad
Like screws from the nails
To keep me sharp and not sad



Written by E. M, Rushton

Time is a thief , but also a giver
Time breaks us,
but it also heals us
Time only exists in the the second we are in  , yet is also eternally
Time will be your friend while at the same be your enemy
Time will make us panic , yet also relax
Time allows , but also denies
There are many words that have antonyms for which time is ,except for one
That word is precious.  Time is precious . Use it wisely for it has no before and no after , only now.

Written by E. M . Rushton.
2019

Wilted
           Weathered
Soul
         Tattered
                        Timestamped
Heart
           Confused
                             Confiscated
Mind
          Exhausted
                            Enfeebled
Body
         And yet when
                                  Laughter
        And
                                   Joy
Walk in all of life’s hardships
Disappear instantly

Child abuse causes fossilization of the heart and mind !

Written by E. M. Rushton

As the barbs of your words  punctured my heart
My eyes bleed tears the colour of crimson
My body shakes like that from a magnitude 7 earthquake
My brain swirls like a angry twister
And to nothing my life falls apart, like glass shatters as it go from hot to cold without time to adjust.

Written by E. M . Rushton

Hold me tight
Like a rose wrapped in a bud
In the summer light
Tender as bubbles in sud

Dance with me
Like the grass Sways
Touching so free
Like a butterflies plays

Tell me things
That set me on fire
And my senses sings
As my body perspires

Yes I wear my heart upon my sleeve
Its tender as a peldal from a delicate flower
I needs to give , it needs to believe
Like grass of spring needs rain shower

Sometimes  it cries like a new born child
And other times it’s light just like a feather
Sometimes it’s mixed up like plants of the wild
And even  gets angry like nasty weather

Broken today like glass hitting rock
Yet singing tomorrow like birds in the spring
My heart on my sleeve , I never will lock
It flutters with love, like a butterfly’s wing

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 16th 2018

Dust my heart light
With words of hope
Like dew of the night
So in darkness I cope

Teach me of strength
Of actions by you
Like a trunk of a tree
Stand tall beside me

Walk at my side
Pick me up if I fall
From my sight do not hide
You my friend I will call

Written by E.M. Rushton
June 29th 2019

I wish my mind would let me go
To say ok I’ve had enough
But instead it fights to grow
I’m just tired, it’s always tough

I bust my **** trying and doing
I put me last and all else first
I’m ask and told to keep on going
To see rewards is my thirst

But I’m just the dirt of  your life
I’m always there when I’m needed
Then you ignore, it cuts like a knife
I’m tossed away like a garden that’s weeded

Written by E.M.Rushton
June 12 2019

My heart is heavy
But not of weight
But of the ayer of your words
As they drip poison drops of nothing yet everything
Nothing is heavier , heavier than weight itself

Written by E.M.Rushton
June 3 rd 2019

Four paws walk
Through veins of
My heart with soothing
Whispers of love
      
Two eyes melting
All pain away
Speaking silently
Removing life's  gravities

Licks of a warm
Pink panting tongue
Gently Washing away
Stains of the day

Waging tail brushing
Hope deep into the
Recess of my soul no
Human can touch

Written by E.M.Rushton

To sit and write
Of who I am
Would take tonight
and a day be ****

For my birth alone
was in despair
A shack of home
Of a lions lair

there down I roll
Naked with ignorance
No food for my soul
Un able to balance