The new world I am in
Is filled with liars and cheats
Kissing you on a lonely Wednesday night
Leaving you in the late morning
With a coffee and a guilty conscience
It's when you don't talk for weeks
And you see him again at the bar with the 3D sign
He leaves, he's across the country chasing other skirts
He can't make up his mind
But his long hair gave you comfort
And his sweet talks kept you company
But the tans are now fading and the nights are getting longer
Now the seasons are changing, the leaves are falling
The game is now in your hands and the waves are crashing
You look him in the eyes and say goodbye
You're so much better off without those bad boy blue eyes.

You find yourself in another city
Feeling inspired with a friend
A pretty bird with a smile
You find a bar
Where typewriters are on the wall
And pages from books make up the wallpaper
Gin and mezcal
Passionfruit and cherries
The Pet Shop is open
Filled with the opposite ***
Everyone wants to get to know you
Get in your head like the words in a book
Making plans for road trips
And future apartments
Iceland and Nashville
Go before it's too late.

There will be no more blurry nights
You're only alone when you think
Surrounded by friends at the bar
He's on your mind
That night won't leave you
You left your heart in the wrinkled sheets
He worries about you and maybe you feel something
There's a new guy
He knows your face
He doesn't look you in the eyes
He sings like an angel
He's just another contender
How many does that make now?
Long hair and mysterious eyes
You no longer wear your heart on your sleeve
You tell them you're a femme fatal
But you feel more than any of them
You want to get on the road
You want to leave Jersey
And see the desert, mountains, and west coast
Find a partner who will share the same interests
Move in together or travel the open country
No more mistakes
Save your money and don't drink
Do something else to cure the pain
All the doors are open
Only one fork in the road
Except all paths lead to him
And this future is looking brighter
But you still worry all the time
He was sick and so were you
But you just had to get through it
Everything that happens is from now on.

He invites you to his studio apartment
Conversations start on his couch
You're drinking again
Strangers give you comfort

He tries to get in your head
You tell him just enough to make him fall
The limits are definitely passed
You kiss as he makes his way closer

The jazz band is playing
The light is on
The sun, it rises from the bathroom window
Ocean views and chamomile tea with honey

Your skin is soft and tan
His freckles tell a story
And his brown eyes don't matter
Talks of Arkansas and the golden summers

He squeezes you tight, he wants one thing
While you're thinking of someone else
You decide when is a good time to leave.

You start to feel alive
After he walks into your life
A text everyday
A coy smile on your face
He walks through the door
He's nervous I'm sure
A glass of wine to calm those nerves
His long hair and laugh
He kisses you at the loft
A spark crept up your spine
Sand in your socks
You can't remember the rest.

Mangoes and coconut for breakfast
You chose to stay with him
He makes you feel safe
A late night kiss, no sparks
only the light that peeks through the blinds
A walk on the boards,
You're still in your boots and dress
A jump in the ocean and naps on a blanket
Sand in your hair and waves crashing
He takes you home.

He wants to feel real
But you feel nothing
Both of them thought you were there for them
He is drunk touching your arm
While the other is coy and collected
He stares at you while he's on stage
While the other is hidden behind
They both want to take you home
Thoughts race through your head
You can't manage two hearts
In your lace dress
The night gets late
They play the strings and pass the drugs
Your friends arrive and lust fills the room
Jealousy and twisted advances
Polaroids and summer beers
Leaving in vans
You go back to his house
To only feel like a friend

We missed the fireworks
But listened to Springsteen covers by our friend's band
Then later in the night we walked down the street
To your house with your friends
Your long hair, tattoos and humble disposition
Led me to kiss you on your front porch
Then my friends arrive, one is on the floor
Too much alcohol for us tonight
Late night conversations and not seeing straight
A walk upstairs, clothes come off, and we're in your bed
I can't remember what was said, but I felt comfortable with you
I don't care if you're a rockstar and have a big house
I just want to lay with you and for nothing to make sense.

I remember I used to watch you play when I was 18
Every Thursday at that little Irish pub
Sometimes I couldn't keep my eyes off of you
When I had to seat the anticipating guests
I remember you gave me your number
But I was young and naive
And chased all the bad boys who would always leave
Now 8 years later
You're still playing in town
Your hair is long now
And your voice much deeper
I know you don't remember me
But maybe we can meet again
And this time I'll call you back

Friends with bad habits
Are the ones that you keep you up at night
Their blurry vision and poor choices
And their hands on the wheel
Get home safe tonight.

Whatever you do, don't.
When "everything used to be so good" was written in the sky
It was foreshadowing our once tangible, now inevitable future
If only I noticed sooner that we were growing apart
I could have had a ring, a house, a kid and not a broken heart
They say nothing lasts forever and we have to suffer to survive
But that town and our fake friends got into my head and made us feel alive
You were already a broken thing who could only feel regret
But it's not fair to the one who let her guard down
To only be abandoned by the one who couldn't break your heart.

Late night conversations about marriage, space and ***
Talking about life and things that make us laugh
We talk about him and we talk about her
We talk all night and somehow it all makes sense
It would be easy to fall for you because we talk so much
But it won't be that easy because I'm hard to love and you're not.

The windows are covered in frost and the air is cold
The streets are covered in a sheet of white
While the furnace is having conversations with the room.

& when it happened
The room was illuminated
My world stood still and nothing made sense
My legs felt like weights and no words came out
Then hospitals and needles
Doctors with no answers
A walk down the stairs and everything is different.

Apple pie
Tequila
And limes
Mixed with the poison that numbed my legs.

We were weaved together
By the spider who lived under the house
The one with the baby’s breath and violets by his bed

“I’ll never let go” played on the tele
As the screen became a blur and faces began to distort

The night went as follows
The sound of the animals
The fear of heights being medicated by the alcohol
Sparklers lit the sky and like bats we flew into the night

The taste of milk and the sound of strings
Haircuts and shoe glue
Denim vests with patches
Missing boots and a dance

The dirt is wet, the records playing
The ship sunk.