I'm having one of those
Days,
Weeks,
Months,
Years.

Because nothing
Seems to help
Anymore

Because nothing
Seems to make me
Happy

Because like I've said
A million times
And I'll say it
A million more

I am in this
Pit of depression
Where I am stuck
Without a ladder,
Rope,
Or even a hand
To bring me back
To the
Surface.

-e.w.

I often think
About how much strength
It would take
To leave this world
With that tan rope
Lying in my
Garage

Or maybe
That black
Revolver
Hidden not so carefully
In the basement

Or maybe
It's just as easy
To open up
Those brown
Cabinet doors
And reach my hand in
To grab
The big bottle
Of beautiful
Pills

But most days
I am far too
Weak
To do any
Of these options

But some days
I have all the
Strength
In the world
And could easily
Just get up and
Leave.

-e.w.

I hate
Every inch
Of this *******
Skin
That I live
In

And that's why
If you talk to me
Late into the horrible,
Terrifying
Nights

My face will be
Streamed with
Black lines

As my cheeks
Are as red
As the liquid
Dripping from my
Innocent wrists.

-e.w.

The only reason
That I am still
Barely breathing
Is so that you won't
Be disappointed
If I ever were
To leave
Because in my mind
Disappointment is far worse
Than the meanest anger
Or the depressing sadness
Because the only thing
That I have left
Is what people think about
Me.
So I want to be
Honest and kind
And someone who
Someone else
Is proud of
Because in my mind
That is the
Greatest honor.

So please know
That if I ever
Were to leave

Please do not be
Disappointed
Or I may be
Even sadder
Lying six feet
Under.

-e.w.

I haven't been
Doing very well
These past few weeks

And part of me thought
I was over this;
This never ending
Sadness

But it came
Creeping back up
Because I always
Let things get to me
And they just can't seem
To leave well enough
Alone

Because I've become
Sadder than ever
And it's like
My heart has been replaced
With this black hole
Slowly ******* me in

And somehow
You don't seem to notice
Or,
Maybe you try to
Ignore it

But you're the man
Who raised me
Who has been by my side
Through thick
And thin

So I don't understand
How you could not see
That your little girl
Is slowly
Dying.

-e.w.

I'm a failure
A ****-up
I'm someone
Who will never get anywhere
With this stupid thing
Called life

Because I'm getting
That terrible
C- in Chemistry
Because I've never been good
At science

And I missed
Working on the project today
With my group
Who probably thinks
That I'm lazy now
Because somehow
It totally slipped my mind

I try my hardest
But things slip my mind
And I'm not the best
At science
Or math

But my dad
Expects so much of me
And my brain
Races with this idea
That I could actually
Turn out okay
That I could
End up leaving this hell
Called high school
And go to college
And be smart

But then I have
Days like this
Where I forget something
And that whole
Idea
Crumbles to the
Ground.

-e.w.

The horrors fill
Each inch
Of my shaking body
As I think about the future
And how I don't think
I'll be able to make it
That far
Because one after another
My demons
Come to see me
One by one
Like an assembly line
Of my deepest
Fears.

-e.w.