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7d · 106
Darkness
"I will conquer the darkness"
you said,

not realising that the darkness was

your flesh

your eyes

your heart,

I took that darkness into my mouth
a thousand times,

chewed it between my teeth
and spat it out

like the stones of a cherry,

I conquered the darkness
not you
Feb 14 · 79
Wolf
Let the wolves wander

under the thickets of trees
that stretch out like a hand reaching

for God

let them moan under the moon

and their eyes shine like a thousand diamonds

lighting up the paths that I must walk

I am the wolf under the thicket,
under the moon

my sighs singing to the stars

I am nothing
and everything

I am God
devourer

of all
Feb 11 · 101
(it’s just sex)
(it’s just ***)

to consume someone completely

(it’s just ***)

to strip someone of their power

(it’s just ***)

to rob them of their identity

(it’s just ***)

to take away their future

(it’s just ***)

to imprison them in their own bones

(it’s just ***)

to tear them apart

(it’s just ***)
Feb 11 · 95
Forgiveness
May the space between
where I am when I’m
alone

and where I am when I’m
with you

be the ground in which
we can plant the seeds

of forgiveness
Feb 9 · 449
Unrequited Love
I have shattered love
with clumsy hands

always grasping
for affection
at the cost
of myself

I want to love
fearlessly

but my heart
is timid
from the cracks
it bears

kissing strangers
in the dark
and hoping
it will heal
itself

but it never does

and I live
under the burden
of unrequited love
Feb 8 · 96
welcome
tell me I am welcome
in the darkest corners
of your soul

tell me I am welcome
to rest my heart there

tell me I am welcome
to stay
Feb 7 · 43
always love
Love
splits us
apart

like the parting
of the sea

waves of longing
rippling between
my heart and yours

crashing against
the rocks of our souls

shattering like glass

we were holding
back the flood

learning how to navigate
the ocean

with a compass
in our arm

like a needle supplying us
with the sweetest of drugs

it was love
(always love)
Feb 6 · 17
Mirror
I hold
an undying hope
that I will one day
see in the mirror
what you see in
my eyes
Feb 5 · 34
Scum
You are
the ****
on my
shoe

that doesn’t
even deserve
the respect

of being picked
up off the ground
Feb 3 · 86
drink the stars
tonight
we drink the stars
toasting the moon
bodies entwined
like barbed wire
in the darkness
eager hands
striking out
there's hate now
where there once
was love
but a spark of
kindness remains
and a spark is
all it takes to
ignite a fire
and our love
will explode
like a supernova
into the infinite
universe of
nothingness
Feb 3 · 30
roots
there is a sense of longing
a sense that you do not quite fit in

anywhere

that you have no home
no roots

you are wandering in a forest
of indifference

the world hostile faces of
the strangers that you meet

with wild, frightened eyes

yet you do not run

you stand firm
and plant your roots

where you are

starting from scratch

a beautiful mosaic
of chaos

and fire
Jan 24 · 40
Whiskey Kiss
I taste love
in the whiskey
that we share
to warm our blood
on this freezing
December night

my throat burning
with lust and
longing, our hands
touching, flickering
in the embers of a
dying fire

the stars a mirror
of our kisses,
echoing back
to us the passion
that we feel
rising in our
souls
Jan 23 · 25
time, ticks
time is ticking away from me,
as I sit in my window,
a cigarette idly flicked between my fingers
into an ashtray that is overflowing,

how long have I been here?

the seasons change around me,
the daffodils change to sunflowers,
to crisp red autumn leaves swept
across my neighbour’s porch,

it will be winter soon,

children will build snowmen,
their fingers purple from the biting frost,
kisses chanced beneath mistletoe
and tables groaning under the weight of food,

time has gotten away from me,
it is too late now to chase it,
so I shall sit, and flick my cigarette
sitting stiffly in my window
staring blankly through the glass
Jan 23 · 153
Candle
we are a candle in the dark
too dull to light up our path
but warm enough to set a
fire in our hearts
Jan 23 · 140
Sins
sins cast
like shadows
skulking in
corners
waiting to
pounce on
unsuspecting souls
we are the
undergrowth
of a forest
earth deep
with secrets
and the sound
of the voiceless
ones
Jan 18 · 18
Sugar Lumps
Your eyes are soft in the morning
Like dew

Wet with the sorrow of the goodbyes
Of the night before

Your smile echoes in the faces of everyone around me
I can’t look at anyone anymore

Without thinking of you

A memory stirred like sugar lumps
Sweet and sickly

In the bottom of the cup of my heart
Jan 7 · 74
hit and run
I let my heart take over

when you kissed me
when your fingers lightly
brushed the skin on
my back

it was foolish
to believe you were
different from every
other man I'd ever met

to think that you would not
run the tires of your car
over my heart

drive over everything
I'd built my dreams around
my hopes of a future
filled with loving kisses
and tearful goodbyes

in one reckless
hit and run
Jan 7 · 25
rose
even a dying rose
has the lingering sense
of being something beautiful

does a broken heart
have the lingering sense
of being whole?
Dec 2019 · 27
as you drowned
in the blink of an eye
I see your smile

waves crashing against
the shore

the fierce movement
of the water threatening
to consume everything

I remember
reaching out to you
as you struggled against
the tide

I can feel your hand
slipping out of mine
as your were taken
by the sea

in the blink of an eye
I see your smile
even as you
drowned
Nov 2019 · 51
Recovery
I remember the colour of the leaves
in that first Autumn when I learnt to walk again,
a ghost turning opaque amongst the reds and oranges.
a flower growing from the dirt, newly fed and watered.
scared of blossoming, still, yet turning her face towards the sun,
taking the air into her lungs, mouthful by mouthful,
taking on the sky, bite by tentative bite.
Oct 2019 · 51
Stalagmite
I am something of a stalagmite these days
ice has grown from where the water
has seeped through the cracks
of the cave of my bones,
growing ever more solid
with the advance of winter
Sep 2019 · 30
"How does it feel"
"How does it feel?"

to be bare bones
flesh burnt off
by unkind
words

to be numb inside
feelings consumed
by the darkness
that few understand
but too many
experience

to walk around half alive
your only hope
being that your
soul has somehow
survived what you
could not
Sep 2019 · 37
a thousand goodbyes
our breath hangs in the air
as we walk midnight streets
a full moon beaming down
on our shadows

in the blink of an eye
you'll be gone from me
so I cling to your hand
as if my life depends on it

we have found our place
feet standing on pavements
built to carry the weight
of thousands

and in our hearts we carry
the weight of a thousand
kisses, a thousand fingertip brushes,
a thousand unbearable goodbyes
Sep 2019 · 33
The Split
We walk
Hand in unforgiving hand
Away from what we saw
In each other’s eyes
In the seconds before sleep

Bitterness has taken us
Blood and stone
Settling in our hearts
We have turned to cruel words
Thoughtless acts of callousness

We split
Parting like the sea
The tide against us
And waves recklessly washing away
What was once untouchable
Sep 2019 · 28
wanderer
my heart is a wild thing
walking the wilderness
searching for another
wanderer to call
my own

I have wasted years of my life
stumbling from one fire to another
and now I need a balm to heal
these burns

wild things long to be tamed, sometimes
and though I do not want a cage
I would **** for a pair of arms
to wrap themselves tightly around my body
Sep 2019 · 32
the root of your heart
the smell of your cigarettes
catches in my throat

it tastes of home
and your warm

embrace, holding my body
as it shakes

like a butterfly desperate
to fly, but

wings clipped and
chained

to the root
of your

heart
Sep 2019 · 282
until the darkness
moonlight gleams like pearls across
your chest, stars dancing, imprinting dots
upon your naked flesh

and I could not stand the sight of it,
so I stepped out, barefoot into the night

and I don't know where I'm going
but I'll just keep on walking
until the darkness is behind me
Sep 2019 · 32
alive
feelings are in flux,
the constant motion
of a wheel turning
in my mind

I do not know
when I wake
what number
the hand on
this endless clock
will be pointing to

I feel like a ghost
walking the Earth,
as if I woke up
one day and left
my body behind me

am I really alive?
was I ever really alive?
Sep 2019 · 187
all that is left
Hearts beat, still
when souls have been
stamped out

surrounded by plucked
flowers that have barely
bloomed

a garden of green stems
and sorrow is all that
is left

shattered glass that
pierces your flesh

a blood offering
is all that is left
Sep 2019 · 23
stitches of time
We have a love
that spreads out
across the constellations

each star a pinprick
of memory

a touch
a kiss
the lingering feel
of your fingers
running through my hair

the sun a burning siren
to our hearts, so that we
are never lost, never
straying too far apart

we hold reality
in the palm of our hands

weaving stories like
stitches into the
fabric of time

we will watch
as the universe burns

safe in the knowledge
that we have immortalised
our love
Aug 2019 · 46
she is woman
she is woman
standing before you
without armour
to shield her from
your stares

you think
she is powerless
but her voice
will rise like
smoke from
the ashes

and wrap
around your
throat until
you cannot
breathe

do not
underestimate
the strength
of a woman
who has
stripped herself
down to the
bone

for the world
to witness
Aug 2019 · 51
distant love
I have walked through fire
to reach you

and the blisters on my feet
are love bites

from a distant love
Aug 2019 · 154
Bluebells
I walked with you,

feet stomping through muddy ground
stepping over fallen branches
that we forged into shapes

out of the bluebells
I heard your voice say

this is a moment
treasure it
Aug 2019 · 572
I loved you before
I loved you before
we kissed

before I saw the way that
moonlight sat on your
soft features

I wanted you before
you held me in your arms

before our legs entwined
making a sculpture that
would stand the test
of time

I think I loved you
before I ever learnt
to love myself

you were the first person
to show me kindness
and I took my fix of it
just like any drug

I think I loved you
before we were even born
Aug 2019 · 40
as I loved you
I loved you
when my heart
was barely able
to beat

out any rhythm
the resembled
life

I loved you
running wild like
the moon sitting in
a black ink sky

I don’t like to make
a spectacle of
my passions

but I loved you
open to the world
honesty and truth
the cornerstones of us

our whispered secrets
at midnight, entwined
together as each found
a home in the other

and you betrayed them

loving another as
I loved you
Jul 2019 · 35
the fall
is it the fall we crave
when we think of love?

to slip beneath the salty waters
of the ocean, breathing out bubbles

that contain that one word -

love

it is light on the tongue
and yet to speak it

carries such weight

in those four simple letters
you are opening your heart

to another

hoping that they will act like magnets
and stick together, forever

love is a simple word
and to fall into it
is a freedom

perhaps the greatest
freedom we have
left
Jul 2019 · 101
map of love
I was a fool for thinking
I could keep you unharmed

as if I had the power to heal
wounds of the heart -

etched as deeply as
names on a grave

pretending I could erase sorrow
as if I were the tide upon the sand

I was too proud to admit to you
that to love me was no different
than loving any other girl

I come with my own hazard warning

nights where you’ll wake up in
a cold sweat,
lying next to the nightmare you just had

but if you’re ready
I will hold you hand, earnestly
and help you navigate the
messed up map of me

this ****** up map of love
Jul 2019 · 131
Telephone
With my hand on the telephone
I wait anxiously to hear your
voice again, a voice that
licks my ears like honey,
memories come back
vividly, flooding me with
longing, I used to be
better than this,
better than waiting
like a child for
Christmas, up at the
crack of dawn, awake
all night listening
for sleigh bells,
but you have made me
wild, one of a hundred
sad women living with
their eyes and heart,
sleepwalking, left with nothing
but a longing for a voice
on the telephone
to tell me I'm beautiful
and "please wait
for me" and I know
I would wait endlessly
for you, desperately,
as if you were a cup
of water at the end
of a a hot summer's day,
I am weak and wounded
foolishly hoping you will
heal me. Is this how I die?
waiting with my hand
on the telephone
Jul 2019 · 125
remember
just remember
what you’re seeing
what you’re feeling
what you’re hearing

it is the beat of love

and I, my steps
quick and frantic
hold all the I see
I feel
I hear

in the palm of my hand
like a bird
temporarily caged
about to be set

free
Jul 2019 · 56
fearing to love
In the corner of your eye
I see a tear

that takes me to the heart
of the ocean

the roar of the waves
shaking my ears

in a desperate cry
to be heard

darling, I hear you

your head folded into my neck
like a paper aeroplane

our lips meeting
passing nectar that restores

even the frailest, weakest of men
from the brink of

their hollow, lonely death

you are in my arms
and there is nothing left to fear

but the fear
of fearing to love
Jul 2019 · 70
conjuring
a candle reflected
in the mirror

echoes of spells
and rituals

conjuring love

overpowering each one
of my senses

the brightest light
glimmering in
my eyes

the softest touch
waking up
my skin

the rustle of tarot
cards being shuffled

a whispered promise

I can almost taste you
Jul 2019 · 118
No Ophelia
It was another dewy morning in  June;

the grass outside the apartment block was damp with promise
in the early morning sun

light streamed through the
***** glass of my bathroom window, highlighting my face as I lay stirring on the floor, my limbs bruised and heavy

an empty pill bottle, a couple of escaped tranquillisers, littered the black/grey slate floor

It was cold to the touch, and I

Frozen

memories came pouring back, before my head had a chance to catch up. My mind racing at the speed of a thousand cheetahs.

last night, my heart had been ripped open, left in ribbons for a child to come and play with. It was bleeding into my chest, I was drowning in my own blood.

Drowning. Drowning.

I had thought of it.

Ophelia had become something of a role model. A beautiful, tragical, wailing girl who had tied flowers in her hair and skipped off into the lake, pockets heavy with rocks

But no, there would be no ceremony for me, no bittersweet beauty.

The bottle was in my hand, like a grenade, and all I had to do was pull the pin
Jul 2019 · 43
One Heart
If I could hold everyone
I ever loved
ever kissed
ever touched
ever wanted forever with
in one heart

and let it rest in the palm
of my hand

I would come close to holding
the world
Jul 2019 · 32
it’s over
knifes slashing designer shirts
their ribbons scattered across the lawn
so that everyone can see your callous
heart. Your reckless romance with a girl
who you don’t own a house with.

I smash mirrors. They say you will always see a man in the mirror, flickering between the candles. I thought that man was you.

I play her messages on the answerphone as loud as they will go. I want people to hear and know how cruel you have been.

I used to be better than this.

but love makes you weak and petty, when it is taken away.
Jul 2019 · 63
Destiny
you make your own magic
or you make your own misery

there is no such thing as destiny
Jul 2019 · 301
Dressing
she undressed herself
for him

as one would undress
a wound

hopeful that the skin beneath
had healed
Jul 2019 · 131
Velcro Hearts
As he stands there,
arms stretched out towards me
like a ripple reaching out
to meet the rest of the
ocean

I realise that I am the ocean,

when we met, eyes dazed over
from beer, fingers casually flicking
ash from our cigarettes onto the
pavement

we were two hearts wild
with loneliness, latching onto
each other like velcro,

and now I dare not pull us apart
and feel the friction, hear the ear
screeching sound of separating
two things designed to stick
together
Jul 2019 · 39
The Woods
I want to roam into
the woods that I’ve
never felt beneath
my feet

the earth creeping
between my toes
the still, silent kiss
of nature

I want to run
my fingers around
the branches of trees

until my skin smells
of Oak, seeped in
greatness, ancient
and enduring

how I envy it

the woods
earth and
trees

are the whispers
that keep me
grounded in
the now

my past dissolving
like a thundercloud
that has run its
course

and I stand tall
Oak, Ash and Birch
the spine of time
great roots planted
in the ground

I am here, now
I am here
now
Jul 2019 · 30
Stranger
At your side
I feel like a stranger
to love

my heart skipping
beats

my breath
catching in my
threat

you have awoken
the ghost of
my soul

and now I am
searching the sky
for patterns that mark out
our future

hands clasped tightly
entwined, two bodies
dissolving into one

in your arms
I feel like a stranger
to myself
Jun 2019 · 39
storm
our hearts are
sleeping storms
waiting for the
sky to open
its wide jaw
and swallow
them completely

we have spent
nights with only
the stars for
company

we are
powerless
in the path
of thunder

but our souls
will thaw in
the sunlight
that follows

darkness is only
a temporary
state

the hours
a cycle

and we
will not
be stuck
in one
minute

forever
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