i ****** up my hands
hoping to feel something,
anything
but I'm still empty and numb
and want to keep punching walls
until the bones are
shattered

-e.w.

I got drunk
and punched walls
until I couldn't even recognize
or feel my hands

don't you dare call me weak
ever again

-e.w.

I told myself that I could handle this
that I'd make it
that I'd be fine
but my eyes have been overflowing with tears
the past 24 hours
and my wrists burn
and my head aches
and I'm back to not wanting to make it to
tomorrow

-e.w.

my head is killing me
from slamming it against the wall
over and over
trying to stop the voices
trying to just stop thinking

but I think the voices are louder now
and my thoughts are eating me alive

-e.w.

you stopped asking how I was
so I stopped talking

you stopped saying nice things to me
so I distanced myself

you stopped putting me first
so I ripped myself apart

you stopped calling me beautiful
so I stopped trying to be

you stopped caring
so I showed you I was better at not caring

you stopped loving me
so I wound up here, crying my eyes out
wishing I could disappear

-e.w.

It's this constant feeling
I'd be better off dead
lying six feet under
using my last breath to tell you
I love you
one more time
even though I know
you still wouldn't say it back

-e.w.

I've been ****** up
and ****** over
for as long as I can remember

you took this little girl
who had hope in everything
and turned her into a resentful, anxious, depressed girl
who lost hope in everything

including herself

-e.w.