everyday
I
wait
for
hope
that
will
never
come

-e.w.

I've come to the
realization
that I will never be
strong enough
to end my life

And that makes me
want to end it
even more

-e.w.

I did it.

And I tried reading your text
over and over
to see if I could get
the evil thoughts
to leave my mind.
To see if I could pull away
the sharp metal
pressed against my skin.

But your words
meant nothing
in that moment.
When all I could think about
was how I was going
to leave this world

-e.w.

I wish I had you back
So I could text you
When I feel like
Leaving this world

Because you were the only one
Who could text me
And say to go to bed
Before I did anything
I might regret
And I would,
Just for you

But now
I'm stuck here
Alone
Because you found
Someone else

And I try,
Oh I try,
To hate you
For doing that to me
For just leaving me
Like I was
Nothing

And when my thoughts
Haunt all my dreams
And nightmares
That now become
Reality

You're not there

And maybe,
You never were

-e.w.

Today's been bad
           The worst in awhile
                 And it's days like these
                        That I wish I could just
                                  End it.
-e.w

Right now
The only thing
I want to do
Is just sit here
And not worry about
One
****
Thing

-e.w.

It tears me apart
When I want so badly
To pursue the one thing
In this world
That makes me truly happy

But it's so hard
When there are so many people
Who are so much
Better
Than me
And I know
I'll never
Make it out
On top

-e.w.