I
promise
that
I'm
trying
my
hardest
but
I'm
thinking
that
I'm
not
going
to
make
it.

-e.w.

You told me
That you're so much
Happier

Because you have
That new trainer
Who's going to
Help you
Lose the weight
Because you say you're
Fat

Because your parents
Saw the scars
That cover your left
Wrist
So they are trying
To lighten up
On you

Because your parents
Are being nicer
About your grades
So you won't have so much
Stress

Because they finally
Noticed
That you were
Close to the
Edge.

And I am so
Sorry
Because I sit here
And talk to you
Saying how
Happy I am
For you

When in reality
I'm not.

Because now
You're just like
The rest of them
Telling me that it's
Easy
To get over
This seed of
Sadness
That grew deep
Inside me
And won't seem
To stop
Growing.

Because I am
Happy for you
That is was
Easy
Because you're
My best friend
And I love you

But no one
Realizes
That I am slowly
Dying inside
Day by day
And that I am
Quietly pleading
For help

And you
Don't understand
That I may
Never
Get past this.

-e.w.

It seems like
Everyone I know
Is finally
Getting the help
And love
They deserve
Because they've finally
Grabbed the rope
To get out of
This pit
And to finally
Be happy

And I don't know
What I'm doing
Wrong

Or why
I can't seem to
Grab onto
The rope
Dangling right infront
Of my
Eyes.

-e.w.

You have
Her
And I have
No one.

While one month ago
I thought
I had
You.

But I was stupid
And naive,
Once again,
So I fell for you
A beautiful
Blued eyed boy.

Because I thought
For just
One moment
You could've been
Different.

-e.w.

I'm hoping
One of these days
That when I sleep
For hours on end
I won't wake up
Because maybe
My brain will forget
How to breath
While my mind
Drifts to different dreams
And maybe
I won't have to
Face another dreadful
Day

And maybe,
Just maybe,
You'll miss me.

-e.w.

My head pounds
And even the
Tiniest bit of light
Can make this pain
In my head
Worse
And you're screaming
At me
At the top of your lungs
Not knowing
That this migraine
Is the worst
I've had in forever.
Because I "used" to
Get them 24/7
All the **** time
But I lied to you
Saying that I don't
Get them anymore
Saying that I was fine
Because I hated
Seeing you always
Worrying about me.
So I lied
Something you told me
Never to do
And I said
They were gone
As I'm silently
Sitting here
As you're screaming at me
About that grade in school
As my head
Pounds to the beat
Of the song
That's playing over
And over in my
Mind.

-e.w.

I have
This idea
In my mind
That the world and
You
Would be
Better off without
Me.
Because all I do
Is make you
Worried and completely
Stressed out
And I hate knowing
That you've done
All these things
For me
And that I will never
In a million years
Be able to
Pay you back.
And I am so sorry
I am not
The daughter
That you dreamed of
Because I have
That C in Chemistry
And I'm not the best
At making
Friends
And I'm not the girl
All the boys
Fall head over
Heels for
And I'm never
Going to be
The daughter that you
Deserve.

-e.w.