Asleep I am, Yet awake
In fields of wheat my mind does make
Rich I am in all this gold
All the beauty it beholds

Not a street within my eyes
Where yellow meets clear blue skies
I stand alone as I am one
In fields of gold under the sun

To my dismay I am returned
My skin is pink , like a burn
My fields of gold I see no more
I was rich but again I'm poor

Written by E.Rushton

Tonight I’m talking ,to my heart
As it was hurt time and again
It acted deaf ,from the very start
Then weeped remembering the all pain

I tried to sooth it , best I could
And even though it’s broken
If it wanted fixed ,I would
And Truely meant the words I’ve spoken

Then it started feeling hope
And I could feel it too
Now it felt like it could cope
And my heart I did renew

Written by E, M . Rushton
August 15th 2018

Butterflies and birds
Turtles and snails
Horses and donkeys
Then there is you and me

Each can relate
Some of the same
Yet differently too
Not just by name

Cars and trucks
Brooks and sea
Apart from the other
Yet family in life

Written by E M Rushton
August 9 th 2018

I fly up high on wings of man
And see below, the beautiful land
My job's to fight the firey beast
From North to South , West to East

I love my job and I am proud
But the fire is fierce , and its rage is loud
The sky is grey and thick with smoke
I pray to God I make it out

I dive down deep ,to drop the load
I hear the pop , my wings expload
My job on earth is now done
My life in heaven has begun

My sisters and brothers , please dont cry
For With wings of God , Im still up high
The firey beast has not won
For me eternity has just begun

Written by E.M.Rushton

Hidden behind ,your so called smile
I torture your mind ,all the while
Some say that, i am a coward
And by your fear, i am powered

I take refuge ,in your mind
And steal your happiness , so you cant find
Then make your days , as dark as night
And at night , youll feel my bite

I know your time , that I take
You cant get back , you cant remake
Your such an awesome ,living host
Your isolation, I like the most

Your secrecy , it helps me thrive
With it I breath, and stay alive
Your friends, they have a fear of me
Cause your not, who you should be

Written and copy right by
E.M.Rushton

Four paws walk
Through veins of
My heart with soothing
Whispers of love
      
Two eyes melting
All pain away
Speaking silently
Removing life's  gravities

Licks of a warm
Pink panting tongue
Gently Washing away
Stains of the day

Waging tail brushing
Hope deep into the
Recess of my soul no
Human can touch

Written by E.M.Rushton

With hands of love
At work or play
They go above
To help each day

Mouths they've fed
Tears they've wiped
Sometimes they've bled
But they never gripe

Like lead in pencil
Creating beauty
With out a stencil
And always on duty

A child they raised
With love they gave
A firefighter today
A life they saved

Written by E.M.Rushton

I have been there for a first breath
I have been there for the last breath
I have been there to save lives
I have been there to make lives better
I have been there for tears
I have been there for joy
I have been there in the light
I have been there in darkness
I have been there , when there was nothing I could do, But be there.
Today I cant be there, because Upon awakening this morning, although my eyes opened ,I was blind
The awful creature of darkness crept in through the night and stole my vision, my happiness, my being. This creature is called depression, I am Still me , but not myself.
I have been there, will you be there

The air is cool
The Moon sits high
The night is black
As here I lie

The silence is eerie
My ears are alert
The sounds make me Leary
I'm scared and I'm hurt

Sleep forces itself , upon my eyes
I dare not close, for here what may lie
I here the crack of some branches behind
My dangerous plight , and my breath I cant find

The pearly white teeth in front of me glares
The coyote it growls, and at me it stares
Then just when I pray and think I am done
Is the lone wolf of silver, in the midnight sun

With movements so swift, as that of a hawk
He faces my enemy and as a shield he does block
With his head to moon, he cry's out a howl
The coyote backs off and away he does prowl

As the beautiful wise wolf turns his head toward me
He's mysterious but scary and I just want to flee
With a powerful leap into the darkness he's gone
This wolf save my life and now he's off in the dawn

Written by E.M.Rushton

Time is a thief , but also a giver
Time breaks us,
but it also heals us
Time only exists in the the second we are in  , yet is also eternally
Time will be your friend while at the same be your enemy
Time will make us panic , yet also relax
Time allows , but also denies
There are many words that have antonyms for which time is ,except for one
That word is precious.  Time is precious . Use it wisely for it has no before and no after , only now.

Written by E. M . Rushton.
2019

I am me
and you are you
you want to be
just like me

I cant be you
you cant be me
you need to be
unlike me

I'm one you see
why cant you be
more like you
and less like me

so now you see
we're meant to be
unlike you
and not like me

Written by E.M.Rushton

Tear stain cheeks
from eyes that leak
Of news today
my heart it weighs

In two weeks time
My aunt will climb
The steps to heaven
so high above

She lives so far away from me  
To her I want to go and see
to hold her tight
when comes the light

I know she wouldn't want me sad
but the pain, it hurts so bad
My dear Aunt Bertha, please take with you
All my love, forever new

written by E.M.Rushton

After being sick for several days
The sun now shines.
She puts on her music of Bob Seger
Someday You'll Accomp'ny Me
The music puts rhythm to her feet
She grabs her dance partner
and outside the moves start.
They dance and sway together
around the shed in rhythm with the music
She twirls her partner around and the grass is flying
Then down around the garden they go.
The dance moves are becoming stronger, her partner is smoking
and up around the front of the house they move.
Oh what a beautiful day.
They then make their way around to the side of the house
when all of a sudden
her dance partner stops !
Not understanding why her partner has stopped,
she throws the stupid wipper snipper to the ground
and walks away cursing.

By E.M.Rushton June 25 2015

Little red bat
  said to cat
Lets play ball
Cat grabbed the bat
Swung like a brat
Well, the bat went flying
The cat started crying

Then the cat and the bat
laughed as they sat
On top of a big ant hill
They laughed till they cried
and then they decide
At ball they had their fill

Written by E.M.Rushton

Trapped like an animal
In a cage of words
With barbs wrapped
Around my mind and soul

The barbs dig deceitfully
As I try to defend myself
They slice with deviance and claw
At my heart as tears bleed out

After severing my heart
The barbed words encompass
A corrosive attack on my nerves
And assault my state of mind

un be knowing to the villain
its barbed words mutate
leaving the unsuspecting villain
open to an attack from its own creation

Written by E.M Rushton

As the rain fell
ripples formed
inside my heart
tickling my emotions

A smell of freshness
protruded my senses
carrying my mind
to a land of peace

like tears of laughter
drops cleanse my soul
in a dream like state
gravity has vanished

hydrated again
my thirst is gone
my spirit awakens
and my wings take flight

By E.Rushton

Among so many
We stand alone
So much alike
Yet so disjoined

Our worlds so different
And one we share
Alike we think
with different thoughts

You like, like me
Yet hate my likes
We hear the same
Yet hear things different

Through life we walk
down different paths
But at the end
Its all the same

Written by E,M.Rushton

The tears of my heart have gone unseen
Deep down within they flowed as a stream
While on my face a smile did show
The pain I felt no one did know

My heart was broken and blind you be
To the pain that lived deep down in me
In time I learned to it hide it so well
While like an ocean my tears continued to swell

I act like you want , so happy and free
You ask if Im better , and yes I agreed
When you turned your back to walk away
I wished for the truth if only I could say

Alone again I'm was better to be
Nothing to hide I could just be me
Another chance the truth to tell
Is gone again in anger I yelled

I lived my life telling this lie
Day after year, I just wanted to cry
In time I learned to hide  it so well
while like an ocean  my tears continues to swell
written by E.M.Rushton

The petal of a flower
Blew up and kissed me on the cheek.
Then on the ground it lay, wilting in the sunshine
While I am renewed , as I smile
The movement of my cheek muscles releases sparkling dust
Which falls upon the silky leaflet
absorbing it
The wind then picks the dust and takes it.
The petal’s last kiss is Is now upon the wings of butterflies no longer wilting.

My heart is my shield
Through life as I go
To love is my art
And hope to bestow

My hands are to give
When nothing is there
To reach to forgive
And lift from despair

My eyes are to see
Your light from with in
Through storms they will lead
And shed tears when you win

written by E.M.Rushton

My love for her, an aunt to me
From a different family tree
Our roots are different , yet so entwined
Family is a state of mind

Our daily struggles, God does see
You need aunt Bertha , he said to me
Upon awaking, upstairs I walk
There at the table she sits and talks

A stranger she was , yet in my heart
I felt connected, like never apart
Her kindness wrapped my soul in ease
And to my heart, she had the key

My dear aunt Bertha, your heart it shines
From different roots ,our lives did whine
I thank the lord , he gave to me
My dear aunt Bertha, forever you'll be

Written by E.M.Rushton

A brush of Autumn

Autumn feels so far away
Yet in my ear it whispered today
As it brushed by, I felt its breeze
Fresh and cool, It set me at ease

It is my favorite time ,of year
To wait for it , I can not bear
The frosted ground, so crisp and white
The sound of crickets , chirping at night

With leaves of yellow, orange and red
Upon the ground, they make their bed
My breath I see , in front of me
Alive I feel , my thoughts so free

Written by E.M.Rushton

From where she stands, the lay out of the land is different in so many ways,
yet the same in one. The week has been extreemly stressful, with what seemed like
everything going wrong. With her sanity at stake, she stands , looking down off the hill,
to the field below , when Deja Vu  fills her mind. Then the thought of , "Someday, I will
be older and will look back at today.  Then she see's the small child of 8 years of age. The
child is crying and standing on a hill looking down on the farm fields.The woman then shivers
as she hears the the words the child speaks, " Someday I will be older , and will look back at today.
Then with a blink of the womans eye, the child is gone, and woman and child become one. 42 years later, the wisdom
of a child , still gives the woman stenght , when life seems unbeable .

Written by E.M.Rushton

In my mind, I must walk
Alone and scared, I can not talk
About the crash that killed a kid
I tried to help, I really did
First on scene of that terrible sight
I cant forget that awful night.
People scream and yell at me
he's in the car, cant you see
The car is fully engulfed in flame
They curse at me, and me they blame
In my mind I know he's gone
But where's the driver, I must move on
I search the faces with the fires light
I yell above the horrific sight
Where's the driver is he alright
They point up ahead towards the road
He's lying there, injured I'm told
I take to running up the hill
I know I'm moving , yet feel so still
My lungs are burning, my heart pounds hard
Of that night , my mind is scarred
I reach the driver, in pain he lays
Go help my buddy is all he can say
Unable to tell him the awful truth
for he still too is just a youth
His clothes are burnt into his skin
My tears start falling deep within
The ambulance is here , to my relief
Their time on scene is short and brief
I help them care and load this man
I try to help, I hold his hand
In my mind, I must walk
Alone and scared, I can not talk
About the crash that killed a kid
I tried to help, I really did

written by E.M.Rushton
2016

We did so much together, but when her time came to enter  through heavens doors , I was stopped. As she walk through the doors I watched the softess glowing white feathered wings form upon her back , and a glistening halo of gold instantly appeared , floating above her head , just as she floated into the majestic kingdom. As she turn to face me one last time , I saw my friend, the way she used be , before the ALS ravaged her body and soul. I saw not one sign of pain and no tears falling , but a smile of love and pure peace

Written by E. M . Rushton
Aug 31, 2028

Dance, swirl, laugh
Let  go,
Close your eyes
See with your heart
Dance a prance
Let all be beautiful
That only a dance
Can do
I see you tapping
I hear your music
Just do
The unprepared
DANCE

If you awoke upon this day
Arise and shine,
Like the suns own rays
Let your steps be light,
And you heart be bright
Dance like the leaves,
In the warm summer breeze
Speak words that are kind,
And you will find,
At the end of the day,
You will have peace of mind.

Written by E.M.Rushton

My head is  so full
But of what I don’t know
Like that of a dam
Ready to over flow

To many thoughts
Fighting for space
Like weeds in a garden
That are out of  their place

I just need to sort them
The good from the bad
Like screws from the nails
To keep me sharp and not sad



Written by E. M, Rushton

The heat was intense, The inferno had crowned
The tress were black sticks, alone in the ground
the men and women .who fought the blaze
Knows all to well ,what in it does lays

there the little fawn does lie
with no trees , it try's to hide
And momma coyote, who's young are gone
paces blindly into the dawn

The nest of birds, that did survive
lays the young, that couldn't fly
and in the soot ,a dead fox lays
where it use, to run and play

the moss and plants, that here they grew
Until the fire, raged on through
the homes of many, now destroyed
and many hearts ,there is a void

A fire fighter ,who fought today
in a hospital bed, there she lays
you lit the fire, and had your fun
You can’t undo what’s already been done .

Written by E.M.Rushton

My heart is the page, upon your words of insults are written
My tears you bath in ,to wash away your guilt
My mind is your pillow, in which you lay your blame to rest
In my fear, you gain your bullying strength
My loneliness is your sanctuary of happiness
My bruised  body, is the place of birth for your rage

The pieces of me, on which  you've left a scar
Is only the surface, of who I am
I've taken and hidden, the rest of my heart
Beyond to a place, you will never to find
My tears  will dry, and my eyes they will shine
For the light I will see, and the darkness unbound
My mind will awaken and the truth shall be found

The fault will be shaken and pride will regain
The fear will dissolve and my strength I will gain
And stand up to you with pride I will see
Love will walk in, and alone I wont be
The bruises will fade, and in time they will heal
The pieces I hid you could not steal

Written by E.M.Rushton

In all I know for certain, uncertainties reside, while looking for something never to be known.

Written by E.M.Rushton
October 5 , 2019

I'm still just me
why cant you see
blind eyes by her
away she lures

A falling star
with an ugly scar
I've shown so bright
Now dull despite

Away you walk
I want to talk
to ask you why
You eat her lie

I'm still just me
Why cant you see
Blind eyes by her
Away she lures

Written by E.M .Rushton

Once again spring is here
the animals run again in fear
the grass is dead , the trees are dry
the weather is warm and the sun is up high

The firefighters gear up to roll
Protecting the land is their main goal
They study the weather and put out alerts
And pray to god no one gets hurt

The radio blares of a fire out there
Lights and sirens , no time to spare
Light grey in color , the column of smoke
the one that lit it , thinks its a joke

Back in the woods , in no mans land
Its hard to contain , in a softwood stand
the wind is high , no rain in sight
The flaming beast put up a fight

With faces of black and smelling of smoke
the beast is contained, but a long ways from out
We now have a hose line around the perimeter
Our bellies hungry with no time for dinner

Written by E.ME. M. Rushton

My thoughts and my pain along with my sorrow
Are fading away with the hopes of tomorrow
The smell of the summer, It came like a flood
And lavished my mind, as it ran through my blood

The sun and the land, together it came
And kissed one another, like beau and his dame
As one they did blush, Pink fuchsia appears
The breathtaking scene, I stood there in tears

Brought from my trance, a whisper I heard
A promise between them, without speaking a word
Together again some night they will meet
Spectacular it be , I was swept off my feet

written by E.M.Rushton

Does fear really exist
Or is it a delusion
Or just a nasty trick
To blind you to the truth

Is it a sibling of doubt
Or a parent of painful worry
All a family within my head
That should be jailed for life

Written by EM.Rushton
August 7th 2018

As shadows kissed upon the wall
They stood in love, proud and tall
My head I felt ,that I should turn
But in my heart , Their love I yearned

Across the ceiling, they danced their way
The music they hear, I wish i could play
He lifts her up, and twirls around
Then on her head, He sits a crown

Up off my bed, I start to dance
Without knowing, Im so entranced
Their orcastra , I now can hear
But when I look, they disappear

Written by E.M.Rushton

May I sing with onlymy heart
While my voice stays silently still
With my eyes open
By closing my ears

May I dance with only my eyes
While my body stays still
And open my mind
By stilling my thoughts

May I smile with actions alone
With my back to your face
See with your heart
While closing your eyes

Written by E. M. Rushton
Aug 8th 2018

The tortured mind
in darkness sits
As voices bind
the fear now hits

Are they real
are they not
my life they steal
I kid you not

They say to ****
they say to hide
against my will
I must abide

This curse I have
Upon my soul
there is no salve
to mend to hole

The hell in me
from day to day
no one see's
and I do pray

Upon the bridge
My screams I shout
I'm over the edge
I want out

To jump I choose
the pain is gone
But my life
I now loose

Written by E.M.Rushton

As my emotions overflow
Like a ruptured pipe
Tears draw their path
Down the concaves of my face
Like that of a writer with a broken pen
Trying to tell of their pain
When the  tears reach the lines
Of laughter gone by
Together rivers of confusion
Lead the way downward
Coming to rest upon my chest
As if to say
“This is where I was born “

Written by E. M. Rushton
January 2019

Flying up high  
Like that of a dove
Feel the air of the sky
A feeling I would love

The silk of a flower
So clean and so pure
With the mist of a shower
I’d love to endure

To sing in the wind
As the birds in the tree
My soul it would mend
My heart heavy with glee

This is my dream
For each and to all
Let the light of you gleam
May your sorrows be small

Written by E. M . Rushton
August 7th 2018

The darkness has grasp my mind
and the searing pain cuts deep into my soul
I scream silently in a non verbal language
Please release your grasp on me

I force my walk
with steps that weigh
the weight of hells iron gates
I try to stand , but am forced downward
by the heavy black fog
of this hideous monsters breath

I try to find my way out
Through eyes sewn shut
with absolute despair
My chest swells like a tide from
the jack hammering pounding of my heart

My bowels twist and coil
like a boa constrictor
killing its prey
My ears explode from within
at your words of ignorance "Be happy , "
Unable to rise to your demands
I sink deeper into this blazing
infernal of torment.

written by E.M.Rushton

In the night ,of my darkest day
I walk awake within my dreams
On twisted paths , my hopes do lay
For me to grasp ,in rainbow beams

The light of stars ,shine on each hope
And with a twinkle, they beckon me
While drops of dew , they form a rope
And as I climb , I fill with glee

I grasp each hope , and hold it tight
And to my heart ,I tuck them in
Then in the dark , I shine so bright
And now my life , it can begin

Written by E. M. Rushton
August 10th 2018

I wonder through each day
Like a fallen leaf in the wind
My mind it swirls up and down
Feeling caught like a fish on a hook

Inside I scream like a wild hyena
Outside I look calm like the dawn
Yet on I go like a flowing brook
Wanting to normal like nobody else

Written by E.M.Rushton
August 7th 2018

One day
                          I
                  Said nothing
                       And
                  I was heard
               Loud
                         And
                                   Clear  
          As my silence
                                   Deafened
                       All noise
         For those with in my realm

Written by E.M.Rushton
June 5th 2019

Today I'm going to catch some butter flies
And sit upon their wings
Where I'll fly ,I don't know
But I'll see some beautiful things

On top of a tree an elephant sat
Playing a fiddle and wearing a hat
Then to the east my pilot did turn
A little to fast, my stomach did churn

I couldn't believe what my eyes they did see
Dancing away was frog and a flea
I laugh so hard I fell from the wings
In a cloud with a fish dancing with rings

As I sit there and watch, I feel on my head
A big drop of rain, the size of a bed
With the rain I fall fast, and dizzy I get
Then I awaken, Its a dream I regret.
E.M.Rushton.

As the lighting flashes in the darkness of night  , the war in side  her head is intensified. The metal barrow she uses for shelter wraps her loneliness around her with suffocation . Then again , comes the load roar of thunder and mixed with the growl in her stomach from days of hunger , it spits deafness into her soul.
Written by E. M. Rushton

The wind blew a kiss to the rose
The rose bent to kiss the soil that feed it
The soil became fertilized by the beautiful scent of the rose .

Written by E.M.Rushton
June 23 2019

The fear of failure is the cause of my failure.

Written by E. M. Rushton