queer and tatted.
always running
from
my shadow.

but SHE
stopped chasing me
some time ago.

a ******.
maybe.
that's something
i can be.

yet, i cannot bare
to stomach
what you'll call me.

dare to call me
a woman...
or a ******,
i'll ******* up real quick.

bet you thought you
were funny.

bet you thought you
were slick.

truth is,
you just make me sick.
because
you're
just
a
*******
bigot.

may we all
dream dreams
that can
never
be crushed,
and
may all your crushes
never
crush you,
for it is the lovers
who are the lucky ones
and
the heartbreakers
who will be
forever shunned.

I tried to drink my sorrows away,
but the alcohol wouldn't
take me
like you do.

It can't hold me
in it's arms
like you do.

it can introduce me to new people,
and help me make friends.

but it could
never
kiss me
like you do.

despite
the fact that
I find myself
in a dark alleyway,
thinking about kissing your lips
with my own lips...

my lips
are kissing a bowl,
and
i cannot
bring
myself
to
spark up

without thinking about you.

I love you, but I don't want to.
I want to forget about you....
because having feelings for you
makes me feel crazy.
why can't I let it go?
I should just let YOU go.
but seriously,
I wish you spoke to me.
you know
it's really,
not in the least bit easy
to forget someone like you.

you obviously don't care,
so I'll have to train myself not to.
I cannot sacrifice my sanity for
six seconds of bliss.
I could not even trouble you for a kiss...
you don't care,
you'd hide me if you could.
you won't even give me the decency
that I thought you would.
my heart is as good as cracked...
I know this to be fact.
it's all starting to fade to black.
you are just pushing me away,
just like the rest.
I digress.
*******,
you have a lot of things
to show me.
I now believe,
that I'm truly meant,
not to be happy.
you have slain me.
*******.

i had just given up,
on coffee,
when i met you.

but your life is coffee.
so my heart just agreed.

i love when you put your arms around me.

but listen, i need you to pace this out correctly.
i need you to just hold on to me.

cling to me like a spy
on a grappling line.

and i swear,
i honestly don't mind
if you smell like wine.
sometimes.

i've been meaning to write more poetry.
but i'll probably never use this.

for it to turn out presentable...
i guess would my only wish.

because i needed to find a way
to say i love you
without having to stumble
over a bunch of other words.

that can wait till Wednesday.

but i bet that is something,
you already knew.

look, let me just say that
i am afraid of falling for you.

my track record is not so great,
and i've got a lot of activist work on my plate.

and what is the distinct possibility
that you and i,
could give each other what we need?

i'm just so terrified,
that you might leave.

my life has been full of a lot of ****** things.
i don't need another chance to be broken.
and it's been a few days since we've spoken.

i don't care how long it takes...
i'll stick around.

i feel like something
you picked up from the lost-and-found.

or a pathetic puppy from the pound,
like those dogs Sarah Mclachlan talks about
in the ASPCA videos.

i was homeless once.
does this mean that me i qualify
for this new space
to take the place of my new home?

the first time we ever had breakfast together,
you made me sit on the counter
while you were busy at the stove.

little did i know.
i fell in love that day.

and i hope you can find that to be okay.
because *******
i love you.

the most magical experience in life,
is being gifted
an unexpected epiphany.
epiphanies exist in many,
non-discriminatory
shapes an sizes.
and it just so happens that
this particular one
came to me in a time of
new awakening.
spring has sprung...
and so has my heart,
into your lap, that is.
just over a week ago,
I acquired a thick new layer of skin.
a soft, yet durable,
and pleasantly portable
safe space.
it has become my new happy place.
I now, cannot imagine
myself without
this undisclosed,
name-brand jacket.
and to me,
this is, a not-so peculiar notion.
because honestly
nothing has resonated with me more,
than this jacket of denim.
I feel like the blue guy
in that classic pop song
from the early 2000's.
my clothes are blue,
my hair is [cobalt] blue...
where is my **** corvette though?
I swear,
I need my own **** tv show.
however, I think there is something
that needs to be said,
beyond thank you.
I love this jacket
more than
the distance between
the earth and the moon
I have never felt so coddled
by an article of clothing,
than I do
right now.
in this instance,
I have recreated
my own new sense of style:
adorable queer alters reality
via jean jacket
and a black floral romper.
you can tell that I'm a "90's kid"
by the way I sport denim on denim
like it went out of style yesterday.
lovin' it like you got your arms around me.
oh darlin you did not
have to hand me your heart.
here, let me earn it.
let me work for your love.
I am gracious for YOU,
my beautiful gorgeous human being.
for it is you
who makes my heart swell.
my genderless Romeo,
my Sunday morning sweetheart.
push me up against the tree
in your front yard.
I want the whole neighborhood
to know
that my soul found solace in YOURS
and I want to shout if from
a ******* mountain.
making love with you
cleanses my mind.
leaving only room for
the notion of us riding off
into the sunset together
after spending an entire day
consuming the rays
like an all-you-can eat buffet.
and stashing them away,
like a chubby squirrel
during winter solstice.
this whole experience
has almost felt religious.
I pray this is something
I wouldn't part with, easily.
I want you to take me.
you've unlocked my aorta artery,
and I want to
make sure
that you are aware
that you are welcome,
to make this space
your home.