Because even though we said forever
It feels impossible to be loved
By a woman 6 ft under

Riding the train
Her head on my shoulder
Off to the city
A lovely springtime date

I can't help but feel
That life gets no better
Than the silent intimacy
We found that day

one* I am a writer
two I am a submissive
three Life has handed me tons of lemons and I just don't know what the hell to do with them
four I do not know everything no matter how hard I try to seem like I do
five I hate yellow cheese, I don't know why but I hate it
six I love dogs. All dogs.
seven My relationship is more or less complicated as hell
eight I will never be a size 00 again.
nine My job *****.
ten I am not ready to be an adult.

There, those are ten things I know to be true. Do they make sense? Not really. Do they tell a story? No, I guess they don't. But are they all true? Yes.

The fact that there are so many
people in this world
hurts

They fill each corner of the street
They move about so
messily

How can there be so many when
I am only one
How

They live their lives so differently from
how I live my
own

They seem reckless and so fortunate with
closed eyes and different
souls

I don't understand how there can be
so many people unlike
me

dry fire,
dry ice,
quiet liar,
quiet mice,
rendered humble,
rendered missile,
sharp rumble,
sharp thistle,
total jarhead,
total *******,
something guarded,
something makeshift,
fastened underneath,
fastened monopoly,
melting dragonsbreath,
melting catastrophe,

Fire burns grasses
And comes to lick us.
A child lick it back.

The ice sifting in my glass
melts as the full moon sets
Another vice, constricting,
like a tightly wound corset
I can't be around so many people
in such familiar atmospheres
without a mixed drink and a cigarette
intervening through my beers

On her phone, at the table
She seems alone but not ashamed
I wonder if a single person here
could even guess her name
For a little liquid courage
I finish up my drink
I transfer to a closer chair
and ask on what she thinks

"I've got a past consumed by lovers
and a future filled with death
But the only thing I've ever wanted
was someone else inside my head
I want to hear somebody understand
that I don't always feel so fine"
I think I start to fall in love
as she pirouettes her glass of wine

She tells me how she grew up
on shattered hopes and dreams
Yet everything she's ever needed
has been well within her reach
The scars that she has
they paint a vivid history
A reminder of the past
A tour guide, makeshift, just for me

We talk a little longer
We joke and we sing
Halfway through her bottle
her ride informs us she's leaving
She says "I think I'm gunna miss you
when I'm alone laying in bed
Unless you want to take me there
and tuck me in instead"

We head out to the main street
where I hail us a taxi
She says she wants to split my headphones
and hear something relaxing
So we listen to Alcoa
Cab Rides & Cigarettes
I never knew that such a sad song
Could evoke such an affect




I dropped
her off
and left

But I'm glad
that we
had met

A catfish laughs.
It thinks of other catfishes
In other ponds.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.