I have this feeling
Deep inside my chest
That I need to
Stop loving you

Because I look at you
With longing eyes
But you walk right past
With longing strides

My name gets caught
Between your lips
As it slides right out
I'm wishing that it hadn't

You've broken me
Oh, so many times
I know I'm stupid,
But I can't help it

Because yet again,
I fall for you
With every word you say
With every smile you flash

I promised myself
That I would try to not love you

But here I am,
9:04 on Valentines Eve

Falling for you
Yet again.

-e.w.

I'm losing sleep
And my body aches
From all the weight it carries

I'm losing time
That I could spend
Being happy, or at least
Happier than this

I'm losing love
As I push people away
Saying that I'm poison
That I don't want them to stay

I'm losing my mind
As I wrack my brain
Trying to figure out
Why I'm even still alive

I'm losing myself
With each passing day
Telling everyone that I'm fine
That the sadness will just go away

But I'm never okay
And I'm starting to think
That maybe I never will be.

-e.w.

My phone buzzes
My best friend's name
Flashes across the screen
As I smile with joy

Her voice soothes
Even my darkest demons

She knows exactly what to say
Even when I'm at my lowest

She knows what I'm feeling;
She's going through it too

An hour ticks by,
but I wish the night and phone call
Would last forever

Because she's the only one
Who can make me laugh,
When I want to cry

Make me smile,
When I feel like
Slicing my skin open once again

Even though she's 3 hours away,
I feel like we're closer than
Ever.

-e.w.

The sound pounds through my body
Shaking my bones,
Rattling my heart

I'm inches away
From the man singing the words
That speak to me

He looks at me
As the words transfer through the mic
Swimming straight to
My rattling ear drums

I beg for the night to go on forever
For this moment
To never end

I want him to keep singing

Because with every lyric
I fall more in love
With the music

That fills my aching bones.

-e.w.

They say cigarettes shorten your life
Like it's a bad thing

To put that nicotine
Between your lips
As the smoke slowly slips away

But they say it's a bad thing,
That we'll lose 10, 12, 15 years

So I would smoke more
20, 30, 40 packs a day

Anything to lose those years

Because what if I'm done with all of this?
The party has gone on too long

And I want to go home.

-e.w.

I've never had drugs
Even close to me

But when this sadness
Doesn't seem to leave,
My mind wanders places
Where I could see myself

Taking a drag from that cigarette,
Pumping the liquid through my veins,
Or pressing it to my tongue

Anything,
To take away this pain

Take away this pain
From always being second best
Or being ignored

I would do anything

Anything,
To just be okay.

-e.w.

I try to write poems
Filled with love and daffodils
And pretty ****

But all that comes out
Are the lies that I'm hiding
And the things
Behind the mask


I try to write poems
About how I once loved a boy
Who loved me back
And we were beautiful

But that would be a lie
Because I have always been the one
Who loved
And got nothing in return


I try to write poems about happiness
About how I love life
Grateful for every breath

But that would be a lie
Because at night
When there's no one there to help
The depression creeps up
Like an old friend that I've tried to ignore

Oh, I swear
I've tried to ignore.

-e.w.