I notice you and all your insecurities you try to hide, how you hold your head up when the weight of the whole world is laying on top of it. you're strong, a masterpiece something crafted by god him self one the 7th day when he was supposed to rest. you're beautiful, and i see you. i want you, to want me. i wan't you to see me too, i want you to see all the good i can be when i can't see it my self, i want you to be my ancore, a hand to pull me out of these depths when i'm drowning in a dark endless abyss.  i want us both to compliment each other, to make each other better people. that's what I've always wanted, some one to open up too, someone who isn't scared to be vulnerable, cause that's when you're the most beautiful. someone i can love fearlessly, and that would love me fearlessly. maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic.

Felt like the steel tipped edges of a fake sword,
A young lover's sting, inclined to make one sob
And feel sorry

But no, not a word
Spoken 'gainst the face of the snob
Never a parry
Nor a word against sherry

8 months ago,

it did not seem like we needed drugs

and alcohol

to have fun.


And suddenly,

there was everything

we had heard about from

everyone else.


But instead of in the whispered gossip

and the disjointed stumblings of drunken dreams

it was right in front of us.


And so the straightedge in us

was bent

with every shot glass

with every smoking joint

that we brought to our anxious lips.


Slowly, hesitantly, at first,

our arms creaked upwards towards our open mouths,

as if we were training muscles,

we didn’t even know we had.

But then it became familiar,

and our elbows flowed smoothly with the oil

of routine.


And at sometime during those long and blurred nights,

I lost track of what was right

and what was wrong.


With every sip I drowned my values

and with every inhale, I cremated my former self

and the white smoke of the fire

wisped up into the air of a dimly lit garage.


Until all I was left with was the present,

wondering where the future would take me.

Dear Brother,
Today we partook in something
Mother wouldn't have been proud of
We tried to keep it a secret
But mothers know all
I wanted to wait for another time
I wanted to do it a different way
Be responsible
But I gave in to your rookie ways
Wanted to be the cool sister
And provide for you what my little bro wanted
Just to have a little fun
Now I'm in trouble
I take the blame for you
I won't let mom find out
But let this be a lesson for the both of us
Listen to your older, wiser sister
And the fun can still take place
But until then, I'll take this fall
And accept the consequences
Because I love you so
And don't want our mother
Looking at you the way she looks at me
Disappointed