The word “****”
Is something kids should never have to learn
You should never have to know what is means
To be pushed down and have them forced upon you
Its nothing youth should know
Its nothing kids should know
Its nothing anyone should know
Its just a four letter word
Turned into a world of horror
Where the word “*****”
Gets thrown around at the wrong times
How did I ever bring this hell upon myself
When the clothes I was wearing were baggy
The shirt I had was collard
My pants were long, no holes
How did I scream out
“Take my innocence
Its okay I’m thirteen today”
Because I didn’t,
And if I do recall
I said the word “no”
So how does that give you the right to say
“Oh boys will be boys”
*He was no boy
He was almost twenty

I'm not someone to ask for gifts,
or pester for calls or texts.
I'm not someone to ask for more time together,
or request you send me home.

I'm not someone to ask for hugs or kisses,
or ask for flowers and roses.
I'm not someone who would ask you to plan a date,
or request that you call me when I'm sick.

I'm someone who wishes for all these but never asks.
And maybe I'm weird this way...
But I felt, if I had to ask,
sincerity and meaning would be lost anyways.

I'm tired to wash up,
So I procrastinate.
I'm tired to stand up,
So I'm sitting here.

I'm tired to walk to bed,
So I remain on the floor.
I'm tired to get myself to sleep.
So I'm still awake.

But I'm tired.

I was waiting for you to arrive,
Never been so anxious in my life,
I had longed to meet you,
I hope you felt the same too.

As I waited longer.
My heart started beating faster.
The tick tocks of the clock got clearer.
The sound of my heartbeat, louder.

I had to find something to do,
to seem less eager waiting for you.
So I acted like I was reading.
Though I could barely get a thing.

Then I heard a familiar "hi".
And I looked up into your eyes.
Your flustered face covered in sweat.
And then beside me you sat.

Those lovely eyes and dashing smile,
I haven't seen them in a while.
Your sincerity, how you looked at me,
made me as comfortable as I could be.

The more we spoke,
the more relaxed I felt.
You knew just what to say.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

An hour passed and an hour more.
And it was time for us to go.
As you opened that door,
my heart cried "no."

And then we parted with a smile,
And as you walked off,
I looked on for a while.

Something stirred inside my heart,
And I knew deep inside...
that I might...
Just might...
like you.

When I was a child,
I wanted many toys.
When I was a girl,
I wanted to have that boy.

But now I'm a woman,
And I know that life's not about play.
And that boys can't save the day.
And I wished a man would come my way.

So I waited.
And I dated.
But soon I realised,
That what I wanted,
no man could satisfy...

Every longing. every desire.
Every need for validation.
Every emotion.
This kind of drove me to depression.

A lost dream. A broken heart.
This fake smile, this calm facade.
This strong front, this high esteem.
I really wish that I could scream.

But thinking back upon it all.
The small girl of then, still standing tall.
On the outside, her frame is small.
but inside she's ten feet tall.

She is strong and matured now.
And I know she'll survive somehow.
I don't know what's ahead,
But there's no need to be afraid.

I don't know if you're just like me,
But, just know that you can be...
Very strong and very brave.
Keep going, don't lose your faith.

And on some fateful day,
You'll meet a man along the way.
And you'll be able to say..

"There was no better time to meet,
all our struggles made this sweet.
And it was all as it should be..
To make you YOU, and make me Me.
Now, we can say in certainty,
That all of this was meant to be."