Hello Mr. Stranger
I think I'm in love...

With that smile
Those freckles
That look in your eyes
You're happy
You're cute
And you look good in ties
You're a faraway stranger
We've never talked once
But when you walk by
My heart skips a bounce
My cheeks turn to blush
When I think of your name
I know you not at all
But like you just the same...

Oh, Mr. Stranger,
I swear I'm no liar
It's only your voice
And your hand I desire

I look at my teachers
Who stand in the very front
Of every single class
And teach me how to be
How to grow and learn
And be well rounded

I think of everything they know
All which they have learned
From textbooks
And from life
All of which they share
And that of which they don't

I think of their kindness
Sometimes their hatred
How they smile and joke
Or judge and yell
Why they are who they are
And how they came to be

I think about their days
Every day is spent
Within four walls
With hundreds of teens
Who hardly give a ****
And how they get through it

I think about their thoughts
The knowledge they hold
And if what they're teaching us
Is what really needs to be taught
And if what they have to say
Is really what they need to say

I look at them all
And I wonder
What they could teach
What I could learn
From each and every one of them
If the time and place and opportunity
Were given to us

And it makes me sad
To think that
All of my teachers
And my professors
Are all going to die before me
And I'll never know
I'll never learn
I'll never grow
From what they know
But never told

Because they only talked about
Synonyms or the quadratic equation
Or all the periodic elements
And they never talked about
What is most important in life
So we never know the important things like
Laughing
And pain
And having your heart broken
And crying for all the right reasons
And why we are the way we are
And how to get where we're going
And having dreams
And participating in life
And telling people that you love them
And understanding death
And understanding life
And how to save lives
And to be open and vulnerable
And knowing that everything is going to be okay
Even if it's not
Because that's what truly matters on life

It makes me sad to think
That people go through life
Without ever knowing
All of the important things about life
Because no one ever told them
And they never experienced them

So what are we doing?
Why do we go to school
To learn about things that matter
But don't really matter
In the end?
Because in the end,
You don't think about
Synonyms or the quadratic equation
Or all the periodic elements
You think about your life
And the the people,
Even the teachers
Who got you through it
And made that difference

You think about those few
Oh, so few
Teachers who taught you
The important things
About life
And how that
Made all the difference

What is a smile?
To others,
a smile is an expression of happiness,
of emotion.
To me,
a smile is an act.
A facade.
To hide my real feelings.
To hide the perpetual frown planted on this face of mine.
Maybe I fake a smile because I want it to remain frozen on my face,
forever.

i look at the burn peeling on my arm and i think about all the **** that got me here
from the red asterisk i drew with a knife three years ago
in the butter yellow room of my older sister's house
when we were homeless
to the childhood summer i spent as a lake baby
in my grandmother's car

i finger the scores of cuts on my arms
my thighs
old, most of them
some too deep to fade
each scar has a face
most of them are
mommy's

i like to remember her from old photographs
sun-bleached hair down to her unblemished thighs
the most inexplicable shine in her face

i think of how different those photographs would be
if she knew then that her daughter hurt her body
every time she thought of her mother

i think the smile would be different

but i look at her now
grayed,
aging...
still smiling.
as if she didn't know
that she made me a tiger
gave me these stripes
as if she didn't know
that it is her fault i am a killer

i look at the burn peeling on my arm
and for once this self harm isn't pretty to me
it is very, very ugly
a big, blistering red mark
marring my freckles
i wonder when it will fade
or if it will at all
i wish i could burn more than
just this arm
of mine.

School is...
A place of laughing
A place of love
A place of smiles
A place of hugs

School is...
A place for sitting
A place for learning
A place for writing
A place for earning

School is...
A place that hopes
A place that cares
A place that's safe
A place that shares

School is...
A place to go
A place to be
A place to hear
A place to see

School is...
None of these things.
Not a single one.
So go **** school
'Cause it's ****** you, son.

Innocence isn't just a
Thought
Theory
Feeling
State of Mind
Age
Lack of Knowledge
Purity
Cleanliness
Innocence is more
So much more
Than I ever believed it was
Or could be

I grew up
Maybe a little too fast
And all at once
And where I once was
Innocent
Innocent
Innocent
My mind grew
And expanded
And now I know
Of many many things
I wish I didn't
And no longer am I
Innocent
Innocent
Innocent
But I lack the
Thought
Theory
Feeling
State of Mind
Age
Lack of Knowledge
Purity
Cleanliness
Of
Innocence
That I yearn to have once again
But will never have again
Because once Innocence is lost
It cannot be found
Ever
Again
And you are forced
To sit
And see
And observe
The innocence around you
And mourn over
Your very own
Innocence
Which
Is
Long long
Gone.

Loose lips sink ships
Is what they all say
But tight lips, I fear,
Go the same way

When something is said,
A secret is told,
A whisper of pain,
A heart left cold,
You feel not at ease
And sense you must speak
But is this dark thought told
A secret to keep?

So the question lies
In the who, why, and how
Of keeping a murmur
Or speaking aloud

like a redheaded tiger
i too have stripes
red ones on my wrists
thighs
forearms

like a tiger
i can stand the fire
red hot welt
on my freckled forearm

like a tiger
i have claws
they are
silver
i cut at
that which harms me -
me